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Posted by Ste on May-16-2003 22:20:

Kitchen Catastrophies

today whilst at harriets house i was washing up being the all great boyfriend i am. however during this washing up i was washing a glass, and had my had squeezed inside to clean the botton of the glass with the little sponge thing. the bad thing is however, the glass burst with my hand inside, slive my hand and sadly, a main vein in my finger

so the was bloody everywhere (well mainly on my hand) and it was very horrible

add to that i slammed my hand in the till on tuesday morning, pierced open the skin on my hand with a bottle opener tuesday nigth, put my hand in a boiling hot cheese pizza and burning it on thurs (dont fucking ask ) it been a bit of a week of punishment for me

anyone else had a similarly painful incident in the kitchen?

Posted by Kinuvan on May-16-2003 22:24:

buggery, is it all ok now... stopped bleeding n stuff?

Posted by jp on May-16-2003 22:26:

Yes, every time my mother makes diner is a major kitchen catastrophy

Posted by Luke Terry on May-16-2003 22:29:

the idea is that you aint meant 2 put your hand in the bottom, put put a cloth/sponge/scourer in there so that precise incident don't appen.

btw, i have been told many times when i was v. small i decided to pour a kettle of boiling water on myself

Posted by Spad on May-16-2003 23:16:

You mean like if we'd all been eating chips from the chippie and Jeff then heated a saucepan on the cooker whilst the greasy chip paper was right next to the flame and set fire to the kitchen burning the underside of the cupboard next to the window while we were all stoned and me then pouring a glass of water over the 4ft high flames but accidently getting some in the plug socket and shorting out the kitchen?

Yes.

Posted by flystyler on May-16-2003 23:46:

Hmmm im obviously way to safe for my own good.

But my dad did put the plastic toaster on the fully on electric hub. Result, melted toaster stuck to hob. Nice

Posted by DJ Mikey Mike on May-16-2003 23:51:

ahh thats harsh ste. at work once i put a cup in the oven then str8 under cold water to see what would happen and yes it exploded! probs what happened with u?? dunno.. and once at work we put some eggs in the microwave copying jack dee, and it blew the mircowave door off, which funnily enuf also happened to jack dee A part of the door flew past me and hit someone else which was a bonus

Posted by dj_mdma on May-17-2003 09:02:

these stories are actually hilarious! Because i'm so handy (like ste) in the kitchen, nothing exciting like that has ever happened to me. Althouhg i might have to try the egg thing LMAO

Posted by tu_face on May-17-2003 10:00:

quote:
Originally posted by Spad
You mean like if we'd all been eating chips from the chippie and Jeff then heated a saucepan on the cooker whilst the greasy chip paper was right next to the flame and set fire to the kitchen burning the underside of the cupboard next to the window while we were all stoned and me then pouring a glass of water over the 4ft high flames but accidently getting some in the plug socket and shorting out the kitchen?

Yes.

oops

Posted by Ste on May-17-2003 10:44:

quote:
Originally posted by Project T
the idea is that you aint meant 2 put your hand in the bottom, put put a cloth/sponge/scourer in there so that precise incident don't appen.

btw, i have been told many times when i was v. small i decided to pour a kettle of boiling water on myself

i did but me hand was part in!

and i also melted me armw hen i was a kid as most of u know

Posted by Ste on May-17-2003 10:46:

quote:
Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
ahh thats harsh ste. at work once i put a cup in the oven then str8 under cold water to see what would happen and yes it exploded! probs what happened with u?? dunno.. and once at work we put some eggs in the microwave copying jack dee, and it blew the mircowave door off, which funnily enuf also happened to jack dee A part of the door flew past me and hit someone else which was a bonus

i did that with a glass pan lid once, put it in the sink under the tap after it being hot and it all smashed

Posted by decode on May-17-2003 14:19:

I onced sliced my hand between my thumb and index finger with a carving knife when i was a kid. It fucking hurt

Posted by KilldaDJ on May-17-2003 15:06:

ive blown up a microwave and a toaster b4

i didnt get hurt

the toaster wasnt my fault, it was kinda dodgy

however the microwave was, i accidentally microwaved a shepards pie but there was a fork innit, it was like 2 am in the morning, couldnt be bothered...etc
walk away and then a few seconds later...BOOSH! the microwave door blew open and the pie was everywhere

but it was cool

Posted by jdat on May-17-2003 15:08:

sorry to hear about your pains ste , just be more safe you know that can only help

Mikey that story you said was hillarious , I remember when I used to work in a food store we'd have fights with fruits, or take like an apple shrink wrap it and then stick it in the microwave the whole damn thing would turn to apple sauce ... ah so much fun at that job , once I remember I was speeding around the stock area with a tow truck and I knocked over a 6 high x 10 wide meters furniture and the whole thing fell ...... on a guy that was riding on the front of the tow truck ( mind you I was backing up ) ROFL we laughed so hard but I could have nearly killed him and it took us like an hour to clean up all the mess , but it was only stuff for packaging and labels and administrative documents so no biggie

Posted by jon on May-17-2003 15:12:

quote:
Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
dunno.. and once at work we put some eggs in the microwave copying jack dee, and it blew the mircowave door off, which funnily enuf also happened to jack dee A part of the door flew past me and hit someone else which was a bonus

*puts eggs in microwave and sets timer for wen evil housemate walks into kitchen

Posted by Misty Kitty on May-17-2003 17:24:

Not my story, but my bro was cooking by himself in his flat (beans on toast most likely) he turned away from the cooker, turned back He then caught his reflection in the kitchen window. sumhow he'd managed to set the back of his sweater on fire (from an electric cooker i have no idea how!!!) and had to jump in the shower to put himself out.

It singed the back of his hair and ruined the sweater (that i had given him for xmas) luckily no burns but could of bin alot werse the silly stoner

Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on May-18-2003 00:39:

I'm a good cook however I have hurt many people and nearly destroyed my house due to trying to cook.

One time I was drunk and about 7 of us piled into my manor and sat and watched some films we'd visited to petrol station for cigs, magazines, drink, food, etc. And I remember me and my mate Danny went to my kitchen to make cuppa's for everyone Danny came in as he had a pot noddle, I remember boiling the Kettle, and my mate Johnny stands in the doorway and says something to me I turn to him whilst pouring water from the kettle into the pot noddle then I hear Danny go fucking HELL! as he'd been steadying the pot in a few seconds of me turning my head I'd realised I'd poured scoulding hot water from the kettle alls over Dannys hands.

In my old house I must of been about 13 and our toaster had bust the button you pull down had bust, but the toaster still worked but you had to hold the button down, however I had some genius idea that if I put a kitchen weight on it and came back a minute later I would have toast, however I forgot and went into the garden, I thought fuck toast! ran back into my house which was thick with smoke and got to the kitchen seeing flames nearly reaching the ceiling, I remember sort of panicking at first then grabbing a wooden spoon and knocking the weight off the button the flames died down after about 15 seconds, but the smoke was still in the house for about 2 days.

We used to have these kitchen knives which my ma had sharpened and I swear they were sharper then a Samuri sword. I was about 12 and me and my mate Marc were messing around with them, I remember going to cut a piece of hard plastic the knife slipped and nearly sliced off the top of my thumb it was hanging off my a flap of skin, it didn't hurt because the knife was so sharp it just glided through, I ran to the toliet in my house and blood was spurting out litteraly shooting across my house, I used loads of water and wrapped my hand up in tissue paper I then noticed I'd coated the wall with blood in the bog, so whilst I sat in the living room my mate Marc tried his best to clear the blood off the walls, I knew my Ma would go mad so we went to my best mate Sebs house later on, I stayed round and I remember at Brekkie his Ma noticed my thumb wrapped style in tissue and she goe's 'Keir whats happened to your thumb' I told her what happened and she reallys I used to be a nurse btw and she got out all these butterfly stiches and wrapping stuff and dealt with it, when I got home I got bollocked for covering the bog walls in blood.

So as you've all gathered I can cook but I'm a bit of spastic sometimes in the kitchen.