TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Production Studio
-- You know you're addicted to synths when...................
Pages (2): [1] 2 »
You know you're addicted to synths when...................
Sorry if this is a repost but I read it on another forum and thought I might share this.....
So funny, yet disturbingly true! 
1. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, but know how many BPM they flash at.
2. You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she
listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required to reproduce it.
3. You are sure you can hear the loop points at a choir recital.
4. In addition to your in and out trays at work, you also have one
marked 'thru'.
5. Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TB-303.
6. The accelerator on your car has aftertouch.
7. You've dialed the phone number 1-303-808-9091 just to see what
happens.
8. Your cat's name is Octave.
9. You've look for a midi in out and thru on a Yamaha motorcycle.
10. You expect the cutoff frequency of your door to change when you turn the knob...
11. You wake up every night at 3:03 AM. (Er..wait a sec...most of us
don't go to bed until well past 5...-R)
12. You find an immaculate Moog modular at a garage sale for $500, but
you turn it down because the wood is slightly the wrong shade of
brown...
13. Your girlfriend/wife drapes a wig over your favorite synth to
remind you what she looks like.
14. You step out of your studio and realize that your family moved and
you don't have a clue when it happened.
15. You have "Frequency" and "Resonance" tattooed above your nipples.
(Don't ask where the pitchbend is...-R)
16. You don't worry about temperature instabilities in your older gear: you never turn it off.
17. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage..so you buy her her own synth and some CV/Gate leads.
18. You hear thunder and sit there marveling at how clean the low pass
is.
19. Your daughter's first name is Polly. Her middle name is Six.
20. Your wedding song was "Still..You Turn Me On"
21. Your bathroom library consists entirely of old Keyboard magazines.
22. Your daughter's new boyfriend has tattoos, rides a Harley, and
doesn't have a job. But you don't mind because his name is Roland.
23. Your telephone answering machine message took 2 days to write and
produce.
24. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your
apartment; only racks, mixers, keyboards, cables and power cords.
25. You have bass bins for end tables.
26. It is dangerous to walk around in your own living room at night.
(See 24)
27. There's a giant yellow ball in the sky, and your not quite sure what it is, but when you go outside it burns out you retinas and makes your skin glow.
28. You can write a "mouth" 303 line over absolutely any beat, from any genre of music.
29. You can effectively scan classifieds/musical instruments in under a minute.
30. You wait until 12:01 A.M. to read the on-line music classified ads.
31. You are best friends with all the owners of pawn shops in your local area, even though you really hate them.
32. When turning the hot / cold knobs on your sink gets exciting.
Looking for that "perfect" mix...
33. You never answer the phone. (Hmm...I wonder if it's to get people to listen to the answering message you spent so much time on in 23? -R)
34. Your best friends have knobs and sliders.
35. When all your significant other has to say, "Oh no, not another one" and you know what they're talking about.
36. If you just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty lights blink and glow.
37. If you perk-up on Sundays when you hear the word "Prophet".
38. You would rather fiddle with your synthesizer's knobs than fiddle
with your girlfriend's/wife's knobs.
39. Somehow, you haven't been able to budget for clothes for 2+ years,
but you have found thousands of dollars to buy gear.
40. Your girlfriend/wife goes to bed, You go to your STUDIO.
41. Your friends say "Why would you pay $XXX for that piece of crap?"
and you glare back and actually get offended...
42. You can tell the difference between 12dB/24dB filters by ear...
43. You prefer "analog" instead of "digital" home appliances because
'they just work better '
44. A friend tells you about "some old synth" he's had for years. He
thinks its a moooooog or whatever, and you go to his house and its just an old pump organ.
45. Working feverishly late in your studio, you convince yourself you
can stay awake longer, and maybe get an early night later on. This
falls apart around 4PM, and you wake up around 7PM bleary eyed, and
realize there's a new cigarette burn on your mixer, the computer crashed 2 hours ago, and you have "GOOMYROMEM" tattooed on your forehead
46. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24 db neural implant to
filter your ever-increasing tinnitus problem.
47. You devise a method of connecting your CV sequencer to a mains relay to trigger the kettle every 1,024 gate pulses
48. You replace your doorbell/phone ringer with that unwell MC202 you
vowed you would fix 11 months ago. At least there's some variety now.
49. Every piece of clothing you own has a synth manufacturers logo on
it. You scam them for free every trade show you attend. This allows more money for the important things in life.
50. Your wife/girlfriend leaves you. You go into a depression for a
while, then decide you can win her back with a simple, touching and
heartfelt song, written especially for her. 6 months later, you are
still mixing it.
51. You go to a trade show. You rush over to the brand new synth on
display, fiddle for 5 minutes, declare it "a piece of crap" and then go on to tell the company reps how it works, where the PCM samples came from, and offer to do them better samples from your own analog
wardrobes, all in a very loud voice. They give you an embroidered tour
jacket on the condition that you go away NOW. (see 49)
53. Synth manufacturers call YOU for technical support.
54. First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths.
55. You're dancing at a party, and all of a sudden you want to go home
and try to recreate the 303 line you just heard on a record... on your
modular synth.
56. You get excited about talking electronic toys and try to subvert
them into saying bad words or doing weird stuff so you can sample them.
57. You dream of finding a $50.00 Moog 55 at a garage sale, and after
you've thought of it, you stop at every one you see!
58. You carry around a picture of your modular in your wallet to show
everyone.
59. You convince your wife to have your bathroom floor re-tiled in black and white.
60. Your monthly power bill is always in the triple digits.
61. You have a rack-mounted microwave oven.
62. Your neighbors constantly ask your wife about "that noise" coming
from your house.
63. Your Doctor is treating you for "2600 elbow"
ROFL. Some were kind of dumb, but on the hole, some great shit. Now of course, someone will say it was posted before 
pitchbend... lol
Re: You know you're addicted to synths when...................
Here's what applies to me, more or less:
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Matt Jay 1. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, but know how many BPM they flash at. 2. You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required to reproduce it. 3. You are sure you can hear the loop points at a choir recital. 14. You step out of your studio and realize that your family moved and you don't have a clue when it happened. 16. You don't worry about temperature instabilities in your older gear: you never turn it off. 18. You hear thunder and sit there marveling at how clean the low pass is. 23. Your telephone answering machine message took 2 days to write and produce. 24. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your apartment; only racks, mixers, keyboards, cables and power cords. 25. You have bass bins for end tables. 26. It is dangerous to walk around in your own living room at night. (See 24) 29. You can effectively scan classifieds/musical instruments in under a minute. 32. When turning the hot / cold knobs on your sink gets exciting. Looking for that "perfect" mix... 33. You never answer the phone. (Hmm...I wonder if it's to get people to listen to the answering message you spent so much time on in 23? -R) 36. If you just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty lights blink and glow. 37. If you perk-up on Sundays when you hear the word "Prophet". 41. Your friends say "Why would you pay $XXX for that piece of crap?" and you glare back and actually get offended... 42. You can tell the difference between 12dB/24dB filters by ear... 43. You prefer "analog" instead of "digital" home appliances because 'they just work better ' 45. Working feverishly late in your studio, you convince yourself you can stay awake longer, and maybe get an early night later on. This falls apart around 4PM, and you wake up around 7PM bleary eyed, and realize there's a new cigarette burn on your mixer, the computer crashed 2 hours ago, and you have "GOOMYROMEM" tattooed on your forehead 54. First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths. 55. You're dancing at a party, and all of a sudden you want to go home and try to recreate the 303 line you just heard on a record... on your modular synth. 56. You get excited about talking electronic toys and try to subvert them into saying bad words or doing weird stuff so you can sample them. 57. You dream of finding a $50.00 Moog 55 at a garage sale, and after you've thought of it, you stop at every one you see! |
haha... some nice one's
| quote: |
| 55. You're dancing at a party, and all of a sudden you want to go home and try to recreate the 303 line you just heard on a record... on your modular synth. |
Oh man, this is sooo true!
| quote: |
| 50. Your wife/girlfriend leaves you. You go into a depression for a while, then decide you can win her back with a simple, touching and heartfelt song, written especially for her. 6 months later, you are still mixing it. |
| quote: |
| 45. Working feverishly late in your studio, you convince yourself you can stay awake longer, and maybe get an early night later on. This falls apart around 4PM, and you wake up around 7PM bleary eyed, and realize there's a new cigarette burn on your mixer, the computer crashed 2 hours ago, and you have "GOOMYROMEM" tattooed on your forehead |
Re: You know you're addicted to synths when...................
Very nice. I think these are me
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Matt Jay 18. You hear thunder and sit there marveling at how clean the low pass is. 24. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your apartment; only racks, mixers, keyboards, cables and power cords. 28. You can write a "mouth" 303 line over absolutely any beat, from any genre of music. 36. If you just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty lights blink and glow. 41. Your friends say "Why would you pay $XXX for that piece of crap?" and you glare back and actually get offended... 46. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24 db neural implant to filter your ever-increasing tinnitus problem. 55. You're dancing at a party, and all of a sudden you want to go home and try to recreate the 303 line you just heard on a record... on your modular synth. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by NeoPhono I'm not sure about the modular synth part, but this one drives me nuts. I always seem to be inspired by going out, and I have the urge to rush home and try something that I've either heard or thought of while at the disco. I know it drives my girlfriend crazy that I'm constantly scribbling ideas on napkins while we're out at clubs. |
wikid thread......i tried to think up a few:
64. Whenever some1 mentions the word 'SEX', you're thinking 'mmm Cubase's better looking version'
65. You wonder why the nintendo developers had to use only sine wave modulations and not some simple fancy sawtooths with filters.
66. When DJs talk about phase mixing techniques, you're wondering why they haven't discussed degrees and waveforms yet.
67. you hate the soundcard you have on your "non-production" PC and already installed a 3rd party ASIO sound dedicated driver for it.
68. You can't stand when people call reverbs and delays "echoes" when you know that it's a combination of reverb and delay
69. DDL doesn't mean Direct DownLoad
70. saying "you have a nice rack" is not meant as a pickup line
71. you get angry when you hear tracks on the radio with huge quantization errors
72. you order drinks at starbucks/second cup/timothy's/tim horton's that come out to $3.03, $9.09, $4.04, etc.
73. you buy your car with only the instrument panels knobs and sliders in mind... who cares about 200 hp when you can get a 20-20K bp filter sweep!
74. your friends don't understand why you call hp 'high pass' when they call it horsepower (see 73)
75. when you have sex or make out with your significant other, she/he can specify attack, decay, sustain and release times for you to abide by.
76. when you ride the subway around those sharp turns that make lots of screechy sounds, you
.a. try to figure out what synth could match such incredible high frequencies
.b. wish you had a low pass filter for your hearing at the time
77. While every1's panicking about getting their computers infected by one, you're wondering why Access has not given a press release about their newest virus synth!
78. When people casually say "there's a virus going around" you wonder "how much polyphony has it got?" "is it a rack or keyboard?"
(see 77)
79. You noticed first of all that the flyer for Ronald Van Gelderen was mis-spelled as ROLAND Van Gelderen for his show at the guvernment in toronto, on march 13th.
80. a "pink noise" fashion line excited you even though it's targetted for women.
81. you've completely replicated the white noise that the tv makes on dead channels
that's all for now...i want to add when i think of more.
Hilarious
Bladerunner
ROTFLMAO
42. You can tell the difference between 12dB/24dB filters by ear...
EASSYYYY 
| quote: |
| wikid thread......i tried to think up a few: |
This is definitely a keeper Good... never knew that I'd turn into a synth geek. And to think that only about 3 short years ago I didn't know the difference between keyboard and synth and thought that Monitors meant "computer monitors" - e.g. CRT.
Ok, here's a freaky one:
My house number is 808.... When realtor showed us the house I knew this one was a winner, simply on a number alone.
My wife's car license plate (standard issue) has 808 IN IT AS WELL!
So, let me add a few of my own lines:
1. You hang around local music stores in hopes of finding a bargain... but...
2. Never buy it without consulting e-bay first
3. Sales people in your local music store offer you a job or... Get pissed off when you cut them off in the middle of sales pitch and
4. ...say "Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing but...." and proceed to reduce sales guy's credibility towards 0dB
5. You are faced with tough choices all the time: "Gas bill or new compressor", "mortgage payment or new synth", "food or insulated patch cables"
6. You write lengthy reviews of all the gear you ever touched, even if you just used it for 5 minutes while assisting with item 4 above.
7. Most of your cell phone ring tones have been composed by you
8. You have dreams of the gear you desire
9. You marvel when you find out that your favorite 70's/80's track was written without the help of sequencer...
10. You never use built-in sequencers in hardware synths, yet you get upset when your new synth doesn't have it (you never know when you might need it)
11. You blow up when people don't understand that you do not send sounds over MIDI
12. When someone mentions "monitor" you automatically think of the "speaker"
13. You have 1000's of old and crappy CD's piled up in your studio with hope of sampling them one day for something useful...
14. You don't consider yourself a geek
Ok, I'm all out of ideas for now.
My apartment number is 303. 
Haha, this stuff is great. XD
| quote: |
| 14. You step out of your studio and realize that your family moved and you don't have a clue when it happened. |
Just when I rem my phone no of last 4 digit are 3032
Here's a few i think I should add.
1. You hear an analog sound and you consider it sexy.
2. you've given names to your synths other than the manufactured names.
3. When you get a sexy 303 line going(see #1) you coment out loud, even though nobody else is in the room.
4. You think you are a genious casue you know subtractive synthesis and nobody else you know does.
5. You hear an 80's tune and try to guess what synth was used in the main lead. Then you actualy research it to see if your right!
6. You think that one day your synthesis knowledge will become usefull in the office or at school.
7. You just love the way all the different colour synths look in your studio and get pissed off when a manufacturer makes a black only coloured synth.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Limit Here's a few i think I should add. 3. When you get a sexy 303 line going(see #1) you coment out loud, even though nobody else is in the room. |
Guilty!| quote: |
5. You hear an 80's tune and try to guess what synth was used in the main lead. Then you actualy research it to see if your right! |
| quote: |
6. You think that one day your synthesis knowledge will become usefull in the office or at school. |
A day doesn't pass when I don't think about it! LOL | quote: |
7. You just love the way all the different colour synths look in your studio and get pissed off when a manufacturer makes a black only coloured synth. |
Hey, My Virus KC looks mighty mean in that black only color, I actually like it that way! Tho, I'd kill for electric blue virus. Hmm... now that sounds like a next item:
I know a guy who repainted his Waldorf Pulse + and slammed on decals...it looked mean in silver. The only bitch is taking it apart...i don't recamend doing that to a virus...it's very complicated ...well probably...al my other KB synths are a bitch to take aprt.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by NeoPhono I'm not sure about the modular synth part, but this one drives me nuts. I always seem to be inspired by going out, and I have the urge to rush home and try something that I've either heard or thought of while at the disco. I know it drives my girlfriend crazy that I'm constantly scribbling ideas on napkins while we're out at clubs. |
me and Sgt. Foo = synth addicts.. and there is no rehab
a clip from an MSN convo:
alanzo says:
i've never even touched a real synth
alanzo says:
i'm a *looks around* hardware synth virgin
alanzo says:
i hope my first one will be.. gentle
SgtFoo//Aren says:
you'll be fingering and doing her all day and all nite.... it'll become a very physical relationship
alanzo says:
she'll squeel like mad when I fiddle with her knobs
| quote: |
| Originally posted by alanzo me and Sgt. Foo = synth addicts.. and there is no rehab a clip from an MSN convo: alanzo says: i've never even touched a real synth alanzo says: i'm a *looks around* hardware synth virgin alanzo says: i hope my first one will be.. gentle SgtFoo//Aren says: you'll be fingering and doing her all day and all nite.... it'll become a very physical relationship alanzo says: she'll squeel like mad when I fiddle with her knobs |
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.