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-- Friyay
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Friyay
ahh tis officially friday afternoon. Time for larking and banter and funny things u got sent by email.
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Male comebacks to female comebacks to male pick up lines -
Man - Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman - Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man - Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.
Man - Is this seat empty?
Woman - Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man - There's no need to get on your knees suck on my cock just yet,
we've only just met!!!
Man - Your place or mine?
Woman - Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man - That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my car, I don't give a shit where you go.
Man - So, what do you do for a living?
Woman - I'm a female impersonator.
Man - That explains the moustache then!
Man - How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman - Unfertilised.
Man - No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.
Man - I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman - But would you stay there?
Man - Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.
Man - You're pretty
Woman - Piss off.
Man - Don't interrupt, You're pretty ugly, you fat bitch!
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righty.
haha thats wicked man... made my day at work, cheers mate!! 
Cheers, ill have to remeber them
theres a few missing from there!
one i vaguely remember is
Man : I would die happy if i saw you naked
Woman : I would die laughing if i saw you naked
Man : Thats alright, as long as you're still warm when i do you up the arse.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Give us some more
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dj_mdma theres a few missing from there! one i vaguely remember is Man : I would die happy if i saw you naked Woman : I would die laughing if i saw you naked Man : Thats alright, as long as you're still warm when i do you up the arse. |
EWWWWWWWWWWWW
Friday Afternoon Fun!!
LMFAO @ those pickup lines.
Now for something a bit more physical to keep you amused for the remainder of the day:
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right
hand.
Your foot will change direction.
I consider this to be very sketchy 
hahahaha - i just got some really strange looks from everyone in the office.
They're quality.
You really have to be quick off the mark and confident to blurt those ones out, not something for me!
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits eside him.After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the
courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear. "Do you want a b**w job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face, knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies." Something about a job."
if you are easily offended, don't read...
Whats better than winning gold in the Paralympics?
Having Legs.
What do u call an Epileptic in a Bush?
Russell.
Whats the good thing about fucking a ten year old?
If you slick his hair back, he looks like he's eight 
Whats better to clean up, a lorryspill of marbles, or a lorryspill of babies?
Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.
Re: Friday Afternoon Fun!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by sykadelik LMFAO @ those pickup lines. Now for something a bit more physical to keep you amused for the remainder of the day: While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I consider this to be very sketchy |
This is a good one.
Go in a club and see if you can find an attractive bird you like, then make sure she has an ugly friend with her.
Then go up to the ugly bird and say "Wanna Dance?"
She reply's "yeah ok"
You say "fuck off then so i can talk to yer mate"!
bit tight though
my mate actually did this in a club, and he got a slap!
Lammikins, you're truly rotten.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ M.G This is a good one. Go in a club and see if you can find an attractive bird you like, then make sure she has an ugly friend with her. Then go up to the ugly bird and say "Wanna Dance?" She reply's "yeah ok" You say "fuck off then so i can talk to yer mate"! bit tight though my mate actually did this in a club, and he got a slap! |
ROFL, that was class mate!
Are you the weakest link? Below are four (4) questions. You have
to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of
themimmediately.
OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready?
GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely
wrong!!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you
are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you
took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you
are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not very good at this are you?
Third Question: Very tricky math!
Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and
pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What
is the total? Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check
with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4.
Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary.
Read the question again.
Definately something to frustrate smart people 
Re: Friday Afternoon Fun!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by sykadelik LMFAO @ those pickup lines. Now for something a bit more physical to keep you amused for the remainder of the day: While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I consider this to be very sketchy |
whats the hardest part of a cabbage to eat?
the wheelchair
| quote: |
| Originally posted by sykadelik ROFL, that was class mate! Are you the weakest link? Below are four (4) questions. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of themimmediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are. Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question. Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not very good at this are you? Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right? Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again. Definately something to frustrate smart people |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dj_mdma i can now confirm that i am actually a retard |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Misty Kitty u needed to confirm that??? i already knew |
your ass next time i see you
hehe some more funny chat up comebacks.
Man: I'd give you one!
Woman : Piss off
Man: out of ten.
Man: You're fit!
woman: piss off
Man: for nothing but the kitchen!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dj_mdma hehe some more funny chat up comebacks. Man: I'd give you one! Woman : Piss off Man: out of ten. Man: You're fit! woman: piss off Man: for nothing but the kitchen! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dj_mdma Man: I'd give you one! Woman : Piss off Man: out of ten. |
note to self
NEVER EVER read a London TA thread when eating breakfast for fear of laughing it all over the room
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