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God exists! And I have the proofs to prove it!

Hehehe these crack me up. The sad part is is that people actually use some of these.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

Re: God exists! And I have the proofs to prove it!

quote:

Originally posted by occrider Hehehe these crack me up. The sad part is is that people actually use some of these. http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

I like the Creation/anti-evolution one. I can really relate to this one at the moment. I'm currently got myself up to my knees treading through shit with Creationists/IDers in another forum. Jesus it's hard to convince IDers of the obvious. But then I've got a couple of ID folks who are pretty intelligent but are using a wealth of straw-man arguments, throwing in a ton of philosophical points and babble, using half-truths and picking and choosing scientific principles to fit their agendas, which has forced me to open up my old science books and do some online research to refute their crap. Anything to fit their anti-Darwin "God-designed it all" agendas. Their circular reasoning is frustrating. Don't get involved with this crap.

Re: Re: God exists! And I have the proofs to prove it!

quote:

Originally posted by MisterOpus1 I like the Creation/anti-evolution one. I can really relate to this one at the moment. I'm currently got myself up to my knees treading through shit with Creationists/IDers in another forum. Jesus it's hard to convince IDers of the obvious. But then I've got a couple of ID folks who are pretty intelligent but are using a wealth of straw-man arguments, throwing in a ton of philosophical points and babble, using half-truths and picking and choosing scientific principles to fit their agendas, which has forced me to open up my old science books and do some online research to refute their crap. Anything to fit their anti-Darwin "God-designed it all" agendas. Their circular reasoning is frustrating. Don't get involved with this crap.

Haha lemme know if you need any help. There's nothing quite like refuting an uppity know-it-all creationist. Like my gf . Unfortunetely I can only go so far to prove that she's wrong ... yes I am ed

You just have to use circular reasoning back. My personal favorite is.

If god is all powerfull can he create a stone that is too heavy for he himself to lift.

a rather long read, but very enjoyable!!

most of them don't even make sense

I posted this in here a while back... here it is agian for those who missed it:



John and Mary Pay a Visit


This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door
I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his ass?"

John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, he'll kick the shit out of you."

Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropists. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do what ever wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million
dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"

Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"

Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."

Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"

John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he kicks the shit out of you."

Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the
million dollars?"

John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar bill on the street."

Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"

John: "Hank has certain 'connections.' "

Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And
remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the shit of you."

Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from him..."

Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?"

John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."

Me: "Who's Karl?"

Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?"

John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for your self."

John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on "From the desk of Karl" letterhead. There were eleven items listed:

From the desk of: KARL
1. Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the shit out of you.

Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's Letterhead."

Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."

Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."

Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."

Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"

Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

Me: "How do you figure that?"

Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hanks says is right.' That's good enough for me!"

Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true too."

Me: "But 9 says 'Don't Drink,' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."

John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."

Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from outer of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon came from the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."

John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

Me: "We do?"

Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."

Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic. That's no different than saying 'Hank's right because he says he's right.'"

John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking!"

Me: "But... oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary blushes. John says: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"

John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary looks positively stricken. John shouts: "There's no need for such
language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la la la la la la."

John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary faints. John catches her: "Well, if I'd known you where one of those, I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you, I'll be there counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
Ketchup anyone?

ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES
(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

lol

I once saw this documentary in America which showed how all these school boards are ensuring that evolution/natural selection is not taught in schools or if it is it is taught on an equal basis with "scientific creationism".

I have also read articles talking about how many many americans genuinely believe in the literal truth of the Bible and the existence of the Devil.

^^ Well there a Harris poll that details the sorts of things people believe in that worries me a bit:

God 90%
Survival of the soul 84%
Miracles 84%
Heaven 82%
The resurrection of Christ 80%
The Virgin birth 77%
Hell 69%
The devil 68%
Ghosts 51%
Astrology 31%
Reincarnation 27%

http://www.harrisinteractive.com/ha...dex.asp?PID=359

Carl Sagan was right: we're entering a new dark age of superstition and irrationality. :-/

quote:

Jesus it's hard to convince IDers of the obvious. But then I've got a couple of ID folks who are pretty intelligent but are using a wealth of straw-man arguments, throwing in a ton of philosophical points and babble, using half-truths and picking and choosing scientific principles to fit their agendas, which has forced me to open up my old science books and do some online research to refute their crap. Anything to fit their anti-Darwin "God-designed it all" agendas.

If you need some material have a look at www.infidels.org . A huge resource and some pretty intelligent people on the forums too.

quote:

Originally posted by Renegade Heaven 82% Reincarnation 27%

So there are people who believe in both? Argh, I hate humans.

quote:

Originally posted by Renegade ^^ Well there a Harris poll that details the sorts of things people believe in that worries me a bit: God 90% Survival of the soul 84% Miracles 84% Heaven 82% The resurrection of Christ 80% The Virgin birth 77% Hell 69% The devil 68% Ghosts 51% Astrology 31% Reincarnation 27% http://www.harrisinteractive.com/ha...dex.asp?PID=359 Carl Sagan was right: we're entering a new dark age of superstition and irrationality. :-/ If you need some material have a look at www.infidels.org . A huge resource and some pretty intelligent people on the forums too.

I'm assuming all the people who took the poll were devout Christians?

quote:

Originally posted by Arbiter So there are people who believe in both? Argh, I hate humans.

apparently 9% ? *sucked at math*

quote:

Haha lemme know if you need any help. There's nothing quite like refuting an uppity know-it-all creationist. Like my gf . Unfortunetely I can only go so far to prove that she's wrong ... yes I am ed

wrong

you can't prove God exists but you can't prove God does not exist

i mean if people want to believe their is no God....let them

if people want to believe their is a God..let them


just another example of others attacking others beliefs.

Occrider's link and Izzy's post was a good laugh.
Great topic me thinks

quote:

Originally posted by torontotrance wrong you can't prove God exists but you can't prove God does not exist i mean if people want to believe their is no God....let them if people want to believe their is a God..let them just another example of others attacking others beliefs.

I never said I was out to prove God didn't exist ... as a matter of fact I'm agnostic/deist so I do believe in a "God" of sorts. I'm merely stating that I can refute my gf's silly arguments to support creationism.

btw izzy that was a great story hehe

quote:

silly arguments to support creationism

how are they silly...it's her own beliefs

quote:

Originally posted by torontotrance how are they silly...it's her own beliefs

It's not the belief that's silly, it's her justification for those beliefs that are somewhat silly. Which stands a greater chance of being right? A 2000 year old book that's trying to explain the beginning of life a million years ago with little or no factual backing? Or a theory that has relentelessly been under the microscope of modern science for over 150 years and has withstood the continuous examination, poking, and prodding for any flaw that would render the theory false? How can I give any credibility to a book's account of how life was introduced on this planet when it misguesses the planet's own age by several billion years? If you're going to debate that creationism was how life was introduced onto this planet, at least support that thesis with some kind of evidence to back up such a claim.

quote:

Originally posted by torontotrance how are they silly

Well, for one....

http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/noahs_ark.html

quote:

Originally posted by Renegade Well, for one.... http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/noahs_ark.html

Renegade you moron, everybody knows there were only 23 species of animals, one for each letter of the alphabet, back then (alligator, bats, cats, dogs, elephants, foxes, goats, hippos, irritating mosquitos, jackals, koala bears, lions, mice, nipples, otters, pythons, quail, rainbow trout, shovel nose lizard, Toucan Sam, ugly monkeys, vultures, wabbits, xylophones, yaks, and zebra). God created the rest AFTERWARDS!!! Damn how did you get to be so stupid????

quote:

Originally posted by occrider Renegade you moron, everybody knows there were only 23 species of animals, one for each letter of the alphabet, back then (alligator, bats, cats, dogs, elephants, foxes, goats, hippos, irritating mosquitos, jackals, koala bears, lions, mice, nipples, otters, pythons, quail, rainbow trout, shovel nose lizard, Toucan Sam, ugly monkeys, vultures, wabbits, xylophones, yaks, and zebra). God created the rest AFTERWARDS!!! Damn how did you get to be so stupid????

Wow, it must have been a challenge keeping the nipples and the xylophones from eating each other for a whole 40 days and 40 nights.

quote:

Originally posted by Renegade Wow, it must have been a challenge keeping the nipples and the xylophones from eating each other for a whole 40 days and 40 nights.

Truly God's handywork

nipples hahahahahahaha

i'm 16 and still laugh when someone says nipples.

kill me.

quote:

Originally posted by Izzy I posted this in here a while back... here it is agian for those who missed it: John and Mary Pay a Visit

Izzy, this is the greatest piece of writing I've ever read that shows that the logic behind "God" is absolutely horrid. Quite the enjoyable read.

Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

To Occrider:

Thanks for lending the hand on helping out with Creationism debunking. I've done enough studying through my old bio. notes and enough current research to knock my opponent on his ass for awhile. As expected, he retreated into his "God said so" rhetoric eventually. He actually had a pretty good case building up with the likes of Behe and Dembski and all their spewage on irreducible complexity, but they were pretty easy to knock down once I did my homework on these bozos. As for anyone else who cares to bump heads with me on this issue, bring it. I may only have a B.S. in Organismal Biology, but it doesn't take a PhD to combat with fundamentalist stupidity.

One should never blur the lines of religious belief and scientific reasoning. Once the distinction is made, a sense of peacefulness will ensue form your clarity. It is easy to have both, and it is easy to see that there is no conflict. Unless, of course, you believe in King James verbatum - but few actually do. Anyways, I'm just feeling good to have made my point - so someone can come along and knock me off my ass now, if you dare.....

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