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how to deal with a bastard bouncer?

my favorite club overe here in Dominican Republic, abacus, is
prety good. small personal club, good music, i love it.

anyways, a week ago, Josh Mox was spinning, and i go.
i know some of the bouncers by now, since ive been there
quite a few times. so i walk up, say hi to the bouncers,
and i go in. this dude grabs me by the arm, and pulls me
out and im like WTF?! this dude all dressed up n shit asks
me for ID. now would be a good time to mention that im only
15, i look old tho. 18 is legal here, so it isnt a problem.
i whip out a fake ID, and this guy looksat it, and looks at
me and says '21 and over'. NO fucking club here asks for 21
and over. anyways, i step aside, and my 2 friends with fake
IDs that i made for them, that say theyre 19, show the dude
ID, and he lets them in. im like wtf.

i try to reason with this guy, and nothing, all he does is
look at me and say '21 and over'. the other bouncers wanted
to let me in, but this guy seems to have authority over them.
anyways, i couldnt make all my friends and my sister go home
over this, so i just walked off. walked all around the city.
went to another club that used to be good, and was playing
some commercial house music, being mixed with atomixmp3 and
trainwrecking every transition. it was pretty empty. the bar-
tender was cool and gave me a couple free drinks...

im fed up with the bad music, so i leave and walk some more.
at like 2:30am i end up at abacus's door, i had walked one big
circle. so i decide we'll be leaving in less than an hour, so
i just stand next to the door staring down that cock bouncer...

anyways, at like 3:15am one of the other bouncers calls me, and
asks me if my sister and all my friends were inside, why the hell
wasnt i? i answer 'because that dude is being a royal cock'.
he walks over to him and says 'stop being a cock' and walks
me in. im in for like 5 mins and get a call, its my sister, to
get to my friends car, that we had to leave.

was fucking pissed... but fine...

so yesterday, Slacker is spinning @ abacus, i take precautions
and make myself another fake ID (im an artist, really) that
says im 21. these arent ACTUAL IDs like the ones you are issued,
but student ID cards. i made it look like it was an old ID
that had already expired, and i was just using for age purposes.

so i get to the door, and there is carlos, the cock bouncer.
anyways, i walk over, and he barely recognizes me, and asks me
for ID. obviously didnt remember he had rejected me last time.
i present my new ID, he looks at it, and looks at me, and says
i need my official ID to go in. im like wtf, and make up a story
that they stole my wallet once and i lost it, so i dont like
to carry it around anymore. he says no. i ask him why he hadnt
asked anyone else for ID (same story as last week, only he didnt
ask any of my friends for ID now, he just stopped me) and he says
that he did. so i decide to stand there, right in front of the
fucking door till he let me in, i wasnt going to move from there.

what i was doing was legal, and if he tried to move me i wouldve
kicked his ass (he's not too big, and i was pretty pissed)
so anyways he goes inside, and there is this other bouncer. i
have a 5min chat with him and one of the other dudes, and i get
in. i then slipped that bouncer a $10, to be cool, i wont have
much trouble next time, of course, while carlos isnt there, if
he is at the door, ill have to wait till he goes in.

anyways, this guy is being a COCK. when my friends are inside,
he says hello to them, and goes over to my sister every time
and says 'greetings'. thats always after he rejects me at the
door and he KNOWS its my sister, because the other bouncer
told him. she said it herself, he does it as if with a purpose.

i dont know wtf is his problem, ive been goinig to this club
before he was hired there and he only pulls this shit on me.
i did have a kickass time last night at slacker, but that
bastard is pissing me off.

so, what do you guys suggest i do? suck it up and go on with it?
id love to put the smackdown ont hat bastard.

get a new ID.

I say you kill him...but that's just me...

quote:

Originally posted by BTG get a new ID.

i will, but he isnt pulling this shit because of my ID

quote:

Originally posted by Inertia i will, but he isnt pulling this shit because of my ID

haha

this dude seems to just not like you for some reason. fucking cockhead.
whatever just ignore him.

Stroll up to him with a fucking katana sword behind your back, and stab him in through his fucking eye, and out the back of his head. Tee hee hee!

yeah, definitely kill him. if he isnt going to let you in, even though you are underage and are using fake identification, you should kill him.

actually, what you should do

is next time you go bring some powder laxative that you put in drinks (i don't know brand names). put it somewhere no one can find it if they regularly search at the door.
go in, and get all chummy with the guy. tell him your frineds with everyone else you wanna make amens be cool whatever and offer to buy him a drink. get a drink, dump a shitload of the laxative in there stir it on up. bring the drink to him at the door and tell him to enjoy.

oh. and go into the stalls in the bathroom and piss all over the seats right after you give him the drink

Re: how to deal with a bastard bouncer?

quote:

Originally posted by Inertia what i was doing was legal

You're only falsifying official documents (and misrepresenting your age)...Yeah, that's legal.

I had a similar problem with a bouncer lately .... I am 19 and legal in canada but this mother****** seems not to like me too much ... dunno why but all the other bouncers I am buddy with and even hang out with some after partys and stuff ..

so last friday I forgot to grab my wallet from home and just had some cash in my pocket and so we go clubbing right . I come to the door and I was expecting to go in ... but he asks me for ID. I had nothing to give him so he's like go get your wallet and come back.

So to cut the story short I didn't get in and all my friend did ...
and my friends bouncers didnt work that night so I couldn't do nothing.

and here comes my revenge plot for the mother******

I have few options ...


1- drive by the club one night and paintball his bald ass head
2- follow him home after work and jump him
3- figure out where he lives , and slice cheeze his house ****
4- just ignore him
5- punch him out next time and never come back


I fucking hate him

and for you that don't know what slice cheeze his house means .

its when you throw sliced cheeze at his house so that it sticks and melts with the sun , but it also stinks like shit after few days and you can't really take it off withour repainting your house ....

I did it before when I was younger and trust me it really smells ...

ooops sorry got one more .....


shit in a grocery bag and pay a bum 20 $ to go and spread it all over his car .. haha thats a good one

quote:

Originally posted by The Rock Stroll up to him with a fucking katana sword behind your back, and stab him in through his fucking eye, and out the back of his head. Tee hee hee!

For some reason I am laughing my ass off everytime I read this response.

Emil

quote:

Originally posted by DaveSaenz You're only falsifying official documents (and misrepresenting your age)...Yeah, that's legal.

nah thats totally illegal, i was referring to the standing in front
of the door blocking the entrance as protest.

guys, im not pissed as much because he isnt because of
my age, because he has yet to prove that im underage,
its that everyone who has either a fake ID or none at
all, and HE KNOWS theyre underage, he lets in. but
not me, THATS whats pissing me off.

take Dovla's situation for example. the bouncer is being
a cock, but he is doing his job. this one is not doing
his job, letting everyone go in, even the ID-less baby
faced minors, and keeping me out. i would just ignore
him, but it kinda gets to you when you go out, everyone
goes into a club and you have to spend a few hours walking
aimlessly around the city or at the nearest shitty club,
when all of your friends, and your friends' friends, all
of which are underage, are dancing to music they dont know
shit about, and half of them are there just to say the go
to clubs and listen to that type of music.

fuck, its frustrating to be a young kid like me and to like
good music. at least ive gotten into my fair share of parties.

quote:

Originally posted by montie actually, what you should do is next time you go bring some powder laxative that you put in drinks (i don't know brand names). put it somewhere no one can find it if they regularly search at the door.

A couple of drops of Visine in his drink will have a similiar effect.

Pure black everything. Black gloves socks shoes mask. Everything.

Stand there waiting for it to have as few people in line as possible.

As soon as hes not paying attention SPRINT down the street and whip him across the cheek (might kill him else where) if hes alone start breaking his fingers and screaming 21 and over BITCH

and then run away,

****** wont be checkin ANYONEs ID unless its with his fucking chopsticks hes holding between his Gums.

I'm guessing he didn't want you in the club. Sorry to say this, but you probably don't look 18 at all and he knows full well you're not. Either that or you're the type of person they don't want in the clbu.

You also reckon that when you turned up the second week he didn't recognise you, I doubt this is the case. Number 1 rule with bouncers, if you have a problem turn around and walk away. Try to outsmart him and it wont work, he's got the winning hand (i.e. no matter what you say he can give a reason not to let you in).

Your only option would be to contact the club owner/event promotor and discuss the problem with them. Except you can't coz you're a kid. So there's not much you can do about it really.

quote:

Originally posted by Spad Number 1 rule with bouncers, if you have a problem turn around and walk away. Try to outsmart him and it wont work, he's got the winning hand (i.e. no matter what you say he can give a reason not to let you in).

Exactly. And arguing your point is only going to make it worse, and jeopardise your chances of getting in another time. Bouncers remember who the assholes are, so the golden rule is - don't be one...

Dude,
Grow up to 21, get an ID and start clubbin'...
Why whould someone take a risk and let you in the club with bullshit ID?

guys, thanks for all the advice

Spad, i can pass for 18, 21 is a stretch tho. hehe
i said he barely recognized me, because i could tell
he remembered he rejected me last week, but i sensed he didnt
remember why, as he actually took the time to look at the new
ID i presented him. if he remembered the other one that said
i was 18, he wouldnt have put on a charade. sucks to be a kid.
heh. i dont argue with him, i know that wouldnt get me anywhere.
nothing, ill just have to keep trying, or dummy up a better ID,
heh, i sure as hell am not going to start going to Shakira
concerts. dunno why he wouldnt want specifically me inside
the club, i dont stand out among the crowd, am not underdressed
or such. what bakes my noodle is why everytime he leaves me
out he directly goes over to my sister and greets her.

Fundamental, very true, i dunno what this guy has against
me, ill have to think up a way to make friends with him or some-
thing.

MOSCHINO, i understand your point of view, but i dont think
that just because i am 15 i am obligated to lisen to shit music.
if i had to wait till im 21, thats 6 years of parties i will miss,
considering the lineup this summer, thats just not an option.
a few headliners:

-Danny Tenaglia
-Mistress Barbara
-Chris Fortier
-Anthony Pappa
-James Zabiela
-Wilson Santos
-Luke Fair
-Densyn Masielo
-Hybrid
-Carl Cox
-Danilo Vigorito
-Valentino Kanzyani
-Umek
-Sander Kleinenberg
-Tania Vulcano
-Steve Porter
-many more...

again, i understand why he doesnt want me in, age wise,
what i dont get is why he only does it to me, and lets
every little shitling go in. if he's gonna be a secure
bouncer and not let anyone under 18 in, fine, but when
he lets people from my school that are 15,16,17 inside,
dont look anywhere near 21, and denies access to me,
when im actually there for the music and all those other
cocks are taking e, drinking their body weight in alcohol
or just being their to say that theyre "cool ass ravers",
feck, pisses me off.

I would have your friends talk to the bouncers you do know and work out something with them. I am sure they can leave some names with The Cock to let you in.

Ok, you mentioned Umek...now I understand why they MUST let you in the club...you and 15.000 other kids who once downloaded Umek's @ MAYDAY from Soulseek...

Dude...
If your ass gets fucked up and taken to local police station, club will pay fine and even close it's doors...because of you. If anything happens to you, your mom and dad will go after the club, blaiming the club and only the club.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Dj Dovla so last friday I forgot to grab my wallet from home and just had some cash in my pocket and so we go clubbing right . I come to the door and I was expecting to go in ... but he asks me for ID. I had nothing to give him so he's like go get your wallet and come back. So to cut the story short I didn't get in and all my friend did ... and my friends bouncers didnt work that night so I couldn't do nothing. and here comes my revenge plot for the mother****** I have few options ...

Yeah. OR you could just deal with it and be sure to always have your ID with you. Even tho you are 19, there might be a new bouncer who doesn't recognize you, as in this case. He's just doing his job ffs

And regarding Inertia.. 15 year olds in clubs? What is the world coming to? Espescially when it's 21, do you really think that the rest of the clubbers want some small kids in there? I think not.

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