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-- quality joke!

Posted by Big Lil on Nov-03-2003 13:03:

quality joke!

SIPPING VODKA

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "Whem I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1.. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2.. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3.. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4.. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5.. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6.. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7.. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8.. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9.. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10.. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11.. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .

12.. The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.

13.. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14.. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Posted by Ajay on Nov-03-2003 14:43:

roffle woffle!

Posted by Hequn on Nov-03-2003 19:38:

haha now that is funny

Posted by dr me on Nov-03-2003 21:35:

man that was a good laugh

Posted by DarkAngel on Nov-16-2003 17:10:

LMFAO

Posted by razzi on Nov-16-2003 19:41:

Re: quality joke!

quote:
Originally posted by Big Lil
9.. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

hahahah funny shit

Posted by Shad0wmaster on Nov-16-2003 23:29:

ROFLMFAO

Posted by DjObscene on Nov-17-2003 01:37:

LOL

Posted by St�phanie on Nov-17-2003 03:11:

quote:
13.. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.