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hmm well that is a good point about adoption. i definitely think that is the course that young mothers who cannot support a child should go. but i dunno, i just feel like if i has a woman and that was my situation it would be too hard for me.

maybe i should have picked a topic that i have a stronger opposing opinion on hehehe


oh and i also can understand abortion if the situation is one in which the mother is gonna die or something.

i'm for it. it sure beats giving it up for adoption and having the kid bumped around from foster home to foster home....some of the foster parents could give a rat's ass about the kids (and abuse even occurs in a lot of cases), they just want extra money from the government. i think it would easier to get over the process of abortion of which you are sedated anyway, than to live the rest of your life knowing you have a kid out there....somewhere...THAT'S weird to me, it would make me feel uneasy.

but i mean don't use it as a form of birth control....

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee i'm for it. it sure beats giving it up for adoption and having the kid bumped around from foster home to foster home....some of the foster parents could give a rat's ass about the kids (and abuse even occurs in a lot of cases), they just want extra money from the government. i think it would easier to get over the process of abortion of which you are sedated anyway, than to live the rest of your life knowing you have a kid out there....somewhere...THAT'S weird to me, it would make me feel uneasy. but i mean don't use it as a form of birth control....

Young couples that cannot have children are on adoption waiting lists for years and years on end. It is SO HARD to get a newborn. They definintely are NEVER placed in foster homes.

Children that are given up for adoption at older ages (usually 5+) are the ones that are bumped around.

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Oh my god I cant believe you did this. Alright, Ill play. Rapes that end in pregnancy are few and far between. So so rare. In fact, its said that the reason why is because it IS forced. Thats another subject though, more scientific. Back to the original, why cant the woman give birth and then work with an adoption agency? I cant imagine having to carry a child for 9 months after something like that but I just want your opinion... [By the way, abortion and gay rights are the two issues I feel strongest about, haha. Good work.]

I don't have a definitive opinion, but here are some excerpts:

1. Life begins at conception. There's no arguing that.

2. However, there are times when abortion is appropriate (rape, incest, severe retardation, etc.).

3. Partial birth abortion is wrong. All abortions in the third trimester should be illegal.

4. In theory I'm more anti-abortion, but in practice I'm less so. If my (now ex) gf got pregnant I wouldn't be able to raise the child properly.

5. I'm against federal funding for clinics such as Planned Parenthood.

6. Counselling should be mandatory.

It's a tough issue, but I do think there's a middle ground.

yea i know...to be honest, i'd rather just adopt anyway, if i ever get that ticking clock thing....


anyway, those kids need homes just as bad. i wouldn't mind adopting a teenager or small kid.

what's wrong with planned parenthood? i don't condone people abusing such resources, but i feel they are a necessary, even if sometimes evil, institution.

my ex and i had to use it once. lemme explain the situation so that i'm not an ass hehehe. its new years eve...we're romping around and the condom breaks. just to be safe we went to the clinic and she got the day after pill because we both no that is not a responsibility we can take on. is that not a situation which using such resources would be ok? we were trying to be responsible...but sometimes that isn't enough.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller what's wrong with planned parenthood? i don't condone people abusing such resources, but i feel they are a necessary, even if sometimes evil, institution. my ex and i had to use it once. lemme explain the situation so that i'm not an ass hehehe. its new years eve...we're romping around and the condom breaks. just to be safe we went to the clinic and she got the day after pill because we both no that is not a responsibility we can take on. is that not a situation which using such resources would be ok? we were trying to be responsible...but sometimes that isn't enough.

nothing's wrong with Planned Parenthood, what's wrong is making people who don't believe in abortion pay for abortions

raping bitches is pretty popular...isn't it

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Originally posted by Slylee yea i know...to be honest, i'd rather just adopt anyway, if i ever get that ticking clock thing.... anyway, those kids need homes just as bad. i wouldn't mind adopting a teenager or small kid.

Wouldn't you want to have an infant? I would think there would be more of a parent-child relationship developed between the two if the adopted parent was all that was known? Not as much chance for development if the child has already grown up a bit.. In my opinion it would be more of a 'guardian friend' kind of thing that developed in that case..

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee yea i know...to be honest, i'd rather just adopt anyway, if i ever get that ticking clock thing.... anyway, those kids need homes just as bad. i wouldn't mind adopting a teenager or small kid.

Haha, the ticking clock. ...

Yes I most definitely agree... those kids need loving homes. I have a lot of experience with adoption, Ive seen so many kids that need families... 50,000+ children in Ohio ALONE are without permanent homes. I guess I dont know what else to say besides seriously consider it later on in life.

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Originally posted by apostrophe Wouldn't you want to have an infant? I would think there would be more of a parent-child relationship developed between the two if the adopted parent was all that was known? Not as much chance for development if the child has already grown up a bit.. In my opinion it would be more of a 'guardian friend' kind of thing that developed in that case..

Maybe if its a teenager that youre dealing with, but children younger than that need families and familial support.

i wanna have my own kids. this might sound a little insensitive or mean, but i don't know if i would be able to love someone else's kid the same way as i would my own. i really don't know because i've never been in that position, but i think it would always be something in the back of my mind.

if it was an infant, i think that would be easier of course, but even if i met a woman who had a kid already...i dunno if i could really have that ultimate connection between father and son. i mean of course i could love and take care of the kid, but i just don't know if it would be MY kid ya know.


ok women...go on...tell me i'm horrible

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller i wanna have my own kids. this might sound a little insensitive or mean, but i don't know if i would be able to love someone else's kid the same way as i would my own.

When you adopt a child, it becomes YOUR child. Especially infants. Blood doesnt make family.

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie When you adopt a child, it becomes YOUR child. Especially infants. Blood doesnt make family.

well i don't know...perhaps i just still have a young perspective on it, but that's how i kinda feel at the moment.

quote:

Originally posted by apostrophe Wouldn't you want to have an infant? I would think there would be more of a parent-child relationship developed between the two if the adopted parent was all that was known? Not as much chance for development if the child has already grown up a bit.. In my opinion it would be more of a 'guardian friend' kind of thing that developed in that case..

you would be surprised at what i am capable of. i make a strong impression on people...especially kids..they are always drawn to me. i should probably do something w/ psychology and children, but too depressing and not enough money to put up w/ the stress. i will volunteer though when i have time...guardian ad litem is a cool program.


seriously though, kids are the last thing on my mind right now...if i ever decide to have one, it'll be when i'm in my mid 30's. i have a lot i want to accomplish before then. who knows if i'll want to have my own or adopt, or both, or neither


*see my answer to thread titled "one word to describe yourself"...yea i put "wishy-washy".

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller well i don't know...perhaps i just still have a young perspective on it, but that's how i kinda feel at the moment.

What if you can't have children? Or what if your wife can't?

Thats fine. Maybe I have a old lady perspective? I dont know, haha.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee guardian ad litem is a cool program.

I did that years ago.

so did my mom...it's just really time consuming and i'm about to start school in october, plus i work full time.

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Maybe if its a teenager that youre dealing with, but children younger than that need families and familial support.

Not disputing the fact that all children need family support and surroundings. But what's the general opinion of adopting young children as opposed to infants? Being that they have already started their concious learning process, will the bond be different? Or will they still call the parents "mom and dad"

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee so did my mom...it's just really time consuming and i'm about to start school in october, plus i work full time.

That is exactly why I couldn't continue to do it. I'm glad that there are people out there that do have the time because it is definitely a good program.

quote:

Originally posted by apostrophe Not disputing the fact that all children need family support and surroundings. But what's the general opinion of adopting young children as opposed to infants? Being that they have already started their concious learning process, will the bond be different? Or will they still call the parents "mom and dad"

It depends on the child, and also how young they are. If they are still very young and impressionable, and open to the adoption, then yes, they will probably even call their parents "mom and dad." If they struggled in the first few years of their life or have had bad expereiences in foster homes, they might not be so accepting. Ive seen it in both cases really... of course we want the child to love their parents but sometimes it doesnt work out that way and the only thing they can do is love him or her to the best of their ability.

quote:

Originally posted by trancebrat What if you can't have children? Or what if your wife can't?

i dunno. i've thought about that. i'm not against adoption or anything i mean i love kids and i'm great with them. i'm just saying that i'd like to have a little bundle of joy that my wife and i create. if i couldn't have kids i would be really devistated and if my wife couldn't have kids, but wanted to adopt of course i would be open to the idea. maybe its a little harsh to say i wouldn't love the kid...i just mean that i'd really like to try and have kids the old fashion way first because that's what i would prefer.

well let's just drop all the titles for now...all a kid needs is love and support and a lot of guidance (and patience)...

and i don't know why, but every guy i've been with has felt the same way FF said about not being able to love a kid that wasn't "theirs"....care to elaborate on why?

do you love your dog or cat if you have one? how? you didn't give birth to it...

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie It depends on the child, and also how young they are. If they are still very young and impressionable, and open to the adoption, then yes, they will probably even call their parents "mom and dad." If they struggled in the first few years of their life or have had bad expereiences in foster homes, they might not be so accepting. Ive seen it in both cases really... of course we want the child to love their parents but sometimes it doesnt work out that way and the only thing they can do is love him or her to the best of their ability.

Eh, yeah. It's heartbreaking. I guess it'd take guts to adopt an older child...

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