Help with dreams I have been having.

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Posted by Emil on Jul-19-2003 05:51:

Help with dreams I have been having.

Hi guys,

A little background first. 4 years ago, a man who was like a father to us passed away. He bought my mom, sister and I a house, and supported our family, etc, etc. My parents are divorced, so he was our father.
Who ever has had a similar loss, knows the emotional rollercoaster you go through.

On to my topic, lately I have been having dreams where he is alive. In my dreams, he shows up one day, and we are all shocked. We ask him what happened, he said he didn't really pass away. The dreams are really weird, sometimes I wake up and hope that I wasn't just dreaming.

Any ideas?
Emil

Posted by Psionic on Jul-19-2003 06:00:

You're probably in somewhat in a state of denial. My mom went through this when her father unexpectedly passed away. She had dreams of doing things with him when he was alive, etc. because she couldn't grasp the fact that her father was gone. That's probably what you're feeling. Don't worry about it though, it'll go away on its own as time passes.

Posted by KilldaDJ on Jul-19-2003 12:28:

quote:
Originally posted by Galapidate
You're probably in somewhat in a state of denial.

i know exactly what kinda dreams and illusions shit u get, because my father passed away october of 2002

wasnt a nice experience, had my mocks going and i was fucked, in the head, couldnt concentrate, insomnia, questioning why?

its just my opinion and a bit of background info...

Posted by whiskers on Jul-19-2003 12:59:

"why does it feel more real when i'm dreaming?"

"there's some fiction in your truth and some truth in your fiction"

Posted by Arbiter on Jul-19-2003 23:04:

I know how you feel, although I only wish I could dream the way you do. Since my girlfriend died in an car crash a few months ago, I barely even sleep anymore. One or two hours a night would be very normal for me, and oftentimes I stay up for days on end, such as now, when i haven't slept in about 50 hours...

I doubt your dreams are an indication of anything other than the simple fact that you have a subconcious fixation on the subject of your dreams (your father). If you're lucky, it may subside with time.

Best wishes,

Arbiter

Posted by davinox on Jul-20-2003 06:10:

you miss your dad... so you dream about him.

obvious enough

Posted by wienerschnitzel on Jul-20-2003 07:05:

i had the same type of dreams after my friend killed himself... it even went so far as to having dreams of how he died like falling and hitting his head on a rock instead of shooting himself in the head. Other dreams we would talk and he would tell me he was alright. After a few years this past... I hope it will be the same for you.

Posted by Emil on Jul-21-2003 03:02:

Thanks for the replies. I was mainly curious, because the dreams started a year ago, and he's be gone for 4 years.

Arbiter, I hope you can live a "normal" life again soon, I know it's hard. Have you tried getting help, or counseling? Just a suggestion.

wienerschnitzel, thanks, I hope the dreams stop also.

Thanks again,
Emil

Posted by klingklang77 on Jul-21-2003 03:24:

i used to have the same thing, when my grandmother passed away (she was very close to our family). it wasnt recurring, but there were dreams of her being in them and i loved the dreams. i know it sounds sick, but it felt great to be with her again. when i awoke, it was a feeling of total emptiness and i was like damn i wish that had happened, but when i thought about it, it was a nice dream. those dreams took place about 7-8 years ago. she died in 1992, when i was 14. i remember reading an article about how dreams like this are normal and part of the grieving process and that is the last step. i have tons of dream books and i looked this up... (it is more of a Freudian book).

well it says this.."when someone close to us dies we go through a period of change from relating to them as an external reality, to meeting and accepting them as alive in our memories and inner life."

so basically this is the end of your greiving process. that you ahve accepted their death. i know it sounds strange, but in some ways it makes sense. you accept they are dead and that you have memories of them.

Posted by Emil on Jul-21-2003 04:24:

quote:
Originally posted by KLINGKLANG77
i have tons of dream books and i looked this up... (it is more of a Freudian book).

well it says this.."when someone close to us dies we go through a period of change from relating to them as an external reality, to meeting and accepting them as alive in our memories and inner life."

so basically this is the end of your greiving process. that you ahve accepted their death. i know it sounds strange, but in some ways it makes sense. you accept they are dead and that you have memories of them.

Wow, that's some awesome info! Thanks mate.

Emil

Posted by klingklang77 on Jul-21-2003 04:44:

quote:
Originally posted by Emil
Wow, that's some awesome info! Thanks mate.

Emil

you are welcome! hopefully it became clear to you? it is funny how dreams work sometime....
- Lisa

Posted by Emil on Jul-21-2003 05:02:

quote:
Originally posted by KLINGKLANG77
you are welcome! hopefully it became clear to you? it is funny how dreams work sometime....
- Lisa

Yes, it's become clearer. I hope that this part "so basically this is the end of your greiving process. that you ahve accepted their death. i know it sounds strange, but in some ways it makes sense. you accept they are dead and that you have memories of them." is true.
I honestly don't like having the dreams, they make me feel depressed when I wake up.

Emil

Posted by wienerschnitzel on Jul-21-2003 06:43:

KLINGKLANG77: i was staring at your avitar for a long time thinking "is that kraftwerk?" "is that kraftwerk?" and then i finally read the sig! I have a kraftwerk sweater and it is one of my most prized possesions!

Posted by klingklang77 on Jul-21-2003 14:53:

quote:
Originally posted by wienerschnitzel
KLINGKLANG77: i was staring at your avitar for a long time thinking "is that kraftwerk?" "is that kraftwerk?" and then i finally read the sig! I have a kraftwerk sweater and it is one of my most prized possesions!

yes it is kraftwerk. and klingklang is the kraftwerk studio. i love kraftwerk.

Posted by Vivid Boy on Jul-21-2003 15:00:

thats fuckin wierd i used to have the same exact dreams after my best friend died when i was a kid...i would have these dreams were he would just pop up out of nowhere and it was like everything was normal but i knew he was suppose to be dead....one dream ended with an old woman walking up to him with a look of shock on her face and then asked him "arent you suppose to be dead?" and then he turned to me and smiled and i woke up

Posted by Trancender on Jul-21-2003 18:52:

Maybe since he no longer exists in our world he is trying to contact you through ur dreams.

Posted by kris1351 on Jul-22-2003 06:42:

Not sure how well it will help with yours, but http://www.dreammoods.com is a good place to find info about dreams. They have an alphabatized list of what things commonly mean in dreams. It has helped explain more than one odd dream my fiancee and I have had. Some of the ones we thought were bad had very good meanings and likewise.