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my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
hi guys
Great site here! I have been lurking here for a while and I just finally found reason enough to post. Sorry if it is another girl thread.
My Girlfriend went out with a guy for years when she was about 17/18 in highschool who fucked her up real bad (she is now 24, I am 25) - telling her to quit smoking and to either choose smoking or him blah blah etc then she broke it off with him and didn't talk to him for years. Early last year she got together with him and told him how much he hurt her back than and he had no idea and apologised (he had a girl at the time, she was still single)
Ok, now I've been dating this girl since a few months after that and everything has been great.On Sunday she mentions how there was some antismoking thing on tv and it got her thinking to quit. Then she brought up the story of how this ex used to be so hard on her to quit and all that stuff.. Now, yesterday, she is online and she tells me he came online to talk to her, to say that he was putting together a photo scrapbook and found pics of him and her and got to remembering stuff and just wanted to tell her (again) how sorry he was for hurting her. She tells me how nice this makes her feel.
I then ask why he would find it necessary to apologize again & remind her this much later unless he really still had feelings for her or whatever? That whole photo scrapbook thing seems like a sham to me, I don't know him so I cannot judge - but it seems a bit too coincidental. She then says for me to believe her that he didn't mean it like that to which I then start asking her to look at it objectively and she says she can't and that I'm overreacting and not respecting her feelings and trying to ruin it for her or something.
Of course jealousy plays a role in this but I wasn't saying for her not to talk to him or anything - just questioning his motives.. Now she says I hurt her feelings and she is being all quiet on me. 
Am I overreacting?
This is turning into a relationship forum. 
I'm not really the best person for girl advice, but my thoughts are that you didn't overreact, at least not the way you describe it. I think what you should do at this point is back off and monitor the situation from afar, if you know what I mean. If you see things escalating, if it looks like the guy is going to try to make a move on your girl, then step in.
(For the record, I actually think she's the one who's overreacting by saying you hurt her feelings. The way you tell the story it sounds more like you're just trying to look out for her, I don't think you're being unreasonable or domineering...I don't know why her feelings should be hurt. Females )
He got bored and cant find anything better right now so he is recycling.
She is a drama queen.
period.
Let her do what she wants- Offer help if you have to.
If you dont like it- dump her- Just the kind of girls she is.
Always the victim.
well ask yourself this ... in fact you probably have many a time by now.
You dont know the guy personally, but why on earth would be create a scrapbook of pics from their relationship which ended years ago? ...
i dont think someone like an ex boyfriend of 4-5-6 years or whatever would go to that length of trouble because he felt like it... there has to be some reasoning behind it.
Perhaps he misses the relationship they had together, the guy is obviously thinking about it a lot, and maybe wants to remind her of the good times they had.
Just my opinion on it, i have been hurt a lot in the past by girls and their ex's so i have a trust problem sometimes 
I agree in that she is over reacting.. u are looking out for her and dont want her to get hurt in any way, but give it a little time and see what develops if ne thing and if it does then that is the time to say something more to her.. but try not to be too pushy about it until then cause ull drive her away from you.
Agony Aunt eat yer heart out :P
Just buy her a carton of smokes and get her re-addicted. If she ends up leaving you at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that she'll irritate this guy to no end with her incessant smoking, and he'll do the same to her in return.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by xKaoSx She is a drama queen. period. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Omegasox This is turning into a relationship forum. |
That guy is going to just fuck up your relationship, just make her feel like you want her more than him.
I'd just trust the girl, if you feel you can. if she says theres nothing going on, then there isnt. depends on the girl though.
id just leave it alone
www.bluelight.nu
has a great relationship forum..
check it out, lots of mature people with very good advice
I'd slap him. Cant say I've actually read the problem there, but hey, you only live once. Whatever he's done/hasn't done, it's worth a slap at least.
fuck her as many times as possible, then jettison
ok put it this way girls love freedom so give it to her...if she fucks up with it then she fucked up and she no longer gets ur dick...the end
Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Grendel hi guys Great site here! I have been lurking here for a while and I just finally found reason enough to post. Sorry if it is another girl thread. My Girlfriend went out with a guy for years when she was about 17/18 in highschool who fucked her up real bad (she is now 24, I am 25) - telling her to quit smoking and to either choose smoking or him blah blah etc then she broke it off with him and didn't talk to him for years. Early last year she got together with him and told him how much he hurt her back than and he had no idea and apologised (he had a girl at the time, she was still single) Ok, now I've been dating this girl since a few months after that and everything has been great.On Sunday she mentions how there was some antismoking thing on tv and it got her thinking to quit. Then she brought up the story of how this ex used to be so hard on her to quit and all that stuff.. Now, yesterday, she is online and she tells me he came online to talk to her, to say that he was putting together a photo scrapbook and found pics of him and her and got to remembering stuff and just wanted to tell her (again) how sorry he was for hurting her. She tells me how nice this makes her feel. I then ask why he would find it necessary to apologize again & remind her this much later unless he really still had feelings for her or whatever? That whole photo scrapbook thing seems like a sham to me, I don't know him so I cannot judge - but it seems a bit too coincidental. She then says for me to believe her that he didn't mean it like that to which I then start asking her to look at it objectively and she says she can't and that I'm overreacting and not respecting her feelings and trying to ruin it for her or something. Of course jealousy plays a role in this but I wasn't saying for her not to talk to him or anything - just questioning his motives.. Now she says I hurt her feelings and she is being all quiet on me. Am I overreacting? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by chojin I'd just trust the girl, if you feel you can. if she says theres nothing going on, then there isnt. depends on the girl though. id just leave it alone |
Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Grendel Now, yesterday, she is online and she tells me he came online to talk to her, to say that he was putting together a photo scrapbook and found pics of him and her and got to remembering stuff and just wanted to tell her (again) how sorry he was for hurting her. She tells me how nice this makes her feel. Am I overreacting? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by raek fuck her as many times as possible, then jettison |
Re: Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_ No way man, he's coming onto her again. They are having an online affair & she is having her e-pooper jolly well e-rodgered. My advise: you better take up smoking to deal with the stress of her leaving you. |
Re: Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Inertia if i were in your shoes, id just beat him at his own game. you have not overreacted, but she sees it that way. youve hurt her. so apologize. buy her flowers or something, go to her house, hug her, tell her you weren't aware of your actions, and that even though you may not share her opinion, you have to respect it, and to please forgive you. tell her you trust her, and trust is what you base your relationship on. that dude will be small potatoes next to you EDIT: also, id keep an eye on the situation fro afar. whatever he does, just top it. not that hard to do. if she's really worth it, he won't be much competition anwyays. |
Re: Re: Re: my girlfriend and her ex - need some advice plz
| quote: |
| Originally posted by ChemEnhanced +1 Let's be honest...the only reason he is even talking to her is in hopes of getting laid. All he is going to do is feed off the emotions she is feeling right now and play the friend thing and bring up all the great times they had. Unfortunately, like most women she is probably too trusting and actually believes that this guy just wants to be friends. I can't think of many guys who actually start talking to a girl and hang out with a girl because they want to be friends....guys start hanging out with women in hopes to get laid. For girls...they love having male friends...and I bet most women here have more male friends then female friends. A male friend can give you all the comforts of a relationship but you can still go out and bang all the hot guys you want. |
Bonjourno!
as much as everyone might bash a relationship thread, i f0kin love them!
Ok well, my opinion:
Listen if she's been torn up about something her whole life...and now things seem to be coming to terms with that, of course she will feel nice. 
maybe all that baggage she had is now mending itself.
Now, I can't predict what she will do. Will she just appreciate it for what its worth, moving on and finally having a real relationship, a whole relationship (with you hopefully). ORrrrrr, and its what you're fearing.....Will she be happy that he is apologizing, see it as a possible attempt that he is reaching out to her, and she will take it....therein leaving you
You can't predict that. Either way, what is best for her.....
think about that.
also think, how is your relationship revolving around this?
I say, before you mention anything to her again....assess yourself before you assess her.
Is she who you want to be with?
If yer just chillin and wasting your time, and she's a great lay....meh ok, ride it out, and just make sure to bang her a few hundred times 
Otherwise, if its love........fight the good fight
Mar-23-2004 21:11
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Mr. Pink yep! relax she's playing some BS with you plus you might just want to chill. jealousy just means you care, make sure she knows that. the thing about jealousy is it makes people feel suffocated, or unfree. whateva all you need to do is fark her good tonight and it'll be chillin |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Mr. Pink Bonjourno! as much as everyone might bash a relationship thread, i f0kin love them! Ok well, my opinion: Listen if she's been torn up about something her whole life...and now things seem to be coming to terms with that, of course she will feel nice. maybe all that baggage she had is now mending itself. Now, I can't predict what she will do. Will she just appreciate it for what its worth, moving on and finally having a real relationship, a whole relationship (with you hopefully). ORrrrrr, and its what you're fearing.....Will she be happy that he is apologizing, see it as a possible attempt that he is reaching out to her, and she will take it....therein leaving you You can't predict that. Either way, what is best for her..... think about that. also think, how is your relationship revolving around this? I say, before you mention anything to her again....assess yourself before you assess her. Is she who you want to be with? If yer just chillin and wasting your time, and she's a great lay....meh ok, ride it out, and just make sure to bang her a few hundred times Otherwise, if its love........fight the good fight |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_ |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Mr. Pink am i too drunk to be on c0r now? cuz seriously, tell me and i'll leave to my local forum |
I laughed out really loud with your second year & a half later post.
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