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F U Mtv

a friend of a friend wrote the following in his livejournal, and i thought it was really good:

quote:

F U MTV Last Saturday night, as with any, I found myself awake at 2:30 in the morning, too tired to go to bed. It was well passed the hour of any reasonably amusing TV, and I passed time in front of another reality show replicant. This one consisted of scouring a stranger�s room, in an endeavor to uncover their embarrassing secrets and then decide whether or not to date them. As my eyes grew redder it hit me again. MTV is a plague trying to destroy music as we know it. This was not the first time that I had been horrified by the reality of a major corporation�s domination of an art form. It hits me in tidal waves every few days, causing me to run as far away from basic cable as my CDs will allow. Comedian Lewis Black once said �MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken� and I�m inclined to agree. It has steadily declined into a vast infrastructure of ratings and dollar signs. In 1992 MTV covered the Paradise festival in the Netherlands, featuring some of the most influential music of the last ten years. Eleven years later rappers rhyme atrocious lyrics to dull-witted repetitive beats and talk about their wondrous lives of crime, objectification of women, and flashing their money to advertise that they�ve sold out and that�s A ok. Punk rock �wannabees� all whine about girls leaving them and then wallow in their musical self-pity. I wonder if it�s the same girl leaving them all. It must be because why else would all those bands sound the same? Between twenty-inch rims, Bacardi, spiked black hair, and black eye make up I can�t find the music. It�s so clich� it�s as if they�re making fun of themselves. If you don�t know what I�m talking about let me explain the symptoms. You know when you crap your pants? That�s it! This so called �Music� crawls into your ear as you fall victim to its projected image. It bounces around inside your skull, sending its reverberating lack of melodies and talent crawling over the landscape of your mind. It whispers to you; �Hey this songs great! The creator has a speaker system with four-wheel-drive, the most ridiculous clothes ever made out of an endangered species, is famous just for being famous and some dumb girl on TRL just gave a shout out to everyone in the state of New Jersey while it was playing! It must be good!� As it travels down your spinal cord, it numbs your entire nervous system, so your body can�t convulse uncontrollably. Gentlemen beware; it will next try to take from you what you hold most dear- your balls. Yes that�s right; your testicles will shrink to the size of capers and there�s no fancy pill to reverse it. But women of course lack the equipment for that so�well quite frankly you�re missing out. Balls are fun. In its final stage the advanced MTV virus goes for your bowels and that is of course the point at which you crap your pants and let�s face it; that�s just embarrassing. However this isn�t the limit of the disease. Other side effects may include dry skin, weight loss, weight gain, headaches, dry mouth, aches and pains, drowsiness, frequent mood swings, high blood pressure, nausea, diarrhea, spontaneous herpes, being a loser, instant retardation and death. You should also not watch MTV if you are pregnant or nursing, are required to operate heavy machinery, if you have any self-respect, if you don�t want to be a tool or if you have enough money to buy bling bling. The virus affects everyone but only those with an IQ of over 80 will be affected by the symptoms. All others will most likely be oblivious to or in denial of their condition. Perhaps the most shocking thing is that the virus is easily transmittable. It can travel to you wallet and force you to spend endless sums of money so its victim can look like certain so called �artists�. This will then influence the poor imbeciles near by, who have no taste and style of their own, causing an outbreak. The virus has neurological effect as well, influencing judgment. Victims have been known to make horrible reasoning mistakes such as watching The Real World, Road Rules, Dismissed, Room Raiders and TRL. This could signify that the virus is mutating further; surpassing bad music by leaving the music behind and becoming Reality TV on a stick. Thus what was once a channel devoted to music has become an infection of cheap imitations, polluted culture and sick addictions to false realities. MTVs current official classification is a type of fever. Not dance fever or Saturday night fever, but �wow this really sucks� fever. There is no known cure and the best way to be safe is to stay away from that freakin� channel. Remember; if it�s not on MTV, it�s probably awesome.

see, not only TAs hate MTV

** round of applause **

Nice!
your mate wrote this? what does he listen to?

Lala should start giving shout outs to electronic djs/producers

this might help lol

but yeah.. mtv is gay.

Nice Article

�MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken�

^^haha, so true

quote:

The virus affects everyone but only those with an IQ of over 80 will be affected by the symptoms. All others will most likely be oblivious to or in denial of their condition.

LOL!! thats some pretty funny stuff.. yeah what type of music does your friend listen to? Im interested if its not trance.. perhaps underground hip-hop or underground punk?

Tool- LA Municipal court
Jeff Buckley- Hellelujah
RATM- Know your Enemy
Tool- Eulogy
Tracy Chapman - ?
RHCP- Get on Top
The Counting Crows- Round Here
Outkast- Hey yaaaa
Red Hot Chili Peppers- Road Trippin
Pat Metheney Group- Last Train Home
Red Hot Chili Peppers- Porcelain
Rage Against The Machine- No Shelter
TOOL- No Quarter
Ben folds- not the same
A Perfect Circle- 3 Libras
David Bowie, Maynard and john frusciante-bringmethediscoking
A Perfect Circle- Diary of a Madman
Incubus- The Warmth
Stevie Ray Vaugh- Cover of "Little Wing
Jimi Hendrix- catfish blues
Tool- Bottom


some of the songs he listens to, as posted in his journal... again, a friend of a friend, seems like he likes Tool

quote:

Originally posted by whiskers Tool- LA Municipal court Jeff Buckley- Hellelujah RATM- Know your Enemy Tool- Eulogy Tracy Chapman - ? RHCP- Get on Top The Counting Crows- Round Here Outkast- Hey yaaaa Red Hot Chili Peppers- Road Trippin Pat Metheney Group- Last Train Home Red Hot Chili Peppers- Porcelain Rage Against The Machine- No Shelter TOOL- No Quarter Ben folds- not the same A Perfect Circle- 3 Libras David Bowie, Maynard and john frusciante-bringmethediscoking A Perfect Circle- Diary of a Madman Incubus- The Warmth Stevie Ray Vaugh- Cover of "Little Wing Jimi Hendrix- catfish blues Tool- Bottom some of the songs he listens to, as posted in his journal... again, a friend of a friend, seems like he likes Tool

thats interesting, most of those bands are on MTV..not frequently but i have seen videos for RHCP, Tool, Ben Folds and Counting Crows..

still though the tracks he listed are not mainstream at all..so he could be agonizing over mainstream top 40 songs?

'MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken'

analogy of an era.

The music he listens to may not be underground but they are musicians with actual musical talent RHCP, Incubus, Tracey Chapman; Hendrix; Counting Crows; Ben Folds. They are/were producing some of the better music that is readily avaliable to the masses. By all accounts musically very very good. They may be classed as 'commercial' and 'on mtv' but they have that coverage because they are actually good at what they do (although the coverage is limited coz the cash in bands that make the companies the most money are given the most).

Well put, i've been waiting for someone to find the proper words.

Nothing more do add..
But I'm not unhappy about this..! This keeps the "look-arounds" away from partys.

quote:

Originally posted by whiskers some of the songs he listens to, as posted in his journal... again, a friend of a friend, seems like he likes Tool

I like Tool...I always thought some great remixes could be made of their tracks...for any brave soul willing to do it and risk getting their asses kicked by Maynard & crew. I know there have been a few technoish remixes, but I haven't stumbled across any myself. Danny Loehner's (I could be spelling that incorrectly) remix of Judith, by A perfect Circle, is (in my opinion) a lot better than the original.

quote:

Originally posted by TranceLuver4evr Nice Article �MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken� ^^haha, so true

My quote of the month!

Haha...it should have been said a long time ago!

Well written, he surely knows what he's talking about. I must admit that I watched MTV a little some years ago before I "saw the light", but now: never! This channel is just full of sellout crap and coca-cola commercials. Yak!

quote:

Originally posted by Mebot thats interesting, most of those bands are on MTV..not frequently but i have seen videos for RHCP, Tool, Ben Folds and Counting Crows.. still though the tracks he listed are not mainstream at all..so he could be agonizing over mainstream top 40 songs?

not those tool tracks.
just to be defensive




jessicah, Lohner


and there's a new remix of 'Blue' by APC.

I actually watch some of the shows they put on. Except of course for the overdosed real world/road world, god I wish those shows would die and never, ever have another reunion or special show.

a great show would be rich girls, omg I feel soooo good about myself after watching that. Yeah they have money, but seriously, they could easily test as mentally retarded.

MTV music/movie awards, always hilarious.

Making the video, candy coated incite into making an actual shitty video that never gets played. Very cool.


Cribs.....and that special on the playboy mansion, very nice. And if you didn't see that playboy mansion special one of the girlfriends of Heft's just got 2 Technic 1200's and and a mixer (I couldn't recognize it), but she also had some kick ass monitors. I want to visit that place now.


and come on, who didn't watch newlyweds with jessica simpson.....ok don't answer that, but again, I think she could easily test mentally retared on any given day.


I think the only savior we have is mtv 2, obviously Vh1 blows since all they ever do is have the top 100 of something nobody cares about and always bitches about. MTV2 did bring back headbangers ball, so aybe they will invent a trance show...but don't worry about mainstreaming....it would only be played in the midnight hours and only certain areas receive it.

MTV is like my back: I never see it.

MTV is ghey!

quote:

Originally posted by Boomer187 a great show would be rich girls, omg I feel soooo good about myself after watching that.

right on, mate, whenever i'm feeling depressed, i'm like "let's throw some mtv on so that it can make me braindead for a while" and then i'm like "wtf, these people suck, i feel good now"

quote:

Cribs.....and that special on the playboy mansion, very nice. And if you didn't see that playboy mansion special one of the girlfriends of Heft's just got 2 Technic 1200's and and a mixer (I couldn't recognize it), but she also had some kick ass monitors. I want to visit that place now.

I saw a playmate spin at a club recently and she sucked ass. Like majorly. Couldn't beatmatch worth a damn and had horrible taste in music. Pretty much didn't have any clue on what she was doing. She looked good though, but that was all she had going for her. Then again that's pretty much what all playmates have going for them...

EXCELLENT article just what i needed to see

too bad that playmate was a crap dj, how cool would it be if there was a playmate DJ who could actually spin worth shit?

my friends hate MTV also and they listen to rock and all that

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