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-- In a final attempt to make you guys laugh
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In a final attempt to make you guys laugh
One morning after she woke up from sleeping all night, a woman told her husband ...
... "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary today. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he replied.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION:
They're tiny women in little fur coats.
Why Airplanes Are Easier to Live with than Women:
* Airplanes usually kill you quickly whereas a woman takes her time.
* Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
* Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.
* Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.
* Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
* Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
* Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
* Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
* Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
* Airplanes expect to be tied down.
* Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
* Airplanes aren't pregnant when they're late.
* Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
However, just like women, airplanes are expensive to operate and it usually means trouble if they suddenly go quiet.
Re: In a final attempt to make you guys laugh
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Kamikaze Badger One morning after she woke up from sleeping all night, a woman told her husband ... ... "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary today. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he replied. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams." What is a Cat? 1. Cats do what they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. When you want to play, they want to be alone. 5. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 6. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 7. They're moody. 8. They leave hair everywhere. CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats. Why Airplanes Are Easier to Live with than Women: * Airplanes usually kill you quickly whereas a woman takes her time. * Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch. * Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection. * Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation. * Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations. * Airplanes don't come with in-laws. * Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time. * Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes. * Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines. * Airplanes expect to be tied down. * Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills. * Airplanes aren't pregnant when they're late. * Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong. However, just like women, airplanes are expensive to operate and it usually means trouble if they suddenly go quiet. |
Did you make that joke up yourself? It's horrible.
Where does the pearl necklace come in to play? It doesn't.
Now I'm pissed. Bad jokes suck.
Yeah that first one sucked...
I think it should have been something like,
There was a necklace in the box and the only reasone he got that is cause she reminded him it was their anniversary.
Or thats how i thought it was gonna turn out.
too many words. You failed.
http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/arc...20husband%20...
| quote: |
| Originally posted by gwrmarines Yeah that first one sucked... I think it should have been something like, There was a necklace in the box and the only reasone he got that is cause she reminded him it was their anniversary. Or thats how i thought it was gonna turn out. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by UWM Did you make that joke up yourself? It's horrible. Where does the pearl necklace come in to play? It doesn't. Now I'm pissed. Bad jokes suck. |
Wouldn't it be great if spontaneously 3 of the forums most annoying members went down in one fell swoop in the same thread?
Tempting ... but no.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by UWM Or it should've gone something like Delighted, she opened it only to find an empty box. Upon her asking, "Where is the necklace?", he promply shot a load on her and said "Right there!" |
hahaha someone thats more of a noob than me 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by UWM Or it should've gone something like Delighted, she opened it only to find an empty box. Upon her asking, "Where is the necklace?", he promply shot a load on her and said "Right there!" |
Whats up with some of you, I get the first joke, she had a drea about a necklace and she wanted to know what it means, so he got her a book titled The Meaning Of Dreams, it couldn't be any simpler, I even **chuckled** when I read it.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Electronicmaji hahaha someone thats more of a noob than me |
I thought it was ok. But a better long joke is this one.....
Her Side of the Story:
He was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a pub for a drink, I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was still acting a bit funny, so I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no but I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything, this is really worrying me. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV and sat with a distant look in his eyes that seemed to say 'its all over between us'. Reluctantly, I said I was going to bed, then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise he responded to my advances and we made love. But he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he is seeing someone else and that my life is a disaster.
His side of the story:
*England lost. Got a shag though.
*edit hehe
Dervish: now THATS a fuckin joke.
Except change Scotland for England.
i think we should all give kamakazebadger a break...everybodys been a noob at one point...ive just never seen someone try so hard. thing is its hard for people to act better or be funnier when everyone is bitchin them out or dissing them. give one more chance i say..whos with me...go ahead and flame, but im gunna stand by what i say. and belive me, i realize he has mad some STUUUUUPID threads. but everyone deserves another chance.
kamakaze, the joke wasnt THAT funny. dont try so hard!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by twisted420 i think we should all give kamakazebadger a break...everybodys been a noob at one point...ive just never seen someone try so hard. thing is its hard for people to act better or be funnier when everyone is bitchin them out or dissing them. give one more chance i say..whos with me...go ahead and flame, but im gunna stand by what i say. and belive me, i realize he has mad some STUUUUUPID threads. but everyone deserves another chance. kamakaze, the joke wasnt THAT funny. dont try so hard! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Prodigy Child I'm with ya, I've done some stupid ass things, just most of them weren't on the internet, but yea, we were all n00bs at one point, there was one time that I thought DJ Jean - The Launch was a good track, same with Perfect Phase - Horny Horns.....wait Horny Horns ROCKS, ITS PARTY TIME TIME TIME TIME......REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
the necklace one was good me thinks
Euhmm....sorry dude. Go make friends in real life.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 Euhmm....sorry dude. Go make friends in real life. |
Meh, screw you all, I want an airplane.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Nou I WANT TO GOTO BED!!!! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Prodigy Child Umm I don't think hes tryin to make friends (I hope), wouldn't be to great if most your friends were a bunch of pics with some text. |
Why would I want to live with an airplane?
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