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Posted by DJ-Fuq on Oct-05-2003 14:33:

Todays dd jokes

lol

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.
"What's the big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
"Why, that's a talking clock," the man replied.
"A gong is a talking clock? How does it work?"
"Watch this," the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering hit with the hammer.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's two o'clock in the morning!!"

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbequed ribs?"
I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, rock climbing?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No," I said. "I've never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a sh*t whether you live to be 80 or not?!"

Todays worst joke:

Q. Why do ducks have flat feet?
A. To stamp out forest fires.
Q. Why do elephants have flat feet?
A. To stamp out flaming ducks.

Posted by Trazedict on Oct-05-2003 16:58:

love the duck joke one of my faves :-D

Posted by Trancention on Oct-06-2003 08:23: