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favourite simpson's segment

so i know everyone here loves the simpsons just like i do, namely homer.. my favourite segment in the entire show is when homer buys lisa the pony then he comes home, sleeps for 2 seconds and the alarm goes off and he gets up to go to his second job .. what's yours?

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, I think something might be bothering him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant Homer!
Homer: It was Marge, admit it.

Best quote evar, from the Jessica Lovejoy episode

I ahve so many that i cant decide, but some that stand out are:

It was on the other nite. Its the one where homer gets kicked uut for telling his class about his "private life". At one point he gets given a bowl of pudding and he says something (which i cant remember) but all he is thinking is "eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding"


another fav is the one where the have all the little mini episodes of the people of springfield. Its the bit with cleatus, he is climbing a powerpole and he gets to the top where the phone box thing is and says "hey i could call my ma from up here" then he pauses and looks back at his house and yells "hey ma! get off the dang roof!"

Haw haw haw

homer: i love you pepsi
pepe: pepe!
homer: i mean, pepe

the little things tend to make me laugh the most, the in-jokes, running gags. for some reason the newer episodes seem to lack those kinda things. and as a result i've watched less and less (oh and also due to the advent of the internet with its free porn).

Homer: Do you have any sugar?
Scorpio: Sugar? Sugar ... sure! (reaches into pockets) Here ya go, sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?
Homer: (thoughtfully) Nnnnnnooooo.

quote:

Originally posted by webmeister Homer: Do you have any sugar? Scorpio: Sugar? Sugar ... sure! (reaches into pockets) Here ya go, sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream? Homer: (thoughtfully) Nnnnnnooooo.

haha! i cracked up to that part when it was on tv the other day.

The episode where Homer has to take Marijuana for his eye is pretty funny. He runs into the house and excitedly says "we have a kitchen!!!!" hah...the whole episode is funny though.

I love it when people are talking like advanced english or something to homer, and homer appears to be in a trance of confusing, he just stands their politely and pretends to understand haha.

Homer : "Hello , im Mr Burns, id like to withdraw $5000 please"
Bank teller: "ok Mr Burns whats your first name?"
Homer:"I dont know"

LMAO

omGidie!

quote:

Originally posted by Dj_Psygnosis The episode where Homer has to take Marijuana for his eye is pretty funny. He runs into the house and excitedly says "we have a kitchen!!!!" hah...the whole episode is funny though.

One of the funniest episodes ever, easily the best from the last 2-3 years....

quote:

Originally posted by 3jaz Homer : "Hello , im Mr Burns, id like to withdraw $5000 please" Bank teller: "ok Mr Burns whats your first name?" Homer:"I dont know" LMAO omGidie!

CLASSIC!

Too many segemnts to note. Although the bit where the family went to Japan and watched that particular anime scene where they fell on the floor and start to go crazy was pretty funny.
I also really like the episode where they removed the crayon from Homer'brain, thus making him "normal" and actually quite smart. The part where he was listening to the radio really suprised me.

quote:

Originally posted by 3jaz Homer : "Hello , im Mr Burns, id like to withdraw $5000 please" Bank teller: "ok Mr Burns whats your first name?" Homer:"I dont know" LMAO omGidie!

Actually Homers trying to get back a letter from the post office that bart mailed to mister burns after they didnt get any cash for giving him bart's blood!! hehehe sorry but i love that episode...

My fav is:
Homer: Everytime i learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain...... remember that time i took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive??
Marge: You were drunk!
Homer: And how.... *satisfied expression*

So many great episodes!! Take that you dumb squirrel!!!

We should have a "name the simpsons episode which had [insert line here] in it" game!!!

homer: uh oh looks like were stuck [in mud]. theres only one thing for it
floors car till wheels get more stuck so they walk off
homer: when you really think about it, mud is really wet dirt

from the adults only episode
quite a laugh

haha yeah these are all making me laugh.. how about the one where they hand mc bain the glasses, put these on incase of radioactivty, then he chucks them on and all the acid flies out hes like 'my eyes, ze goggles do nuffing!'

Marge: Homer your sinking in the tar!!
Homer: No problem ill just reach in and pull my legs out with my arms................. ok now ill just pull my arms out with my face.........

Pretty much anything Duffman says is comic gold.

"Time to give this brown patch a little H200000. OH YEAH!"
"Duffman says a lotta things. OH YEAH!"
"New. Emotion. Rising. Within. Duffman. What. Would. Jesus. Do?"
"Duff Beer wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program..... now who wants to get DRUNK!?"
"Duffman is thrusting in the general direction of the problem."
"Duffman.... can't breathe.... OH NO!"
"Duffman's pension has been mismanaged..... OH YEAH!"

Other quotes:

Homer: Will you kids be quiet, I can't hear myself think.
Homer's Brain: *I want some peanuts*
Homer: That's better.

Bart: Yeah mom, these uniforms suck.
Marge: Where on Earth did you pick up language like that?
Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I mean I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Admiral: What do you want most Homer?
Homer: I.... want.... peas!
Admiral: We all want peace but how do we get peace?
Homer: With a knife!
Admiral: Ah, not with the olive branch but the bayonet! Homer you're like the son I never had.
Homer: And you're like the father I never visit....

Lionel Hutz: Uh oh... we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly,' and the word 'dog' with 'son.

Lionel Hutz: Anyone care to join me in a snifter of scotch?
Marge: It's 9.30 in the morning!
Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven't slept in days. Last chance?

Bart: Take him away boys!
Cheif Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here, I get to say that! Bake him away toys!
Black Cop: What'd you just say chief?
Cheif Wiggum: ...... just do what the kid says.

Homer: See I got this friend named Joey Joe-Joe Junior.... Shabbadoo?
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
*man runs crying out of bar*
Barney: Hey, Joey Joe-Joe!

Ralph: Hi Lisa, hi super-nintendo Chalmers! I'm learn-ding!

Homer: With $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all sorts of useful things.... like love.

Sideshow Bob: No, no, no. "Die, Bart, Die" is German for "The Bart.... the".
Juror: No one who speaks German could ever be evil - let's let him go!

Chalmers: Seymour, is your kitchen on fire?
Skinner: No that's just..... aurora borealis.
Chalmers: Aurora borealis?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: At this time of day, at this time of year, on this part of the planet, LOCALISED ENTIRELY IN YOUR KITCHEN!?
Skinner: Why yes.
Chalmers: ...... can I see it?
Skinner: Um, no.

Dr Nick: C'mon Nick, think back to Med School.....
Young Dr Nick: Sure baby, I can prescribe anything I want!

Bart: Dad, what's a muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man.... *laughs*. So to answer your question I don't know.

Mr Burns: Smithers, are they booing me?
Smithers: No, they're saying "Boooourns, Boooourns"!
Mr. Burns: Are you saying "boo" or "booourns"?
*crowd boos and starts throwing stuff*
Hans Moleman: I was saying Booourns....

Bart: Hey, back off Jack!
Rich Kid: The name.... is Jackington!

Smither: Sir, I'm afraid we have an image problem. People see you as something of an ogre.
Mr Burns: Why I ought to club them and eat their bones!

Marge: Homer, what are you doing with all those bowling balls?
Homer: *sigh* I'm not gonna lie to you Marge...... well, goodnight.

Miss Hoover: You know I'd never heard of the word "embiggened" before I moved to Springfield....
Edna: Really? It's a perfectly cromulent word....

Bart: We could burn them out?
Marge: No fires!
Lisa: On the other hand, fire would....
Marge: No fires!
Homer: I got it!
Marge: No fires!
Homer: Oh.... wait, I got it! Fire! *silence* Or.....

Police Answering Service: Hello, you have reached the Springfield Police Squad rescue phone! If you know the name of the phelony being committed, press one! ..... You have selected..... Regicide! If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one....


And from the "Behind the Laughter" episode (maybe the best one ever):

Announcer: The dream was over. Coming up next, was the dream really over? Yes it was. Or was it?

Homer: The fame was like a drug. But was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Grandpa: Homer isn't a communist! He may be a liar, a cheat, a pervert, a communist.... but my son is not a porn-star!

Homer: Like I tried to tell you, I thought the cop was a prostitute!

quote:

Originally posted by lethal Marge: Homer your sinking in the tar!! Homer: No problem ill just reach in and pull my legs out with my arms................. ok now ill just pull my arms out with my face.........

LMAO!

i lub it

Homer: hmmm peanut.....*drops peanut*.... ahhhh wheres my peanut??
*searching under the sofa*
Homer: awww... a 20 dollar bill, i wanted my peanut
Homers Brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts
Homer: Explain how..
Homers Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services...

www.snpp.com

Simpsons episodes galore

Homer, homer simpson.... hes the greatest guy in history...... from the town of springfield...... hes about to hit a chestnut tree....... ahhhhhh!!!!

Moe: As hard as it is to believe, some people don't care for me, neither
Homer: (shaking head) No, i wont accept that
Moe: No, it's true. I got their names written down right here, in what i call my uh... "enemies list"
Barney: (taking the list and reading it) Jane Fonda, Daniel Schorr, Jack Anderson.... Hey, this is Richard Nixon's enemiest list! You just crossed out his name and put yours!


Lisa: Can i go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
Marge: I wouldnt bother him, honey. He's making some kind of model for a contest. He says its really high-tech stuff that we wouldnt understand.
(Homer sticks his head in the kitchen)
Homer: Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni and glue-on sparkles?


Lisa: Oh Grampa, you're not busy are you?
Grampa: Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Byrd had just reached the Pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges...

Scorpio: And to prove I'm not bluffing.... (presses button)

KABOOM, bridge blows up

UN Delegate 1: Oh my god, the 49th Street Bridge!!
UN Delegate 2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own...
UN Delegate 1: We can't take that chance!
UN Delegate 2: You always say that! I want to take a chance!

Homer: Hello dean, You are a stupid head.
Dean: Homer is that you!?

Homer receiving his prescription marijuana from Dr Hibbert...

Dr Hibbert: You also get a prescription bong. Do you want the skull or the wizard?

Marge gives birth to Lisa

Homer: It's a boy, and WHAT A BOY!!!!
Doctor: Err, Mr. Simpson, thats the umbilical cord

haha!

Guess the epsiode...

Homer: Thats right money, your money's money is all that money.

Dr. Nick: Well, if it isn't my good friend Mr. McGreg! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!

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