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-- God Created Whiskey

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-12-2004 16:56:

God Created Whiskey

a somewhat intelligent friend of mine presented me with a very interesting theory the other night.

he believes God created whiskey.

and it goes like this..

God created whiskey for man to use as a tool..
When I drink whiskey, i lose any superficial tendencies i might've had..
to me i see every girl as beautiful..
if they're not dancing, or not socializing, i see this as my opportunity to find her inner beauty.
to make her feel good about herself, tell her how beautiful she is, how great she smells, and how much she turns me on.
i dance with her, let her buy me drinks, talk to her all night, and then move on to the next girl who seems lonely. and gind her inner beauty.

god created whiskey as a tool to make people happy and feel better about themselves, boost their self confidence.

the moral of this story is...
everytime my friend drinks whiskey, he gets laid.

but.. as bad as this whole thing sounds. i realized that in a way my friend is making girls feel good about themselves, making them happy, hey he's got a vibrating tongue ring, so they're pretty damn happy..

some of my friends think he's just fucked for what he does.. he's nto an unattractive guy, and he could do a lot better... but he lieks what he does and in some twisted way believes he's doing good..

Posted by Form&Funktion on Jan-12-2004 18:00:

Is this friend you Muff?

Posted by Fir3start3r on Jan-12-2004 18:38:

...cause I find if I put things in 3rd person, it's more socially accepted...or so the voices tell me...

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-12-2004 19:43:

LOL

no, its not me, i'm not that dirty. but it could be me very soon...

it's actually my buddy that came with me to see armi in october last year, the guy who got caught by the bouncer making a pipe out of a guv't water bottle.

Posted by failsafe on Jan-12-2004 20:27:

hahaahha making a pipe out of the water bottle. That's hillarious.

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-12-2004 20:35:

^^^
the bouncer didnt find it funny. even after we explained to him that the only reason we made it was because the joints weren't rolled very well - he still took it away.

Posted by Rocco on Jan-12-2004 20:42:

Jesus didn't make whisky but He made wine at the wedding. U know the story.. they ran out of wine so St. Mary asked Him to make wine and He made wine and everyone loved it.

but sure.. if God made whisky, He made whisky. whatever....God made everything if you put it in that sense.

Posted by SKELETOR on Jan-12-2004 21:31:

your friend sounds like a really cool guy.

nothing makes me feel better than making someone else feel good about themselves.

Posted by Vivid Boy on Jan-12-2004 21:35:

quote:
Originally posted by SKELETOR
your friend sounds like a really cool guy.

nothing makes me feel better than making someone else feel good about themselves.

with the help of alchol

Posted by angelgirl on Jan-12-2004 22:11:

Whiskey and Rye are the angry man's drink too, non?

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-12-2004 22:16:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

we prefer to call it 'love juice'

Posted by torontotrance on Jan-12-2004 22:16:

LOL!

Posted by angelgirl on Jan-12-2004 22:18:

Vodka is my angry...I mean "love juice" so I try and stick to the Whiskey. Always a happy night when I drink the Rye and Ginger.

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-12-2004 22:21:

quote:
Originally posted by angelgirl
Vodka is my angry...I mean "love juice" so I try and stick to the Whiskey. Always a happy night when I drink the Rye and Ginger.

straight outta the Weiser's bottle is the way to go....

i don't believe God intended his whiskey to be tainted by mixing it with other liquids

Posted by Fir3start3r on Jan-12-2004 22:51:

Posted by SKELETOR on Jan-12-2004 22:52:

ah.. i stopped drinkin after this summer.

i hate loading myself up with liquids.. and then later on drinkin too much and throwing up.. and i dont even wana think about the hangover the next day!

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-12-2004 23:04:

quote:
Originally posted by SKELETOR
ah.. i stopped drinkin after this summer.

i hate loading myself up with liquids.. and then later on drinkin too much and throwing up.. and i dont even wana think about the hangover the next day!

there's no hangover if you keep drinking tho

Posted by Rocco on Jan-13-2004 01:14:

i'll just stick to my bottle of absolut citron

Posted by failsafe on Jan-13-2004 02:18:

I don't know how happy all these girls are feeling the next day after he screws off to never talk to them agian. Seems like he brings them up just so he can smash them down further. Feeling used isn't exactly the best thing for ones ego.

Posted by Vivid Boy on Jan-13-2004 03:12:

thats negative talk failsafe...girls love it...trust me i know they always ask me never to talk to them again the next morning..

"OMG I CAME HOME WITH U!!! DONT EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!"

"baby i wasnt planning on it"

Posted by Muff2K on Jan-13-2004 05:42:

quote:
Originally posted by failsafe
I don't know how happy all these girls are feeling the next day after he screws off to never talk to them agian. Seems like he brings them up just so he can smash them down further. Feeling used isn't exactly the best thing for ones ego.

nonono, he adds them to msn, so they keep in touch

Posted by Silky Johnson on Jan-13-2004 06:30:

quote:
Originally posted by Muff2K
straight outta the Weiser's bottle is the way to go....

i don't believe God intended his whiskey to be tainted by mixing it with other liquids

Yeah he did. With water. It's called a "press". Have one waiting for you in the morning at your bedside table. Breakfast of champions...err alcoholics.

Posted by failsafe on Jan-13-2004 07:05:

hah he must have quite the msn list.

Posted by reverieX2 on Jan-16-2004 05:13:

Its all about the IceBurg Vodka Can't get enough of that sweet necter