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depression?? how to get over it? help please

Hi! I'm a freshmen in college now, and i've been depressed for over 2 years now... Well during my whole life i've been a shy and introverted guy, a person who has low confidence and very low self esteem. In junior year i met this one girl, and she was an angel to me. She taught me many things including giving myself more confidence and self esteem in myself. Eventually we started dating and became girlfriend/boyfriends. After abuot 5 months, her feelings started to infatuate while mine only grew stronger and eventually i broke it off, knowing she had no guts to... Ever since then, i started to have low confidence and low self esteem again, worse even.....Its been over 2 years now and here i am writing this message, still in depression and lingering over the past. Whenever i try to contact her or just give a friendly hi she would always blow me off (hahaha she must relaly hate me).. It was the same girl who showed so much care for me and love ..who now hates me...not to mention found a new lover in her life. I've been watching her fall in love with another guy and it really tore me up, i couldnt study sleep eat or anything..I haven't received any medication yet but i think i should, my depression is only growing stronger; i thought time would heal itself but its obviously not..

I was just wondering if u guys or gurls who has been from a crushed relationship, knows any remedies?? thanks alot and sorry to bore u with my long post!! hehe

yea kinda know whatcha mean bro...i just broke up with my girl of 5 years about a month ago...and we did everything together...fawk we even had plans to get married...but i think what you need is to go out and meet girls thats what ive been doin and chillin with da boys...really do anything but dwell on the fact that you broke up (even though 2 years is kinda of a lot man)...





.dJonE.

IMO we all go through relationships such as those that don't last but we learn from them and eventually move on. What I'm trying to say is that even though you think she's the one and only girl out there for you, you're going to eventually meet another one like her or even better than her. How many people end up marrying the first girl/boy they fall in love with? Very few. Getting over a person is hard indeed, definetly easier said than done, but talking about it with friends and eventually meeting other people will help you to.

You also gotta look at the bright side of things (I know lots of people say this and it sounds like bullshit but it's good advice). You can't let one thing get you depressed. If you have other problems it hurts, but you didn't mention any so i'm assuming you don't have any other major ones. Go out with friends, enjoy life, and I think good things will come to you.

And about having low confidence, I have this problem as well but I think it's a matter of just not thinking about things too much. Too many people have a problem with doubting themselves and thinking things won't turn out right. Sometimes you just have to try things and you'll see that they work out even when you didn't think they would.

Hope I was of some help...

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...ession+analysis


TA is definently a community to share this with. it really helped me cope and i learned about a lot of people's conflicts and i hope this link helps. the file within the thread has just about everything i'll ever need to fall back on in case i despair again.

I remember reading this thread a while back, & it just blew me away...

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...threadid=101714

5 HTP

quote:

Originally posted by Essential1 I remember reading this thread a while back, & it just blew me away... http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...threadid=101714

I remember that, definetly a good read.

I myself think that there's so many depressed people out there and it's tough to talk about it but places like here on TA offer a place that people can talk about their depression and get help from others. Shows that this is a wonderful community and that other people really do care and want to help.

shit, i didn't see djslain posted the same link as me...

Some sort of depression affects everyone, and some people might eventually get clinically depressed. If it has been going on for two years, you might want to consult a doctor.

quote:

Originally posted by anuneventrade Some sort of depression affects everyone, and some people might eventually get clinically depressed. If it has been going on for two years, you might want to consult a doctor.

doctors are useless, or some of them are. Ask your doctor for a reference to a psychiatrist. I think they are free if you have public health care like here in canada. If that doesnt work, you could also see a psychologist.

But take the advice from the people here first There are people who go through the same or similar thing. Its a large board so many people have similar experiences that doctors may not have

sounds similar to problems I had up until this summer.

My gf (whom I loved very much) left me, and it really messed me up. I was suicidal at times. Even before that, I found myself to be quite depressed a lot of the time. Quiet, shy, and keeping to myself.

I know the feeling dude, what you described is basically what I went through... but she hasn't dated any guys since, so I guess I am lucky. Thinking about her with another guy is a discouraging thought, but I feel prepared to deal with it when the time comes. I still love her... because I believe there is only love and hate. And I don't hate her - she was one of the greatest things to happen to me.

I later discovered I suffered from chronic depression. I was put on drugs, and now things are much better

I'm not suggesting drugs can fix everything. You need to make lifestyle changes. You need to force yourself to talk to people.

I would suggest seeing your doctor, and try out some anti-depressants like Celexa (but this stuff if expensive... a month's worth costs me $50cad... luckily I now have drug benefits).

Just try it out. NOTE: Anti-depressants don't kick in for several weeks. Usually they aren't in full effect for 8 weeks, so don't expect immediate results.

And, make lifestyle changes. I think you need to find a new girl to focus on. But, whatever you do... don't talk about the ex-gf. I did, and it fucked things over for me with this great girl.

Get involved with school stuff. Sounds kind of lame - but I am now president of my school's drama crew, and I love it. And there's lots of great girls involved as well.

quote:

Originally posted by Dmatrox doctors are useless, or some of them are. Ask your doctor for a reference to a psychiatrist. I think they are free if you have public health care like here in canada. If that doesnt work, you could also see a psychologist. But take the advice from the people here first There are people who go through the same or similar thing. Its a large board so many people have similar experiences that doctors may not have

I was talking about a psychiatrist. If you go to your primary doctor they normally make a referral to go to the psychiatrist.

My advice, would be to try and move on with your life (as crazy and unbelievable as it may seem). Perhaps surround yourself in a new environment? Get a new hobby. Jogging works wonders for me. When I'm stressed, or depressed, I just throw on my shoes and run till I can barely move. Feels good, painful, and clears your head out.

In all seriousness though, I do suggest seeing a doctor (psychiatrist), or a group therapy. Sometimes it really does help. Writing in a journal could really help as well.

man i just found out a few minutes ago that my friend shot himself in the head right after he shot his girlfriend, because she broke up with him....this is fuckn crazy!!!...




.dJonE.

quote:

Originally posted by Dj onE man i just found out a few minutes ago that my friend shot himself in the head right after he shot his girlfriend, because she broke up with him....this is fuckn crazy!!!... .dJonE.

ouch Probably will be in the news.

quote:

Originally posted by Dj onE man i just found out a few minutes ago that my friend shot himself in the head right after he shot his girlfriend, because she broke up with him....this is fuckn crazy!!!... .dJonE.

quote:

Originally posted by Dmatrox ouch Probably will be in the news.

yeah and the wierdest thing about it is that that was the last person that i would think would pull something like that ....and in front of his house on his porch?!?!?!?...WTF????!?!?!?...with his mom in the house!!...



.dJonE.

what a sad day

how close were your friend? and its really sad that he took someone elses life too

I know how it is.

you know, depression bites.
I'll give you my story, maybe it will cheer you up.

I was diagnosed with bipolar a couple years ago, it's been hectic ever since. The troubles I have been experiencing over the last couple monthes only effect me, which is a good thing - as I dont like getting others involved, but maybe talking about it helps, because I do like to isolate myself.

So, here it goes.

The beginning of September I lost my job, and was arrested for something I did not do, I have to go back to court on Tuesday to see if I get jail time or not. I can't proove my innocence, because two witnesses "saw" me, in which are dire enemies of mine, so that doesen't give me too much, and I cant afford a lawyer.

About a week later, I was in a car accident - my power steering in my car failed, and I kept going right. My car hit a ditch, flipped over, breaking my back and my leg. I wrote off my car, insurance wouldent cover it. I lost my license because I didint keep right.

So, jobless, carless.. my girlfriend is in Florida working at disney world, I cant pay rent, I cant pay my cell bill, I cant pay for anything because of the medical costs, and all the other shit that went behind it. She surprised me in the hospital (thank god) - that was a moment of relief for me.

So, since I am unemployed and carless, I've been going to events and shows lately (gabriel & dresden, dumonde, future breeze, johan gielen, rank1, lange, etc. etc.) with the money I have saved - and have been doing E, which has been altering my perception, and letting me enjoy life, if only for that brief period. (dont fucking tell me to stop doing it.) - anyways, I've been partying with the same girl, which happens to be my girlfriend's (who is the only girl i've ever loved) - best friend. Now, I am starting to get feelings for her, and to top it off - my girlfriend told me to quit smoking, or quit seeing her. So of course, I had to quit smoking in order to keep her, but I have feelings for her best friend.. and, blah.

I dread going to bed. It literaly scares me. I might be going to jail, my back and leg havent healed yet, I dont know what to do about my girl situation, my car, a job.. life just fucking sucks, I dont eat, I dont sleep. I have lost 30lbs because of it.


There's my story. Hopefully i'm not ignored.

and stk, as for you.. try smoking, always helped me when I had girl problems. (though I have some now - I still have them from time to time.) women are a part of life. It always takes more than one to find the right one, it's almost like everything in life. You have to know what to look for, and to look forward to. Know that one day there will be a girl that will walk by you, and you will just know. Heart break only makes us stronger as individuals, depression hurts.. but sometimes we have to look at the good things, and the good parts about what happened, I am sure it has made you a better person, what would you have done without her? You may have found someone better and missed that opportunity. Maybe write her a letter, tell her how you feel - I know it is probably eating you up inside, and maybe just telling her exactly how you feel about it, and the situation - she will understand and talk to you about it. It does help, she was not only a lover, but also a friend, and maybe she can take that role once more, and if she does not want that role, then you know she was not a friend to begin with, and you need to replace her. If we continue worrying about the things that have been, then we will miss the things that come up to us in the future.

Enjoy life, I try to. And when things are going down, we always have the beautiful music that binds us all together.

as I type this to sarah mclachlen - fallen (g&d remix)

Hopefully my ramblings made some sense.

- neoh

Really sorry to hear you are going thru depression.

Anytime I'm involved in any type of relationship or even feelings for anyone..it just turns bad. It totally sucks even more because most of my friends are attached. I was totally depressed for a while until I learned to try to deal with it.

No matter how hard you try, you have to find it in yourself and support from others to keep you strong. If the people you currently surround yourself with ARE NOT supportive, maybe its time to find others?

Find something that keeps you happy whether its working out, driving in ur car and listening to some good beats, or just walking down the beach. When I was very depressed, I just thought to myself "F@$K everybody else!", the most important person in your life should be yourself. Don't let anybody else ruin it or make you think differently of yourself. I know its difficult, but just try. Hey if you need someone to talk to ..send me a msg. Good luck.

No drugs. No shrinks. No crap.

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and just start over. I know it sounds harsh, but unless you have a serious chemical imbalance, which is highly unlikely, the only solution is for you, yourself, to decide to take a different attitude. It is your decisions that are going to lead you to happiness or depression. If you put in the effort to improve your life and take a positive outlook towards the future, there's no reason you can't be happy.

The thing you have to do is to take personal responsibility for your life. Stop thinking that it's just because you've been born shy and introverted that you have trouble meeting people. Your natural personal tendencies are nothing that can't be overcome with a little self-discipline.

I don't expect you to take my advice. I've known a lot of depressed people, and they rarely do. I'm not telling you it's going to be immediate or easy. But it's nothing you can't do. If you don't, it's because you choose not to - and you have no one to blame but yourself so don't expect anyone to feel sorry for you.

Best Wishes,

Arbiter

Re: I know how it is.

quote:

Originally posted by neoh Enjoy life, I try to. And when things are going down, we always have the beautiful music that binds us all together.

you're problably the smartest person on this board...


its hard, its very hard... depression really does suck.. and quotes like "dont let it get to you" really do piss me off.. but thats cause they're true... use music or whatever hobbies you have to divert your mind, and eventually its just gona go away.. happened to me atleast.

Lonelyness can also lead to depression.. thats what happened to me atleast. But i realized that lonelyness is the clearest crystal to ones self... you can learn a lot about yourself, and grow as a person.

dont know if i made any sense or not.. but i wish you the best of luck.

Re: Re: I know how it is.

quote:

Originally posted by SKELETOR you're problably the smartest person on this board... its hard, its very hard... depression really does suck.. and quotes like "dont let it get to you" really do piss me off.. but thats cause they're true... use music or whatever hobbies you have to divert your mind, and eventually its just gona go away.. happened to me atleast. Lonelyness can also lead to depression.. thats what happened to me atleast. But i realized that lonelyness is the clearest crystal to ones self... you can learn a lot about yourself, and grow as a person. dont know if i made any sense or not.. but i wish you the best of luck.

Believe it or not, I have a girlfriend, see her every day.. yet I still feel so alone.

Re: Re: Re: I know how it is.

quote:

Originally posted by neoh Believe it or not, I have a girlfriend, see her every day.. yet I still feel so alone.

watch Escaflowne and tell me how you feel.

I hate anime.

Re: depression?? how to get over it? help please

quote:

Originally posted by stk Hi! I'm a freshmen in college now, and i've been depressed for over 2 years now... Well during my whole life i've been a shy and introverted guy, a person who has low confidence and very low self esteem.

First off I don't think this is entirely all to do with you past GF, sounds like she could be very well be your first. OK, you also said that you dumped her. Welp bro you probably don't miss her as much as the fact of having someone around. I get an idea of how you feel you see all those guys hooking up with all those freshmen cuties left and right? Your like where's my piece, *sigh I did have a piece back my junior year but I fucked it up! Wrong! You had your reasons time to move you would've wasted time. Only natural to feel jealous as well. You also say your introverted, shy low confidence, blah excuses. I know what you see is those "extroverts" center of the stage and you wish you could be one of those. Sure, whatever why not be an outgoing introvert, be an anomoly to what you are, introversion is just a way of thinking. You think introspectively where as extroverts gather things from the environment. Lucky you, you can think outside the box tho, more easily you make your own shit up. Share it with the world. The world will like you if not fuck em. Find the ones that do! IF you want a girl that bad but can't get one settle for a good homie. Sure you not getting sexual things taken care of but u can always wank, sides everydog has his day. A good homie who'll listen to ur probs. and kick it wid you. Shit its college, lotsa women just try every wkend even if you don't want to. I could go on about women but I dont' have time.

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