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Is Love Worth It?

1st off this is my 1st post. I do love trance and all other kinds of music. Just thought I would add that for no reason. I have a BIG problem. Need help. Im in the Tampa Bay area. Im 29 yrs old. My GF is 22 yrs old. She is absolutly beautiful no question about it. When she was 14 This guy asked her out. She said no at 1st but he persisted. He was black. She never had sex before but after him always beggin for it she said she gave in 3x, even though she said he never got it in. The next 5 guys she slept with were all black. She said it was never a preferance. Im wondering is this a new fad in school? Is everyone wanting a mixed relationship? Are white guys losers now? When I met her she was 18. We have been together for 4 yrs now. But it still bothers me and Im not sure why. Im not a racist or anything. What do you guys think. What is it like in high school these days?

im also a loser too

????? Are you serious about that????? Well i haven't heard about any 'fad' about mixed relationships. To be honest thats kinds dumb if thats what people are doing in your area. i noticed that was your first post i think i cant reall remember untill i see it again but yeah welcome to TA and dont worry about anything like that....

well, first of, welcome to TA!

in regards to your question...hrmm thats a pretty interesting thought..im 15 in high school. Well, I myself (im chinese, and if any of you are, you can probably relate), I'm not really "allowed" to "love" anyone of the other race, but i dont usually care. i like a bunch of girls who are white. in fact, no body in our school really does care about the race of the person they like. i dbout its a preference...i think its more like... uhm..a...racial tolerance sorta thing (probably isnt the best wording)..if this thread goes on, ill be interested to see what others have to say.

I don't think there's a problem with two people of different races dating each other. Sure it looks awkward...but its two people who love each other and thats what matters. We're all people, we just look different and isn't everybody different in some way or another? People who think that it is wrong have the wrong idea and I would call them racist.

I haven't seen a fad of this kind of dating but there's only 3 or 4 black people in my school...its about 99% white.

Coincidence!!!!
I don't think that there is a better word for this.
I myself have slept with a few girls who were not the same race as me and I don't see nothing wrong with it. I mean we are all human aren't we?

Yep, most of us.

Though I do have my doubts about Palivar......

Well as always..welcome aboard. And regarding to your topic...dating someone of a different race does not have anything of strange IMO, maybe it's just this globalization thing..dunno much about it

havent seen this fad at all (however im not in school anymore), and dont pay much attention to race anyway.

nothing wrong with mixed relationships imo. dont make no nevamind

i did go out with a girl from s. korea (she moved here 7 years ago) and i didn't see anything different about it. the only thing was opposition from her parents cos they were traditional and wanted her to have an asian bf...neither of us cared tho.

oh ya welcome to ta

Ever think that you're the one showing the preference by only dating white girls? For most people it's not a fad or a preference coz it's not even an issue.

After 4 years it still bothers u? Then u r making problem of nothing!!!
She slept with 5 guys in 4 years, met you and stays with YOU the last 4 years...
I don't think that the white guy here is a loser...

damn good topic....

Actually i had an ex-girlfriend awhile back that had slept with a black guy.... i could never bring myself to sleep with her though...

Its not that i'm racist, b/c i'm not... 45% of my friends are black. Its just some weird mental block... this mental picture. Maybe it is a subconcious thought of racism, and if it is, i am pretty pathetic. Has anyone else had this similar situation with similar result? (i.e. a girlfriend that had slept with a black before and you couldn't bring yourself to sleep with her...?)

otherwise... touchy subject. Trying not to make it ugly...

-ABT-

quote:

Originally posted by ABTsportsline damn good topic.... Actually i had an ex-girlfriend awhile back that had slept with a black guy.... i could never bring myself to sleep with her though... Its not that i'm racist, b/c i'm not... 45% of my friends are black. Its just some weird mental block... this mental picture. Maybe it is a subconcious thought of racism, and if it is, i am pretty pathetic. Has anyone else had this similar situation with similar result? (i.e. a girlfriend that had slept with a black before and you couldn't bring yourself to sleep with her...?) otherwise... touchy subject. Trying not to make it ugly... -ABT-

i know what u mean abt...its just the way whites r...i feel kinda the same but if i really liked a girl wouldnt NOT do anything just cos shed bin with black.whites r bound 2 prefer other whites most of the time co sit swhat they r bought up 2 like and most girls ARE white...as 4 me bein a JW im only allowed 2 date other JW girls 2. it doesnt really bother me though cos there are some way georgeous girls im friendly with who id NEVER have the chance with i real life..so u neva no. as 4 every1 else it shouldnt matter about ANYTHIN as long as love is there.thats the only real thing that matters at the start.
and btw

welcome aboard TA

martijn

i like all women and animals

Does fad mean, it isn't rarely anymore, so it happens more nowdays. If that is the word then you are not the only one. Here in the district Rotterdam almost all the blond girls in clubs are falling on black guys. There is nothing to do about it.

Welcome on the board dude

unless u forget the past you will never have a future. Forget yesterday, live for today, look forward to tomorrow.....

quote:

Originally posted by ABTsportsline Actually i had an ex-girlfriend awhile back that had slept with a black guy.... i could never bring myself to sleep with her though... Its not that i'm racist, b/c i'm not...

ROFL! God forbid you ever have kids mate

quote:

Originally posted by Dj Martijn i know what u mean abt...its just the way whites r...

er no mate, not all of us. Though I'm starting to think maybe I'm in a minority.

Re: Is Love Worth It?

quote:

Originally posted by trip2go she said she gave in 3x

Hey!
Ever watched that movie, American Pie 2?
Remember what they said...
"If a girl tells you she slept with one boy, take that number and multiply it by 3. If a boy tells you he slept with three girls, take that number and divide it by 3, then subtract 1."

quote:

Originally posted by Spad ROFL! God forbid you ever have kids mate

hum although i dont like ABT... i feel the same way.
but bro it is like who cares...
if you in love with this girl now, then nothing else should matter, you keep having your mind in the past,you gonna fuck up your relationship...
i dont know what i would do but i know what you are saying.

quote:

Originally posted by Dj Martijn i know what u mean abt...its just the way whites r...i feel kinda the same but if i really liked a girl wouldnt NOT do anything just cos shed bin with black.whites r bound 2 prefer other whites most of the time co sit swhat they r bought up 2 like and most girls ARE white...as 4 me bein a JW im only allowed 2 date other JW girls 2. it doesnt really bother me though cos there are some way georgeous girls im friendly with who id NEVER have the chance with i real life..so u neva no. as 4 every1 else it shouldnt matter about ANYTHIN as long as love is there.thats the only real thing that matters at the start. and btw welcome aboard TA martijn

ugh...that's just the way whites are? I think certain people are brought up to only view their on race as attractive.... but don't lump me as well as millions of others into that category....you being a JW that's a religious thing...totally different then a racial thing....I mean it's one thing to say you want to date someone with the same religious beliefs as you...fine....but for peeps to not date someone just based on the color of their skin...without knowing who they really are is just crazy.... I have dated all white guys...but I would date anyone I found attractive and had fun with..... attractiveness comes in many shapes and sizes...

And to the boys with the problems about the current g/f and the ex who slept with black guy(s)...get over it....why should it bother you anymore then that same gurl sleeping with a white guy....black people are human...its not like she slept with an animal!

Here's what i think:
I AM seeing alot more interracial relationships, but there's nothing wrong with it. But at my school most of the black guys are going for white girls strictly for sex, and sometimes turn the tightest girls into the biggest sluts. any relationship is ok if there's love involved in it, but if it's more of a "friend with benefits", then i see it as being a waste of time.
And also, i think that you might just be upset about the "pressure" part of when she was 14. This could mean that you truly love her, which is good. I myself don't really like hearing about my gf's ex-bfs, i don't know why but it bothers me. it pisses me off when she says shit like "i fucked him once, but it meant nothing". there's some things that i'd rather not know.

quote:

Originally posted by Spad /-/For most people it's not a fad or a preference coz it's not even an issue.

true true...good point...thats the way it should be

Well I think it's natural for people to be more inclined to be attacted to someone of their own race than to someone of a different race, but it doesn't justify this sort of paranoia that I'm seeing here. Does it really matter if your girlfriend has slept with black men or not? Would you still feel the same way if she'd told you that she'd slept with white guys instead? Does it really matter either way? I think Twilochik got it right:

quote:

for peeps to not date someone just based on the color of their skin...without knowing who they really are is just crazy.... I have dated all white guys...but I would date anyone I found attractive and had fun with..... attractiveness comes in many shapes and sizes...

While I think it's perfectly natural to be more inclined to date someone of your own race (due to social, possibly biological reasons), if someone comes along who fits your idea of the kind of person you want to be with, then race shouldn't matter. Some people find white skin to be an attractive quality, some find black skin to be more attractive. Neither are right or wrong, it's just all part of the rich tapestry of humanity. Vive le difference.

Re: Is Love Worth It?

quote:

Originally posted by trip2go 1st off this is my 1st post. I do love trance and all other kinds of music. Just thought I would add that for no reason. I have a BIG problem. Need help. Im in the Tampa Bay area. Im 29 yrs old. My GF is 22 yrs old. She is absolutly beautiful no question about it. When she was 14 This guy asked her out. She said no at 1st but he persisted. He was black. She never had sex before but after him always beggin for it she said she gave in 3x, even though she said he never got it in. The next 5 guys she slept with were all black. She said it was never a preferance. Im wondering is this a new fad in school? Is everyone wanting a mixed relationship? Are white guys losers now? When I met her she was 18. We have been together for 4 yrs now. But it still bothers me and Im not sure why. Im not a racist or anything. What do you guys think. What is it like in high school these days?

Firstly you say this is a BIG problem, yet this all happened before you started dating.. Why is that a problem them, are you insecure with your relationship, do you fear she will ditch you and go for a black guy just because she had some sex with black guys in the past?

I'm just unsure how to respond, your title is "Is love worth it?" and of course the answer to that is yes.. Its like me asking "Is life worth it?"...

But I think by your statements that you just can't let the fact she slept with black guys go.. Either you are somewhat racist, or you are insecure and fear that she will eventually tire of the white guy and go back to black... Either way, if you love her you'll not even concern yourself with the past, since you can't do anything about it anyways.

If I were you I'd also never discuss that you think about her past sexual partners and are even concerned about it... No doubt she will not enjoy discussing it, and will wonder why it bothers you too much.

If you truly love her, you wouldn't even worry about this BS, because Love is based on trust and I think that may be something you need to work on....

Of course I don't know the whole facts, but from what you say, I think this is rather silly you even wondering about this...

Good luck, and welcome to TA

there's nothing weird about dat now and days, but women, ahhhhhh i dont know ne more, i guess she just stook 2 black ppl..fuck i dont know, but i know dat all men r equal

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