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Posted by dj tek on Jun-21-2005 20:31:

Posted by Dervish on Jun-21-2005 20:38:

Seems to me the bf is a presuasive prick, who is manipulating her. I think the drama prediction is right. He's gonna hit her again and the cycle continues.

Posted by Thierry on Jun-21-2005 20:42:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
i know right...

oh well...i was hoping this wouldn't happen, but in the back of my mind, i figured they would make up, but whatever.

i'm not even worried about how i'm going to tell her nevermind, because i'm sure she'll be telling ME nevermind first!

Well that's that. Don't let her move in. It's still very nice of you to even help her look for a job. But that's all you should do for her. They do seem like one of those couples where the guy is a piece of garbage who likes to hit her and she'll pull every excuse to defend him (he hits me bc he loves me, it was for my own good, he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, bla bla bla). So for your sake, drop her like a good pill.

Terry

Posted by Slylee on Jun-21-2005 20:45:

i really don't think he's manipulating her...i think she is just comfortable in that shitty relationship and she's probably really intimidated at having to get a new job, get her own car, move out, save money...

she's taking the easy way out...i did that a few times and learned the hard way...i guess she will too.

Posted by NiteMer on Jun-21-2005 20:47:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
ok...i talked to her and now she's already making excuses for him, so i'm really turned off. she went from, "that fucking asshole hasn't even called to see where im at or if i'm ok, bla bla" to..

"yea we talked and i guess a lot more happened than i remembered"

then she went on to tell me how SHE was really wasted and passed out and he had been calling and calling, and then finally when he came home at like 4 in the morning (oh how nice of him to finally come home), there was broken glass on the floor (from her i guess) and he stepped on it and got pissed and BLA BLA BLA...

it was her tone...it was like she was justifying him hitting her...so whatever.

honestly...i thought and thought about it and i dunno...the 3 of us have dogs...hers is a puppy boxer and he will obviously get huge, & and my roommate has a wymreiner (excuse my spelling lol) and then i have my dog (medium sized mutt)...it's going to be pretty damn hard to find a place for rent that will let us have 3 medium to large dogs, and to be honest, i don't want 3 dogs in my house...jesus, it would be a damn zoo.

so yea i dunno..i'm totally still gonna help her get a job n stuff, but i dunno if i want her to move in now...

i really don't want the drama, and i know there will be drama...i think they are just that kind of couple...they love drama and it's just that stereotypical unhealthy relationship like pam and tommy lee. lol

is wrong with women like that? I just don't get it, but they always have that perspective. It's really lame and really frustrating. I have a girl that I know that still loves a guy that, I'm sure, cheated on her, only gave her sex twice a month, and mooched off of her. She paid all the rent, drove him places, and bought all of the food. He didn't do shit, and he'd stay out all night, "with friends". Then she'd go on about how much she loves him and all that shit. It just pisses me off. I'm not even interested in dating the girl, but it annoys me when she has to tell me all about this shit, and she has such a dumb attitude about it. Another ex of hers, that she was sleeping with again, who would call her and threaten to kill himself. Getting all drunk and trying to pull that shit on her. I told her that he wouldn't do it, and is using it for leverage, but she can't listen to reason.

Posted by M@t on Jun-21-2005 20:48:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
i really don't think he's manipulating her...i think she is just comfortable in that shitty relationship and she's probably really intimidated at having to get a new job, get her own car, move out, save money...

she's taking the easy way out...i did that a few times and learned the hard way...i guess she will too.

You could try making her realise that being in a violent relationship is not the norm, that most men dont hit their wives/gfs. Cos she might just have grown up and got used to seeing that kind of thing, so not know otherwise

Posted by dj tek on Jun-21-2005 20:49:

quote:
Originally posted by NiteMer
is wrong with women like that? I just don't get it, but they always have that perspective. It's really lame and really frustrating. I have a girl that I know that still loves a guy that, I'm sure, cheated on her, only gave her sex twice a month, and mooched off of her. She paid all the rent, drove him places, and bought all of the food. He didn't do shit, and he'd stay out all night, "with friends". Then she'd go on about how much she loves him and all that shit. It just pisses me off. I'm not even interested in dating the girl, but it annoys me when she has to tell me all about this shit, and she has such a dumb attitude about it. Another ex of hers, that she was sleeping with again, who would call her and threaten to kill himself. Getting all drunk and trying to pull that shit on her. I told her that he wouldn't do it, and is using it for leverage, but she can't listen to reason.

its called, girls with low self esteem... many things could have made them that way...

Posted by NiteMer on Jun-21-2005 20:50:

quote:
Originally posted by dj tek
its called, girls with low self esteem... many things could have made them that way...

I know, but it's still frustrating.

Posted by Slylee on Jun-21-2005 20:57:

yea, usually girls who put up with lots of abuse are just really insecure and don't think they can do any better...it's sad.

Posted by Thierry on Jun-21-2005 20:59:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
yea, usually girls who put up with lots of abuse are just really insecure and don't think they can do any better...it's sad.

Sad thing is that it's not even physical abuse. So many girls get treated like shit and always yelled at, but they just accept it and refuse to realize they can do so much better. You're right, it is sad.

Posted by Slylee on Jun-21-2005 21:00:

quote:
Originally posted by Echo of Silence
Jamie, I think you should really try to impress upon her that she's not responsible for her boyfriend's inability to control his anger, there is never an excuse for violence in a relationship, she's in an unhealthy relationship and unhealthy relationships do not become healthy ones, she deserves better, and if she chooses to extract herself completely and stay extracted until 01 August, you guys can look for living quarters for the three of you for 01 September (incentive?).

yea, but i'm serious about the dog situation...it might sound silly, but 3 dogs is a little much for me...especially a puppy...i HATE having to deal with shit and piss and all that crap..it took me forever to get my dog trained...

i'm happy that my little guy is going to have a buddy (my guy roommate's dog), but one more is pushing it...i forgot that she had that boxer...she just told me when i talked to her that it was hers...i was like, "oh great"...

Posted by Slylee on Jun-21-2005 21:14:

quote:
Originally posted by CraveTheRave
Sad thing is that it's not even physical abuse. So many girls get treated like shit and always yelled at, but they just accept it and refuse to realize they can do so much better. You're right, it is sad.

yea but i can only pity those girls so much...it's like get a fucking grip...

i had lunch today with this chick i've run into a lot at work-related functions (bf's work, not mine)...she's a marketing rep for personal injury whores (doctors lawyers)...she just happened to call me the other day which was kind of a surprise, but whatever i was excited to have plans...

anyway, she's dating this doctor who has bi-polar disorder and won't go on meds cuz he doesn't want to lose his license but she's always talking about how he treats her like crap and hits her bla bla bla...

but i am willing to bet a pay check she does it for attention...i dunno, i just get that vibe from her, because she's just always offering information about it, and her tone is almost like she's BRAGGING about it...hahaha i mean it's one thing to tell some friends you've known and trust, but i barely know her and she gave me an earfull!

she's a really pretty girl too and she knows it, but i think she just stays with him cuz he's got millions. i dunno, she told me all this shit at lunch today and i was just like, she sounds like a moron.

anyway yea, i definitely wont be calling her to chill...ISSUES!

Posted by Thierry on Jun-21-2005 21:22:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
yea but i can only pity those girls so much...it's like get a fucking grip...

i had lunch today with this chick i've run into a lot at work-related functions (bf's work, not mine)...she's a marketing rep for personal injury whores (doctors lawyers)...she just happened to call me the other day which was kind of a surprise, but whatever i was excited to have plans...

anyway, she's dating this doctor who has bi-polar disorder and won't go on meds cuz he doesn't want to lose his license but she's always talking about how he treats her like crap and hits her bla bla bla...

but i am willing to bet a pay check she does it for attention...i dunno, i just get that vibe from her, because she's just always offering information about it, and her tone is almost like she's BRAGGING about it...hahaha i mean it's one thing to tell some friends you've known and trust, but i barely know her and she gave me an earfull!

she's a really pretty girl too and she knows it, but i think she just stays with him cuz he's got millions. i dunno, she told me all this shit at lunch today and i was just like, she sounds like a moron.

usually women who get abused regularly are very intimidated and wouldn't DARE tell anyone, "oh yea, he hit me, bla bla bla"

she was even telling me how she told these 2 attorneys that he hit her...

i was like oh god...she's playing the damsel in distress bullshit, i wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even hit her...lol

anyway yea, i definitely wont be calling her to chill...ISSUES!

Yeah, that sounds completely like she's bragging and likes the attention. Like she expects you to tell others and then you'll all pity her and see how strong she really is for taking it... yeesh. And who just calmly tells everyone she's being hit? I smell BS and I live in Edmonton.

Yah, I feel sorry for girls who won't get out of abusive relationships, but I can only do pity for so long... pretty much if you bitch to me 3 times about the same thing, pity is out and I'll just think you're an idiot. I have a close friend that had a bf and whenever they were out, he'd like yell at her or treat her like shit and she'd be all upset and just take it, but then she would tell me he's so nice when they're alone, he's just like that when they're out. Does that even matter?? Get some bloody perspective!! PPL like that can only learn the hard way.

Posted by NiteMer on Jun-21-2005 23:20:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
yea but i can only pity those girls so much...it's like get a fucking grip...

Exactly. Even my business partner, who decided to try having casual sex with a girl he'd broken up with, tries to tell me all about how crazy she is now. I told him, in the first place, that he better not hit it again, because she's unstable and too much in love with him. Did he heed my warning? No, and, it's finally over, but he has to watch his back, because you never know what kind of crazy shit she'll pull. This was a while back, but it's a good example of the shit I don't want to hear about. If I warned your ass, several times, don't look to me for any kind of solace.

Posted by Arbiter on Jun-22-2005 00:41:

Sad.

The weak always strive to be weaker...

Posted by Orbax on Jun-22-2005 05:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Dervish
Arbiter I'm confused here, are you saying that if someone raped say your sister (since you guys are using the subjective argument method) you'd prefer to give them the easy option of a severe beating (corporal punishment or are you still getting to be the judge?)?

So they get a little beat up for a bit, wake up in morning sore but ok. And your sister? What about her?

Or is it in addition to being locked up? Or should you be allowed to kill them?

its more than a "little beat up" and waking up the next day is if they are lucky. Its something you literally dont walk away from.

if youve never had the ever living hell beat out of you you wont understand the mental impact it has. I remember and it stops me from doing stuff.

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