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Change.

Reflections of the past have been resting heavily on my mind recently, and I thought about regrets and changes.

If on the off chance you could somehow change one thing in your life (realizing that the changing of this one thing could result in null and void of many things that followed), would you? What would you change?

Don't be afraid of showing your feelings, be afraid of regretting it when you don't.


It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.



that's pretty much it.

quote:

Originally posted by whiskers Don't be afraid of showing your feelings, be afraid of regretting it when you don't. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. that's pretty much it.

I'm impressed!

I didn't mean it like I personally regret things. My roommate came to me bawling her eyes out, which made me ponder on things, which ended with me wondering if anyone actually does regret something? Or wish they could change something?

I regret the things I didn't do, and none of the things that I did.

I wouldn't change a thing. My past is part of who I am, and there's no one I'd rather be.

Best Wishes,

Arbiter

i don't regret anything, instead i take everything that i have done wrong and learn from it. I love who i am now and if i would have changed something from the past perhaps i wouldn't be the same person?

quote:

Originally posted by wienerschnitzel i don't regret anything, instead i take everything that i have done wrong and learn from it. I love who i am now and if i would have changed something from the past perhaps i wouldn't be the same person?

But doesn't your answer presuppose that you had a regret in the first place so that you had something from which to learn a lesson?

I think regret is merely the realization that we can be a better person. Therefore, it�s the realization that you do have regrets that makes you the person that you are, not that you don�t have regrets.

quote:

Originally posted by Nosmo I regret the things I didn't do, and none of the things that I did.

Thats nonsense, we just tell ourselves that so we don't feel bad about wasting the little time we have here on earth.

You never regretted calling someone a bad name at an inapproriate time or, regretted going to pay to see the matirix III, or perhaps you told some girl something else then you wanted to and that you thought of later. These are all things you do, and yet regret.. and these are just small example, life is full of little insignificant things you regret, the bigger ones we call sins

I for one regret not having the guts to invest all my money in the stock exchange back in in the 96-98 period when it was just booming. I had the money, I had the will, I had the knowledge, I just did not have the age (under 18) and simply was to lazy and a coward to do it... Of course if I had done that I probably would have regretted not pulling out before 2001.

Yep, I agree with you and came to that realization between my first and second posts. But I hate editing posts so I left it.

i just made a huge ass out of myself recently and am now feeling pretty rejected, but i dont regret doing what i did, at least i can have some closure now and move on, change is a very good thing.

quote:

Originally posted by Nosmo I regret the things I didn't do, and none of the things that I did.

you guys are so philosophical. you'd make socrates proud...

quote:

Originally posted by Nosmo But doesn't your answer presuppose that you had a regret in the first place so that you had something from which to learn a lesson? I think regret is merely the realization that we can be a better person. Therefore, it�s the realization that you do have regrets that makes you the person that you are, not that you don�t have regrets.

i can point things out like stealing 5$ from my mom's wallet or crawling out my window and smoking weed at 3 in the morning when i was 14, and i knew those things were wrong, therefore they were mistakes. However, i wouldn't change that now because the guilt from smoking alot of weed when i was 14 put me off weed forever by the time i was 15 which I think is a good thing for me. Also, i have learned from that guilt not to take money from my parent's wallet because i love them too much and the guilt wasn't worth it, which perhaps would have prevented me from doing something worse in the future. Im not suggesting that i am perfect, or some kind of role model, i merely stated that i am quite content with the way i am and i would not change things from the past if i could.

I hope you don�t think I was accusing you of being disingenuous. I was merely contemplating the meaning of "regret" to a greater extent and how its not necessarily a bad thing. I see your point and I think it counters nicely the one made by Yoepus.

w00t!

quote:

Originally posted by Nosmo I regret the things I didn't do, and none of the things that I did.

This is actually a proverb - I try not to regret the things I didn't do either, but for me, that holds the most meaning of any posts in this thread.

Sure, I've done some stupid things. If I could repeat the events of the past, I would definitely change a lot of decisions that the "old" me made.

But that's not regret, that's just hindsight. Nobody lives their life to perfection. Regret is to feel sorry for yourself - and dwelling on the past only wastes time you could be using to live the present and plan the future. I'm not a believer in reincarnation, but if you can imagine such a thing - living a new life over and over again through eternity with different choices and never making all the right ones - perhaps it's a model for how there simply are no right choices in life?

No regrets, ever. Even if I end up alone on the street begging for scraps, I'm not going to regret the choices I made. They're my choices, it's my life, and there's no way of knowing what the outcome would have been if I'd made a different choice. Maybe I'd have been a billionaire. Or maybe I'd have been dead. Who knows?

There are times though, when I can't help but feeling shitty about things I didn't do. "It's too late" are some of the worst words you can ever hear, and they appear often in differing forms. So there are times I wish I'd had a little more confidence or get-up-and-go, but then I remember, this is who I am. Maybe if I'd taken that job offer or asked that girl out, I'd have been happy for a month, and miserable for the rest of my life. The more people I talk to, the clearer it becomes that everybody has their problems, no matter how well they hide them, and chances are I'm no better off with the choices I could have made than with the choices I did make.

But if you're patient, something will usually come along that shows you the value of your choices. I can't say what form it will take, but it will come; something that really does make you happy, and make you realize that the uniqueness of your "bad" choices are what made it all possible.

/.02

i'd be rich or have super powers!... i think i'd rather have super powers... i'd be like juggernaut cept i could fly!! weeeeeee!!

quote:

Originally posted by MERTON i'd be rich or have super powers!... i think i'd rather have super powers... i'd be like juggernaut cept i could fly!! weeeeeee!!

I recommend you set your expectations lower... for starters, try someone with an IQ above room temperature.

what? i was talking about super power..not trying someone.... very

quote:

Originally posted by MERTON what? i was talking about super power..not trying someone.... very

I rest my case.

i regret that people are stupid and get entangled in things they shouldnt out of some romanticized idea of what life, love, family, relationships, work, etc... should be like. Everyone wants to hop in a car they adore, drive to a job they love, and come home to a perfect mate that took all the first steps and blew your mind away.

Heres a little realism for you. 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the people you meet arent going to be the "one", technically speaking. So why people expend SO MUCH FUCKING effort on people they KNOW, THEY KNOW will disappoint them later down the road. They become attached as hell to someone who deserves a cursory glance at best.


Im not gonna list a whole bunch of situations, but too many people are miserable because they put their faith in mankind, or in themselves, or in material things. They put devotion and love where it is not asked for or appreciated, and then get hurt when they are rebuffed, and their kind actions go unnoticed.


Wake up people, humanity is a writhing mass of filth, and there are only a few good people out there. Unforunately the good people will never shine through because they are shy. They think that itll be like the movies where someone instantly recognizes teh goodness of their heart and will appreciate them for "who they are" whatever that means. You will only be happy by immediately making your opinions known, your tastes, interests, likes and dislikes.

Trust me, they wont. Get your shy ass out there, or quit bitching about how people are morons, cruel, and heartless. Fact is, youre right, but nothins ever gonna change unless you go out there. Like they said in Boondock Saints. It isnt the evil of bad men we should fear, but the inaction of good people.

and with that cynical post of the day, good luck.

edit*

the reason i bring this up is because I think that entanglements (most especially with other people, but also with things, ideologies, and places) are the cause of regret. It isnt because you asked a girl out and she said no that hurts you, it is because you were fantasizing about a breathy, YES, and pondering holding her hand, or putting your arm around her as you watched a TV- a relaxed couple past the shitty first stages. It because that thought was the motivation behind your asking that it hurt so much when they said no.

also works in the negative. You regret NOT asking because you get the fantasy of what a horrible "OH MY GOD YOU AHHAHAHAHHAA" would be like, and you get married to that idea of how horrible its going to be.

Too many preconceptions, too much ignorance sparking poor judgments. It sounds like a contradiction but learn more about the world and then dont think so much. this should be your chain of thought "Shes hot, im gonna ask her out" with legs walking as you finish that thought.

should NOT be you going home and planning to be there that same day next week at the same club at the same time and IFFFFF she is there stand close to her and try to look cool so she ....blah blah blah. Youll be disappointed when some drunk jerk like me walks up to her, points to a group of friends and tells her to go sit down and lemme buy her a drink. And she will walk out of your life, laughing all the way MUAHAHAHA.

whoa side track. Moral(s) of story:

1) Know your world through your experiences. What has worked, what hasnt. If lacking in experience, get some.
2) Dont think so much. You probably arent that smart anyways (i know im not)
3) You are ugly. so is everyone else.
4) you will probably never have an enzo ferrari. Learn to appreciate the things you have.
5) Find the reason to be happy with what you have and then strive for more without leaving the things you have (friends, family, cars, computers, and kids) wanting for lack of maintenance. More concisely- Maintain the things you have and you wont waste massive amounts of time and energy later fixing them to a state that will never be as good as it was originally because you forgot the small stuff.
6) dont sweat the small stuff. Big things are made of little things, but that doesnt mean that you lose sight of the big picture.
7) Dont listen to people who have this much free time

now, im gonna go read

oh and
8) drink alcohol.

cheers.

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax and with that cynical post of the day, good luck.

Cynical is right, heh.

You're right about everyone just sitting on their ass and waiting around for "love" or "the one" to find them. And it is in human nature to follow after the ones "THEY KNOW" will hurt them.

quote:

It isnt the evil of bad men we should fear, but the inaction of good people.

Sometimes the "good" in people just doesn't have enough energy or want anymore to come out. Most of the time a "good" person will put themselves out there, but after being bashed down to the ground multiple times, they want to just hide away in solitude in all attempts to avoid ridicule or hurt. This may not be the appropriate action to take, but unfortunately, it happens.

quote:

Im not gonna list a whole bunch of situations, but too many people are miserable because they put their faith in mankind, or in themselves, or in material things. They put devotion and love where it is not asked for or appreciated, and then get hurt when they are rebuffed, and their kind actions go unnoticed.

This is true.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut I rest my case.

what case? i just made a comment about how i wish i had super powers and then all of the sudden you start talking about setting my sites on someone... i wasn't talking about going after someone you dunce! pay attention!

i edited some more

I actually havent had the misfortune to experience most of these things. I am just constantly surrounded by people who dont even realize that they are miserable. For some reason everyone comes to me with their problems, hehe. A friend just broke up with his girl and said he envied me (hes 10 years older than me) because I am so good at so many things. He has literally had girlfriends non stop since 14 (16 years) and this guy hasnt ever had spare time.

I on the other hand well lets just say i have a couple hundred scuba dives under my belt, pilots lessons, 8 years of rock climbing, i throw knives, etc..

And of course he hates all of his ex's. so what does he have to show for all that? Bitterness ranks up there with the most tangible. Same thing with cars. I know people whove dumped 45 grand into the lexus is300 and then get smoked by WRXs. This guy lives in the slums and has this kind of car. and he wonders why he doesnt have any money, and is pissed about it and bitter.

just all about expectations I guess. I think it was perfectly stated in Hot Shots

Charlie Sheen reading "Great Expectations"
man - "How is it?"
charlie (disappointed) "wasnt everything i thought it would be"

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax I know people whove dumped 45 grand into the lexus is300 and then get smoked by WRXs.

I also think regret is when later on your realize the signs that had been pointing you towards the disasterous ending all along and how you chose to ignore them, continuing on your merry way of false idealism and hope in the relationship.

Once you realize your mistakes, however, you are then free to guard yourself from making the same in the future. Everyone is in a state of misery now a days because no one appreciates anything. Upset because you don't have the latest in software equipment? Be happy you own a computer and not a typewriter! Pissed off that you cannot afford that new Evo? What if you had to walk to work or school?

Wishing for change is when something is left unsaid or undone, hence then bringing about the regret issue. But if we change one thing, would everything else be the same? Or would you become a completely different person?

IMO, the tragedies are what makes someone human, alive. With each heartbreak, each death, each downfall, one appreciates things differently. With heartbreak, everything is horrible for a while, but then when things get better, they just get that much better. Death, although you're in pain and mourning, makes you appreciate life a little more. Downfalls make you appreciate the up times.

Don't take life for granted. Live it. Take chances. At least make some sort of an attempt to gain happiness. Opportunity is not going to knock if you're not searching for the door.

exactly. Like i just got my faith in God reaffirmed this morning. I was walking to the bathroom to take a piss and the side to a computer case was propped against the tower in the hallway (upstairs is a bit of a server room at the moment hehe) and I SLAMMED my toe into the corner of it. Thank God for nails. seriously. If it hadnt hit that tiny little area that is my toenail it would gouged into me deep. As it is it shredded my nail pretty good.

I was like "HA! eat that evolutionists who say some day we wont have nails!"

I also am still healing from my naked fall on the pavement wearing bear slippers. A constant reminder to me that life is ridiculous and you shouldnt take it seriously. because it sure as hell doesnt take YOU seriously

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