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story telling: so whats next
so im sittin here and im thinkin how creative are the au.ta massive
lets start a story, im bored and procastinating
one day a dog was barking loudly at a tree stump and.....
a car driven by jamie oliver runs the dog over...
s obig bird jumps out and lays an egg
and causes him to spill his coke all over his girlfriends...
bright purple dishwasher.
the dog fly kicks jamie
who kills the dog and serves it in a good marinade for big bird
suddenly the purple dishwasher transforms itself into Fidel Castro.
Then fidel casto takes out 3 cuban cigars. The first he jammed up jamie olivers wanky pompous english ass. He then jams 2 more up jamies nose. Jamie is now rolling around on the ground saying stupid shit like he always does. While saying anything the first thing that comes to his mind in his annoying shitty accent.
Fidel is laughing hysterically, and then says "IN COMMUNIST CUBA, CIGARS SMOKE YOU!".
shit jamie oliver is annoying
whom at the time is driving an 20 wheeled kiyak along the motorway at 80 miles an hour.. castro stops gets out and asks some random bird how many pancakes would it take to cover the hubcap.. to which he answers none - as icecream has no chunky bits! 
20 minutes later, Castro lights a bushfire using his beard and a toothpick.
The fire spreads to Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be kissing a turtle at the time.
a highway patrolman pulls up and asks castro what he is doing talking to a pole in his underpants to which he replies "im trying to find my way to little red riding hoods house"
the officer looks at him and laughs "man your obviously in the wrong place, cause im trying to take a shit here and your chest keeps getting in the way"
the policeman then teabags fidel who bites his nutsack off
and the policeman, not knowing that fidels nutsack was poisoness suddenly dies, then fidel ate the policemans nutsack.......
.. and to their surprise near the bush, marilyn monroe spots Buzz Aldrin teaching Michael Jackson how to do the real moonwalk, when suddenly Michael Jacksons nose...
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Anomyst and the policeman, not knowing that fidels nutsack was poisoness suddenly dies, then fidel ate the policemans nutsack....... |
one day a dog was barking loudly at a tree stump and a car driven by jamie oliver runs the dog over. sobig bird jumps out and lays an egg and causes him to spill his coke all over his girlfriends bright purple dishwasher. the dog fly kicks jamie who kills the dog and serves it in a good marinade for big bird. suddenly the purple dishwasher transforms itself into Fidel Castro. whom at the time is driving an 20 wheeled kiyak along the motorway at 80 miles an hour.. castro stops gets out and asks some random bird how many pancakes would it take to cover the hubcap.. to which he answers none - as icecream has no chunky bits!
Then fidel casto takes out 3 cuban cigars. The first he jammed up jamie olivers wanky pompous english ass. He then jams 2 more up jamies nose. Jamie is now rolling around on the ground saying stupid shit like he always does. While saying anything the first thing that comes to his mind in his annoying shitty accent.
Fidel is laughing hysterically, and then says "IN COMMUNIST CUBA, CIGARS SMOKE YOU!".
20 minutes later, Castro lights a bushfire using his beard and a toothpick.
The fire spreads to Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be kissing a turtle at the time... a highway patrolman pulls up and asks castro what he is doing talking to a pole in his underpants to which he replies "im trying to find my way to little red riding hoods house"
the officer looks at him and laughs "man your obviously in the wrong place, cause im trying to take a shit here and your chest keeps getting in the way"
the policeman then teabags fidel who bites his nutsack off, and the policeman, not knowing that fidels nutsack was poisoness suddenly dies, then fidel ate the policemans nutsack... and to their surprise near the bush, marilyn monroe spots Buzz Aldrin teaching Michael Jackson how to do the real moonwalk, when suddenly Michael Jacksons nose turns into a hideous gelatinous monster!!!
(...god damn this is a fkn wicked story!)
the monster suddenly implodes and causes hillary clinton, who at the time was playing quake3 against coffee banana, to scream at the top of her lungs "we have no more bananas!!"
So anyway, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to number three, medium brown. I tied an onion to my belt, as was the style at the time.
I contemplated at just how wierd and fucked up my previous dream was and then BOOM! we hit world war 3!
the bombs were a flyin'! Being the resourceful guy I am, I had built a shelter in the backyard just in case this kind of thing would happen. I rushed to get me wife out of bed, so we could retreat to safety when suddenly, just as I opened the door to our bedroom....
AND THERE WAS BILL CLINTON IN BED WITH MY WIFE!!!!
so i tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time... bill said it was for the good of the nation, so i ran down to the bunker in the yard when BOOM! a bomb hit my house.... i truly was for the good of the nation...
it finally hit me that this bomb was not real, as coffee banana reminded me that it was just a video game called "Quake 3". Very soon the yellow printer started getting jealous of the purple diswasher which to their surprise, was now an onion and not even a dishwasher *WOOAHH* . This was all to much for Mr Clinton who instructed that someone ought to hide him in a lava lamp
Lucky the warhead wasn't nuclear, just chemical. It gave me a healthy green glow.
Bill Clinton on the other hand, man that guy was tripping out. Hair falling out and everything.
quake 3 got boring so i went outside and found my dog Winston barking at the back shed... i went inside and was amazed that my 18 year old brother had built a fully functional Stargate for his HSC..... so we dialed in P3-4842 (because thats where they make chuppa chups)
we arrived and i used my photon phaser i bought off eBay to scan for P3.TA's....
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