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Posted by butterfly on Sep-16-2003 12:50:

people advice

for a change, this one isnt about relationships.

so i post on a lot of messageboards. i used to post on this one last year and i met a bunch of ppl, some who i became close with and others whose lives i very briefly brushed. well i met this one guy who is a house dj (who isnt in new york? ) and he gave me and my friends his demo and was trying to get us to come to parties he throws in new jersey and things i really had no interest in spending time attending. i listened to his demo and it was ok at best. and then i didnt have contact with him again.

so now he pmed me like a year later asking me to post in a thread trying to get him promotion so he gets a gig at a big club that i dont go to. normally i would support a friend but (1) i hardly know him and (2) i met him through i guy that i dont like. besides that i dont really like his music. so i dont really want to promote him and furthermore, i am insulted at the shameless self-promotion of asking me to do it because asking me is taking away any merit of my opinion on his music.

so i am not going to post for him or do anything really. but he pmed me again like a week later asking again and i feel like i should at least reply. the problem is, i dont know how to say no without being mean or confrontational.

anyone have any ideas?

Posted by INDY on Sep-16-2003 13:01:

IGNORE...

Posted by Cuervo79 on Sep-16-2003 13:02:

LOL, 1 the ballzy route, tell him exactly how you feel or you want to keep reading pms? 2 the normal hypocritical aproaches (hehehe I do these) forget to reply, or conjure some bullshit story...

Posted by ambs on Sep-16-2003 13:03:

quote:
Originally posted by politicsofdancin
IGNORE...

*LOL* I agree....

I'd have to think long and hard how to word it nicely and frankly, I think ignoring is just easier than having to put time and effort into staying polite

Posted by INDY on Sep-16-2003 13:05:

quote:
Originally posted by ambs
*LOL* I agree....

I'd have to think long and hard how to word it nicely and frankly, I think ignoring is just easier than having to put time and effort into staying polite

hi amber!!! it's indy aka smurfettenyc from the tiesto forum...nice to see you here on TA. how are you gurlie?

Posted by butterfly on Sep-16-2003 13:08:

quote:
Originally posted by ambs

I'd have to think long and hard how to word it nicely and frankly

lol that is why i asked you guys. i might just be honest - that i dont feel comfortable promoting someone i am not really close to or whose music i am not really into. and that i dont want to lie about it.

Posted by Cuervo79 on Sep-16-2003 13:29:

well then Tell or ignore,

Posted by ambs on Sep-16-2003 13:36:

heyyy indy!!! I didn't know you were on here

I'm not on the tiesto forums anymore (I got banned *LOL) but it's cool to find you here! I'm moving to Miami in just 12 days! Hopefully I'll get to meet you at WMC or something???

Butterfly: perhaps that's the best thing you can do, if you want to stay polite about it

Posted by INDY on Sep-16-2003 13:50:

quote:
Originally posted by ambs
heyyy indy!!! I didn't know you were on here

I'm not on the tiesto forums anymore (I got banned *LOL) but it's cool to find you here! I'm moving to Miami in just 12 days! Hopefully I'll get to meet you at WMC or something???

Butterfly: perhaps that's the best thing you can do, if you want to stay polite about it

omg , you got banned??? how is that so? i heard alot of people got ban from there...:/

melissa: not for nothing but if you really feel uncomfortable confronting him about it, then just ignore him. Like you said, you don't really know him well enough, so it's no big deal

Posted by ambs on Sep-16-2003 13:54:

I got banned for calling them what they are : a dictatorship hahaha deleting all the negative posts about tiesto... hahaha I guess that didn't make them all that happy... and I know at least 1 other person who got banned too. so sad

Posted by INDY on Sep-16-2003 13:56:

quote:
Originally posted by ambs
I got banned for calling them what they are : a dictatorship hahaha deleting all the negative posts about tiesto... hahaha I guess that didn't make them all that happy... and I know at least 1 other person who got banned too. so sad

o well, you can join the craziness here then hehehee

Posted by butterfly on Sep-16-2003 13:59:

quote:
Originally posted by ambs
I got banned for calling them what they are : a dictatorship hahaha deleting all the negative posts about tiesto... hahaha I guess that didn't make them all that happy... and I know at least 1 other person who got banned too. so sad

sounds like they are afraid to face the reality that not everyone worships tiesto.

Posted by ambs on Sep-16-2003 14:07:

quote:
Originally posted by butterfly
sounds like they are afraid to face the reality that not everyone worships tiesto.

that sounds pretty accurate!! *LOL* I worship AVB instead hahahahahahaha

and yes indeed Indy!! I like TA woooeeeeeiiiiiii

Posted by Scottaculous on Sep-16-2003 14:12:

Best thing you can do is use assertive words such as "I feel". Avoid: "I think", "You are", "You" + anything.

"I feel I'm not the right person to help."

Go Effective Communications course baby!

Posted by butterfly on Sep-16-2003 14:16:

quote:
Originally posted by Scottaculous
Best thing you can do is use assertive words such as "I feel". Avoid: "I think", "You are", "You" + anything.

"I feel I'm not the right person to help."

Go Effective Communications course baby!

i follow the logic of your advice. I learned that you should sue emotional words like that when you are talking to a "feeling" sort of personality. though, i know nothing about his personality besides that he is deluded into thinking that he can make a living from djing so i guess that doesnt matter anyway.

Posted by Scottaculous on Sep-16-2003 14:27:

quote:
Originally posted by butterfly
i follow the logic of your advice. I learned that you should sue emotional words like that when you are talking to a "feeling" sort of personality. though, i know nothing about his personality besides that he is deluded into thinking that he can make a living from djing so i guess that doesnt matter anyway.

I think it would be best if you replied to him just once with a brief statement. Should he keep replying, just ignore him.

Posted by butterfly on Sep-16-2003 14:29:

quote:
Originally posted by Scottaculous
I think it would be best if you replied to him just once with a brief statement. Should he keep replying, just ignore him.

i think that would show respect. i think ignoring is really kind of rude.

Posted by butterfly on Sep-16-2003 14:33:

i didnt send this yet, but is this too cold?

quote:
quote:

laraver wrote on 09-15-2003 04:39 PM:
Hey Girl! Haven't seen you in awhile. I was hoping to get your support on this post. I really need this booking. A lot of CPer's came out and supported and I was hoping that you could bump up the post and add something positive. Anyway I would really appreciate the help. Thanks, Chris Lewis aka LA Raver

hi, the reason i didnt post is that i am not really familiar with your music and i dont feel comfortable promoting something i am not connected to or that i havent taken an interest in. i do wish you luck but please understand that i wont post anything.
melissa

Posted by TheatreBaby on Sep-16-2003 14:36:

that doesn't sound too cold at all....he'll probably appreciate your honesting and your kindness for telling him upfront. Since that is always the best route.