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-- I know this may sound sad but....
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I know this may sound sad but....

I was going to put this in the rant thread but changed my mind...

I have read on here that some of you have found that special person in another forum member. I was wondering how this worked out for those of you that did.

My problem is that a lot of stuff takes up my time (school, teaching, my other job, etc) and I have found it impossible to meet anyone in quite sometime. I've looked at all those online ads and such cause they worked once for me, but at this point in my life I need to find someone who likes to go out clubbing. Most of the people in those adds say they arent into the club scene, or dont care for electronic music, so no luck there.

When I do get a chance to go out (like to Armin on wed), even though I am in an environment surrounded by lots of girls, I just dont want to come off like one of those assholes in the club that girls always complain about. I have the hardest time approaching anyone.

Working with kids constantly I am not really surrounded by that many prospects. Time feels like it's passing by ever so quickly and there's no one in my life to share it with.

Maybe I'm just venting but I keep telling myself all of those tired cliches (the right person is out there, etc etc). I see all these couples together when I am at the club, I just want to be one of those people.

I dont even know why I wrote this post but it made me feel a little better to type out my frustrations. Can anyone relate to this? I read this message board the most so I figured this was a good a place as any to vent.

The ironic part is that the person I am looking for is someone I've probably seen when I go out clubbing. I just think that it's hard to be a nice guy and find the type of girl I want to be with.

I'm sure things will seem brighter in the morning. Thanks for listening....

hey....thats really awesome that you can talk about that kinda stuff on a public board. its cool....we are all here for your support. im prob the worst person to ask advice on relationships and all that stuff but i am a firm believer that everybody has a soul mate and if you be patient you will find that person. dont go looking for love cause it will find you. i know its hard and you feel like your wasting time and all but trust me, you will find that special somebody sooner or later.
hope this helps,
Brian

I feel your pain, I did try meeting someone I met online, it had potential, but I never let myself get committed because:

a. I felt that it wouldnt last
b. I just wanted some ass. This is the first time in my life I lead someone on cause I wanted ass, I felt guilty about it so I just cut the cord. I have not talked to this girl in over a month and she still keeps calling me - friggin' female stalkers.

Im definitely missing love in my life and my problem isnt being a nice guy, girls are 'afraid' of me because Im too nice. Its just a characteristic about myself I just cant change - Girls always dream of a guy 'like me' but when they meet one they tend to dismiss the person.

Ive given up on the search for female, I figure if one wants me, she will eventually find me - if not ill settle for a hooker to let out my pain.

One other thing is, Im incredibly dedicated to DJing, producting, and medical school. So time will be incredibly minimal. Im not a big club goer, I go when DJ's I like are playing - plus I need to have money or else I wont go at all. Money is another issue, being that I love music so much, most of my money goes towards my love [vinyls and equipment]. Another issue is Im not a very wealthy person anyway, neither are my parents - thats why I dont force the issue of driving a car as much as my sister does and friends do. I feel comfortable paying $2 to get me places.

Now your gonna say - If a girl really likes/loves you, she will support you in everything you do and wont care whether your rich or drive a car. Sorry guys, but thats the biggest crock of shit I hear - people are so materialistic nowadays is sickening. Im not gonna be a hypocrite, I like to dress nice and where expensive stuff also - we all do. But its just sickening to the extent to which people take it, If you dont drive a Benz and you dont have a wallet full of credit cards and cash, sorry your not for me

And another issue, Im not the sexiest guy in the world, Im not the fittest guy in the world, but I feel comfortable the way I am. Maybe when the day shall come that I meet a girl, and she ACCEPTS ME THE WAY I AM than I will think about loosing weight to look better for myself and especially her. I dont need to do anything for myself, Im cool, thanks, but I would do anything for the 1 I love just so she can look at me and be pleased to see me everyday - possibly for the rest of her life.

I could go on, but Im better at drowning my sorrow in a bottle of tequila.

nyers

There is this general concensous that living and dating in nyc sux!!...lol has anyone ever thought about the etiquette of meeting people on subways? or in stores? Myself as a girl dont even give most guys a chance in a club for obvious reasons...it sux but u gotta protect urself from the scumbags too...its a vicious cycle. casue the nice guys are out there they are just harder to see

See, Im a nice guy thats an attention seeker - I make myself seen intentionally. Im a very open person and like to have fun. Like I said though - In the words of the MTV show, you are "Dismissed"

quote:

Originally posted by Vlad I feel your pain, I did try meeting someone I met online, it had potential, but I never let myself get committed because: a. I felt that it wouldnt last b. I just wanted some ass.

ROLF!!!

^^^ yea i feel u man alot of the girls i know are all about the money but there are some out there that do care about the person and not what he has in his wallet, dont worry u will find one eventually

errr ...ummm..uhhhh hehe...go on guys ramble on....i want to hear more ....hehe

Naw I hear ya on the topic

but like Vlad, im focused on DJing and equipment and all that and I dont want to be spending money all on girls and shit. however, you know if a girl wants me she'll find me ( i tend to think tho that thats a crock of shit too) girls never make the first move so it really is only up to us guys.

But anyways if ur that desperate..adultfriendfinder.com.. hahaha. Ive never used this but my roomate has, and well, lets just say it kind of worked for him lol

quote:

Originally posted by Mebot girls never make the first move so it really is only up to us guys.

that's SO NOT TRUE!!!!

i chase men all the time!!!!

i'm all about equality.. none of this "courting" bs... if i want someone, i'll make it known.. not too aggressive but i ain't no sheep!!!

vlad- i will be the first to admit that i have been pretty spoiled all my life. but, honestly, most girls DON'T want someone who has money, but is lacking a personality. after meeting aaron, i can truly say that i would be happiest without all my material shit, as long as i had him. dont assume that every girl wants some famous, rich guy as her bf...i think the ones who arent filthy rich are the ones who can give a girl just what she wants.

and pvd420, don't get down in the dumps. i was the same way for a long time, i pretty much gave up on guys for awhile. my first boyfriend wasnt until i was 20, which just shows how every person is different and relationships come sooner for others. dont get down, like brian said (vtec), dont look for love....it will find you.

good luck!!

quote:

Originally posted by LuNaSeA that's SO NOT TRUE!!!! i chase men all the time!!!! i'm all about equality.. none of this "courting" bs... if i want someone, i'll make it known.. not too aggressive but i ain't no sheep!!!

Well what i meant to say was girls dont make the first move around me!

haha

Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by pvd420 I was going to put this in the rant thread but changed my mind... I figured this was a good a place as any to vent. The ironic part is that the person I am looking for is someone I've probably seen when I go out clubbing. I just think that it's hard to be a nice guy and find the type of girl I want to be with. I'm sure things will seem brighter in the morning. Thanks for listening....

It comes when your least looking for it. Be content and things will come to you


.... thats how I found my girl

Re: Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by pyro264jb It comes when your least looking for it. Be content and things will come to you .... thats how I found my girl

agreed! -- when you stop looking and stop worrying then bada-bing, girls will start popping up out of the woodwork (it's like they can smell the nervousness on you...)

John, you dont count, everyone finds you - your the walking meet up spot.

And towards Erin - remember hun, I live in NYC where money thrives. If you dont have it, your not getting any. This is probably a main reason why Ive lost alot of my friends over the years, because I cant afford to go out with them all the time.

yeah thats true....i was just in the city this weekend and i am already so broke. i really dont understand how people can afford to live there!!!

Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by pvd420 I was going to put this in the rant thread but changed my mind... I have read on here that some of you have found that special person in another forum member. I was wondering how this worked out for those of you that did. My problem is that a lot of stuff takes up my time (school, teaching, my other job, etc) and I have found it impossible to meet anyone in quite sometime. I've looked at all those online ads and such cause they worked once for me, but at this point in my life I need to find someone who likes to go out clubbing. Most of the people in those adds say they arent into the club scene, or dont care for electronic music, so no luck there. When I do get a chance to go out (like to Armin on wed), even though I am in an environment surrounded by lots of girls, I just dont want to come off like one of those assholes in the club that girls always complain about. I have the hardest time approaching anyone. Working with kids constantly I am not really surrounded by that many prospects. Time feels like it's passing by ever so quickly and there's no one in my life to share it with. Maybe I'm just venting but I keep telling myself all of those tired cliches (the right person is out there, etc etc). I see all these couples together when I am at the club, I just want to be one of those people. I dont even know why I wrote this post but it made me feel a little better to type out my frustrations. Can anyone relate to this? I read this message board the most so I figured this was a good a place as any to vent. The ironic part is that the person I am looking for is someone I've probably seen when I go out clubbing. I just think that it's hard to be a nice guy and find the type of girl I want to be with. I'm sure things will seem brighter in the morning. Thanks for listening....

Hi pvd420,

For me, what matters most is that I understand the other person, and that the other person understands me. Sometimes that may translate into liking the same types of music and going to the same types of places, but deep down what is at the core is how you make each other feel around each other, how the other person influences you to be more complete.

I agree that finding a long-term significant other at a club may seem unlikely and almost idealistic, but that doesn't mean it's out of the question. It's funny that life works in almost predictable way- when you stop thinking about someone, he/she shows up. But it's getting to that point that's difficult.

And it is true, not all girls are about the bling bling.. you just have to have a wealth of character and good sense.

Wow, im quite glad that i stumbled upon this topic. Well while we're pretty much all whineing may i add my feelings? Im 19, i guess maybe young to some of u guys, but man, i stil havnt had a decent relationship with any girls. Someone back up there said "if you dont look for love, it will find you" or something along the lines...the problem is im always looking. It seems to hav taken over my life, that im always scouting the area for ladies. I find that im really picky about girls, one day i will really like her, crave about her, the next the tinyest little thing will put me off her. when im out clubbing i never have the confidence to go and speak to girls, its a near soul destorying feeling for me, as i always see my chance slip away. Well, im not expecting an answer, coz im guessing this is a world reknown retorical question. It just feels nice to vent my fustration and get it all out of my system. Anyway, sorry for the intrusion on ur forum, im not even from US, even though im spending a year over here for my Gap year. Cheers.

Ooo, also whilst im here can anyone show me a place i can DL
Cern - The message, a truly wiked 100% trance song. Thx

Re: Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by spacechica And it is true, not all girls are about the bling bling.. you just have to have a wealth of character and good sense.

Do me a favor, grow a dick and a pair of nuts, dont drive a car nor have money - move to NY, than come find me - we will see how far "character" get you with out money and a car.

Re: Re: Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by Vlad Do me a favor, grow a dick and a pair of nuts, dont drive a car nor have money - move to NY, than come find me - we will see how far "character" get you with out money and a car.

LOL, man thats kinda harsh.

I can relate to what you guys are saying, I can never approach girls at a club (nor anywhere else) I'm a pussy. I feel like they will think " man you come here just to pick up girls" It sucks but yeah I see opportunities slip away all the time. I'm used to it. LOL

Re: Re: Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by Vlad Do me a favor, grow a dick and a pair of nuts, dont drive a car nor have money - move to NY, than come find me - we will see how far "character" get you with out money and a car.

Hmm.. I think what I meant was that most people who have a "wealth of character" usually aren't broke, because they have long-term goals?

In my opinion, girls typically aren't looking for guys who are rich... it doesn't hurt, but it's the integrity that counts. Who said you need a car in the city?

As for sex appeal, confidence (not arrogance) is way up there on my list.

quote:

Originally posted by LuNaSeA i chase men all the time!!!!

Yea... they are always running away from you, eh?

Re: Re: Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by Vlad Do me a favor, grow a dick and a pair of nuts, dont drive a car nor have money - move to NY, than come find me - we will see how far "character" get you with out money and a car.

Okay so maybe i'm from the DC area.. .. just one of the highest cost of living places in America.. so we're up there with you on money dude...... but don't be so bummed on money... I LOVED my husband.. i bought the house and the cars and everything.... I bared our children.. i've been raising our children... he now realizes how much he lost when he decided to choose being single over us...

i'm sorry to come from a bitter point of view.. i believe in love.. just been hurt way too hard that now i don't care too much about guys i date.. i'm scared to have feelings for someone else...even semi recently when i actually began to care about a guy i was seeing and he for no reason or explaination decided to completely kick me out of his life..ack i'm not helping this subject am i?

Umm... sometimes the person you love is right underneath your nose.. and its a real friend that you never thought you'd be with!.. and i've found that you can't look for love because it just happens and that real someone will love you through thick and thin.. even after you think they can't... and that person won't always be obvious.. but definitely a friend.. cuz lust isn't a marriage builder!

Re: Re: Re: Re: I know this may sound sad but....

quote:

Originally posted by arleetec LOL, man thats kinda harsh. I can relate to what you guys are saying, I can never approach girls at a club (nor anywhere else) I'm a pussy. I feel like they will think " man you come here just to pick up girls" It sucks but yeah I see opportunities slip away all the time. I'm used to it. LOL

if you cant approach a female at a club without them thinking you only go there to pick up chicks...then she isnt worth your time anyways. i hate chicks like that. i personally dont go to clubs just to pick up chicks but for a good rule of thumb....if you make eye contact with them and they smile at you....then they are pretty approachable. it also helps if your a good dancer

well i am back and i must say it was really nice to read all of the responses to my post yesterday. it's nice to know that i am not the only one that feels at times that finding the right person can seem hopeless.

besides the supportive responses i figured i'd get from here, the other reason i posted in this forum was because clubbing and trance is my biggest passion in life, as it seems to be with many of you. after all we are all tranceaddicts...

if i was younger i dont think i would let this bother me so much. my problem is that i am 25 going on 26 soon. time feels like it is passing me by ever so quickly. college was fun, but i was in a relationship (my last one) for 2 years of it and that didnt work out. i was glad for what i had, but at the same time it feels like i did waste some time that i could have been meeting a lot of people instead of being in a semi long distance relationship.

i tell myself the "be content and love will find you" quote all the time. it's just been a really, really long time. 1 person has shown interest in almost 2 years. it's hard not to feel lonely.

i think what bothers me the most is that i am constantly hearing from girls is what they want in a guy. someone who will cuddle (probably the #1 thing), someone who is into all the lovey dovey stuff. to tell you the truth, that's what i miss the most from my last relationship. getting ass is nice, but i think it's better to have someone.

on a side note about the approaching thing at the club. when i go out, i go out to dance and have a good time, first and foremost. well needless to say i work up a sweat. i know it's silly but i feel like if i was a girl i wouldnt want some sweaty guy trying to dance with me. i dunno.

anyways thanks for your responses. things didnt exactly look any brigher today but it did feel good to know that there is support here when i need it. i havent been posting for too long on here but i have enjoyed my time here. i will have to make it to one of the meetups in the near future. you guys seem like a great bunch of people.

-colin

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