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One liners
post ur best one liners that uve made up thru the years
ill go first
im out like the fat kid in dodgeball
im outtie like a belly button
used to get stoned at recess for no reason like jesus gettin charged with treason
this joint has been passed around more times then a slut on new years!
well, i'll just say the ones i actually use
eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
i had the blues because i had no shoes, until upon the street i met a man who had no feet.
i'll put up some more when i remember them.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Abject Silver early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. |
why dont u just wrap your legs around my head so i can wear you like a feed bag
"sweating like a ****** eating a hotdog" is a personal favorite
i'm out like a boner in sweatpants
I'm sweating like a ....
whore in church
pedophile on a playground
etc ...
Yes I know, they're very wrong ...
stupid people can't help being stupid, but they shouldn't do stupid things.
peace out cub scout.
like a midget at a urinal, i was going to have to keep on my toes.
errRr..
"[some really $hiteyy thing] sucks so much ass that even homos fear it ..."
| quote: |
| Originally posted by daffodil like a midget at a urinal, i was going to have to keep on my toes. |
I'm out like *insert person your talking too's name* and the closet.
You're the disease, I'm the cure.
Emil
I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more [insert thing ur talking about]...like cowbell, or beer, or fap fap fap.
I'm gonna take off like a prom dress.
well suck me sideways, thats great.
she's so fat she fell in love & broke it.
Well slap me with a silly costume and call me Po, it's [insert name here]
shits and giggles
Some mother******s are always trying to ice-skate uphill
Best one liner ever 
one's I have come to use over the years:
"That's about as funny as loosing your wallet."
"I'm sweating like a paedophile in a nursery."
"Your about as cool Pat Sharp in an oven."
"Your about as attractive as 2 positively charged magnets."
I've got a nine inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.
If you've ever been in the military, you'd know about the 6inch rule, as part of anti-harassment issues...... and so...
"6 inch rule... 12 inch tool."
others I've used:
"may i have a sip of your tasty beverage to wash this down?"
"what the whojemafuck?"
"excuse me while I go feed my ant-colony"
"do you have shit for brains? because I smell poo"
"get off your ass, make like a fuck and hand yourself"
"yuck fou"
That was about as funny/interesting/smart as my left nut.
Strong as an ox and half as smart.
Strong as a boot and half as tasty [when referring to bad coffee, whisky, etc.]
that sod is so dumb, he couldnt pour piss out of a shoe with the instructions printed on the sole.
if i wanted to be bored shitless, id watch brookside.
It ain't much if it ain't Dutch 
Suck me, beautiful!
Will you control your life, or will your life control you?
C'mon Bryce. There are much more important problems than Sri Lanka, to worry about.
Bryce:
Like what?
Patrick Bateman:
Well we have to end apartheid for one, slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism, and world hunger, we have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. most importantly we have to promote general social concern, and less materialism and help people.
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