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Posted by Dj DrEaMz on Nov-03-2003 22:38:

Nightmare

Hey!...This is my first time writing on this forum and might be my last.

Well let me get right down to it. I have been a long-time listener to almost ALL forms of "Techno"...Trance, House, Dance, Gabber, Hardcore, Softcore...ECT!!!! Mostly my life has always been ALL about the TRANCE...i ever started creating music. I even got out with an albumn...Dj DrEaMz - Nightmare...but life has never been completely whole.
I was diagnosed with ADHD around March of 2003...i take adderall for medication. In other words I NEVER GET SLEEP!!!!...especially when listening to any thing with a beat. I would try to get sleep, but before i knew it my foot or hand would be tapping to a beat...and song would get stuckin my head in a repeated loop.
The Adderall will make EVERYTHING just so much more...uh..."clear"... to me. I would start noticing people around me. How much of an idiot almost every person, in their own way, is. i would start to see the WHOLE picture that almost everyone, in this world, is obsoulete. i would start feeling upset...sad...depressed. But lately i have been thinking. Am i the one really depressed or is almost everyone else that way and they are just not showing it.
I would just not say anything and wonder if people would notice. No-one cares! A few friends of mine would ask "whats wrong?" I just would be like "nothing."
What type of world is this? where has all this come from? Where do i go? what can i do?
I feel so alone in this world. When i am with my girlfriend...by the way i am a junior(11th grade) and my girlfriend is a Freshman(9th grade)...I feel like nothing can go wrong in this harsh world. before her i felt so SO SO SO alone. If one was to meet my girlfriend, Vic, they would say that she is the chick version of me, just not all at the same time...REALLY hard to explain. When i am away from her for a long time. MAN OH MAN do i get depressed. I just feel like i want...no ...NEED someone there to give me a hug or somthing. I get really sad.
I realized its not just her that i get sad about when i feel alone. i HATE my dad, plus he's never around. My bro is off at college, my sis is never home ...takes tap dancin or somthin...my mom doesnt get home till WAY late at night,,,so late that i eat dinner at 10:00 at night. I get lonely...i feel like no one understands..,like no one cares...so i go and hide,,,listen to Music...Trance...to try to get away from this place on earth...bored out of my mind...i have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!!!
Can anyone help? Is there anyone out there who has gone through this. who feels or felt like me? AM I ALONE???

dj dreamz
Dj DrEaMz'Z HoMe

Posted by Vivid Boy on Nov-03-2003 22:47:

everyone feels alone....just fuckin work out or something..i dunno everyone finds their own way to cope with their shit...ur too young to be worried abt all this shit go out have fun live ur life worry abt this shit when u get older man

Posted by Chris Crossland on Nov-03-2003 22:58:

^^WE AHVE THE SAME MONITOR

I take zoloft

Posted by Vivid Boy on Nov-03-2003 22:59:

PICS OR STFU!

Posted by DrUg_Tit0 on Nov-03-2003 23:02:

Re: Nightmare

quote:
Originally posted by Dj DrEaMz
Am i the one really depressed or is almost everyone else that way and they are just not showing it.
[/URL]

Nah, many people are depressed, but most aren't.

Now I've been of much help, haven't I?

Posted by Orbax on Nov-03-2003 23:13:

why hallo there buttsekz lolol!!1!

Posted by Chris Crossland on Nov-03-2003 23:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
PICS OR STFU!

Posted by Vivid Boy on Nov-03-2003 23:39:

WE HAVE THE SAME MONITOR!!!

Posted by St�phanie on Nov-04-2003 00:02:

First of all, i got to say that it is totally normal for you to feel depressed at your age. Between to ages of 15 and 20 every one goes through a period where they feel as if "no one understands how you feel"... The most important thing for you to realise is that IT WILL PASS. This is not a permenant feeling. If you feel great with your GF then spend time with her. But if this feeling of sadnest gets worst, then dont feel shy about talking to a social worker at school and as for your friends, chances are some of them are going through the same shit u are.

Dont even think no one cares, cause there is ALWAYS someone who does.

Posted by Fast Turtle on Nov-04-2003 00:59:

the adderall shouldn't cause you to not sleep. Adderall is amphetamine and dextramphetamine and something else, kind of like ephedra. If you don't have ADHD and take it, it'll make you hyper as fuck, like someone on methamphetamines. The point is in ADHD, your brain is functioning too much, so you need more activity to keep it all busy...the stimulants do this so you can think clearer.

Amphetamines can fuck up the dopamine and seritonin balance in your brain, too. I'd recommend you stop taking them for a while, though they are very addictive, so you may wanna just slowly ease off of them if you decide to try.

Posted by whiskers on Nov-04-2003 01:41:

Re: Nightmare

quote:
Originally posted by Dj DrEaMz
The Adderall will make EVERYTHING just so much more...uh..."clear"... to me. I would start noticing people around me. How much of an idiot almost every person, in their own way, is. i would start to see the WHOLE picture that almost everyone, in this world, is obsoulete. i would start feeling upset...sad...depressed. But lately i have been thinking. Am i the one really depressed or is almost everyone else that way and they are just not showing it.
I would just not say anything and wonder if people would notice. No-one cares! A few friends of mine would ask "whats wrong?" I just would be like "nothing."

that's pretty much what i feel like most of the time, but i haven't been diagnosed with anything (haven't gone to a doctor) and don't do drugs / medicine / alcohol / etc.

i'm think people that feel this way make up around 3-4% of the population. let me ask you a question - was there any major event in this life that lead to this? or a series of smaller events, maybe.

and the part where you have songs looping in your head, i sometimes have that too, and ironically, depressing songs are the ones that seem to get stuck in my head longer, making me depressed. sigh.

Posted by astroboy on Nov-04-2003 03:09:

Keep yourself busy and give yourself some goals.. take up a sport.

Martial arts are great in that respect.

Posted by Dj DrEaMz on Nov-04-2003 03:55:

thax for all the help everyone...especially whiskers. I have been thinking about so much of this. thank you all...!!! i dont take my adderall on the weekends and when monday and tuesday and wednesday comes around...it makes me pretty much ... well crazy. i cant sleep very well till about thursday or fri...when i stop on the weekends i have to start all over on the weekdayz...it'll get old and dive one a little out there.
i'll check bak later to see if ne more replies are put up.

thanx again

Dj DrEaMz
Dj DrEaMz'Z HoMe

Posted by J.L. on Nov-04-2003 08:37:

trust me... this period of "depression" will get over.. every teen experiences it... i experienced it.. and got over it

just a warning though, don't count on your girlfriend to solve ALL your problems... she may ease the pain... but that's about all she can do...

Sports are an excellent way to relieve this sort of feeling... Join your basketball team, do martial arts, go to the gym.. whatever... Participating in sports make your body secrete natural hormones that will help you feel a lot better inside and outside plus you get healthier too... Also, if you release your energy doing sports, it will make you sleep better...

just a word of advice...
btw, i went thru a similar experience... caused by a girl breaking up with me... i got over it... you'll get over it... believe me