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Funniest story involving...

POOP.

Whatchya Got?

I know SOMEONE out there has GOT to have at least ONE poop story.

OH, come ON people.

I'll tell one to get this scat party started.

hehe

I will begin this by telling you all that I have ulcerative colitis... meaning sometimes I just gotta GO. Don't matter where.

Well, I was going jogging in my neighborhood in Dallas with one of my girlfriends when the urge struck me.

Yes. Jogging down Southwestern in the Village in Dallas. NICE>

What do I do? DO I panic?

NOOOOOOOOOO

I drop my draws and I poop right there. Right there for everyone else jogging and walking their dogs and driving by to see.

Hey. When you gotta go. You gotta go.

No, I didn't finish my run. I hadda go clean mah ass.

TMI, but.

Yeah.

Gross.

Deleted...

OK, no more you wanker!


[[[smoke]]]

Illusiv ft Simone - Trapped

Umm yeah you might want to take that picture down.


Just a suggestion.

Um, this thread was for funny stories.

Not for some fucktard to post a gross pic. UGH.

Two more minutes.

Okay, bye.

quote:

Originally posted by Jiffy Um, this thread was for funny stories. Not for some fucktard to post a gross pic. UGH.

ha, fucktard...


eh well my old roommate was 6'9" and he left teh largest poos ever. I mean, huge, these could choke a donkey.


First time I saw one was freshmen year in college, he opens the bathroom door and says there might be something wrong with the toilet....I look to see the largest, and by largest I mean width and length, poo peeking over the edge of our large toilet bowl....


I still ahve that image burned into my head....


there is also another story.....but I can only type so much at a time....

quote:

Originally posted by UWM Okay, bye.

why did ya wait, should have auto-banned, he doesn't look back at threads this quick anyways.

Speaking of big poos.

One of my cousins... OMG

She used to have to cut her logs up with a butterknife before she could flush.

I kid you not, they had a knife in the cabinet below the sink.

quote:

Originally posted by Jiffy Speaking of big poos. One of my cousins... OMG She used to have to cut her logs up with a butterknife before she could flush. I kid you not, they had a knife in the cabinet below the sink.

Believe me, nobody wants to hear about somebody cutting their poo.



in b4 da lock.

When I was a kid (really small), my parents had invited some friends for dinner or something. I was utterly mad because I wanted to watch TV or something, and I couldn't because the TV was in the dining room.

So, during the meal, when they were saying the prairs (sp?) and stuff, I hid under the table for a while and ran away. Soon, the adults who were happily eating their food noticed a strange smell. My mother looked under the table and, ta-da, I had relieved myself on someone's shoes.

----///---

A schoolmate had to desperately go to the restroom launch some submarines and, after he was set and ready to go (trousers down and everything), the toilet paper was above the cabinet's door. He was struggling to reach that thing, as if his life depended on it. Unfortunately, his wisdom was not enough to do one thing at a time - when he was about to put his hands on the toilet paper, one of the bombs missed the target, and it hit the floor dry and hard. Luckily enough, when he lost his balance, noticing the mess he had just done, he stomped on that brown sculpture and it then got a huge "nike" logo in it (it was the brand of his tennis shoes). Embarassed, he got out as soon as possible, leaving his cute footprints behind all over the floor.

Depending on how you look at the nike logo, it may look like as a "c" and as an "u" - to his disaster, C and U in Portuguese means "c�" (arsehole). Then, during the break, the Janitor started yelling at the students asking who the hell had written "Arsehole" in the floor... and when all of us entered the restroom - well, from the entrance it did look like "c�"... the guy walked to the janitor and apologised, being known afterwards as "Man�" (in this case used as a short of "Nike Marrom" (Brown Nike)).

In the first grade I shit in my pants in front of the entire classroom...
The teacher just sent me home to save me from further embarrasment
and no I didn't get a nickname after that

quote:

Originally posted by Jiffy Speaking of big poos. One of my cousins... OMG She used to have to cut her logs up with a butterknife before she could flush. I kid you not, they had a knife in the cabinet below the sink.

he you set up my next story....


Once we moved out of the dorms and into a small house with a little toilet, he had to use our plastic forks to cut em up...



hehe, and a couple of times he threw the platic fork into the annoying neighbors backyard....hehe


that neighbors dog would get sick frequently, we don't know why.

quote:

Originally posted by Boomer187 why did ya wait, should have auto-banned, he doesn't look back at threads this quick anyways.

I was going to give a chance to take it down. Leniency or something.

we had an alcoholic redneck guy live across from us last year in our apt at school.
We came back from eating out, and he was super drunk. in fact at the resturant, they cut off his beer supply, but he made us buy some more stuff for him

so anyways we get home and he goes in his apt and we lived right across the way, 10 minutes later his roommate comes and bangs on our door

"you guys gotta see this!!!" he was saying laughing his ass off, so we go next door and he takes us to the bathroom, where there he was, passed out in the middle of taking a poo

only he passed out and fell over in the bathtub and there with his head down, ass up, poo all over his rump and in the toilet.

It was so nasty but so funny at the same time

A couple weeks ago me and my platoon are out running around Fort Carson in the morning. My buddy Corey started complaining to me that he really had to shit. I laughed and encouraged him to forgit about it because he couldnt shit anywhere anyway...not portapotties and there were females everywhere that day.

As we run further he starts complaining worse...he tries to tell our squad leader that he had to shit really bad....but SGT Rod chewed him out and made him keep running.

LOL...

I leave Corey behind to deal with SGT Rod (didnt have a choice) and I catch up to my other buddies in my platoon who ran ahead of us...I look back and see Corey and Sgt Rod walking...and Coreys facial expression was absolutely priceless.

SGT Rod is laughing...then we all started laughing...Corey ran inside one of the buildings to "clean up"...

We later ask him wtf happened...he said he just couldnt hold it in and had to let it go...

A day in the life of the US Army.

My only good poo story is taking a dump on the front porch of a rival fraternity on a dare.

I'm lucky I didn't get my ass handed to me for that one.

Pun intended.

OK, so EVERYBODY wants to hear about somebody cutting their poo.

I don't know about you guys but I'm laughing my ass off at that.

quote:

Originally posted by NinetyNinety OK, so EVERYBODY wants to hear about somebody cutting their poo.

Oh come ON. You mean to tell me that if you had a friend of yours telling you a story like..."OMG and I hadda go poo poo SOOOOOOOOOO bad... I had to go through this misadventure, and this one... only to not succeed in getting to the toilet and I poo'd myself"

It's freaking hilarious.

I poop every day like most folks. I can make it humorous, but it's generally a fact of life. So, if I shit out a window, I guess that would ber funny here?

quote:

Originally posted by emander I poop every day like most folks. I can make it humorous, but it's generally a fact of life. So, if I shit out a window, I guess that would ber funny here?

Especially if it hit somebody.

quote:

Originally posted by UWM I was going to give a chance to take it down. Leniency or something.

Are you gettign soft on us...?



if you are I am gonna throw some poo at you.

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