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Being nice
A few recent immigrants have recently told me their thoughts on niceness in Canada. Their conclusion? That people are nt very nice and in fact are down right cold. The reason? well it seems that when you are nice people take advantage of you like crazy.
This is absolutely true. It was a wierd change living overseas where EVERYONE seemed to be overwhelmingly nice and didnt expect anything in return. The hardest part was trying to keep up with the niceness since growing up in Canada numbs you to it.
I compare my old apartment in Argentina that had 5 other apartments in the building. When i moved in the neighbours knocked on the door to welcome me. One neighbour who was very poor baked me a cake before she even knew who i was. The neighbours kids came over all the time for peanut butter sandwiches and kool ade (2 things i brought with me that dont exist in argentina).
Ive lived in my new place for 3 weeks now and there are 25 apartments in this building. The one neighbour i did run into practically ran away when i said hello to them. The only person who knocked on my door was trying to sell me gas (i have electric and no gas LOL). Im still waiting for my cake too. The only kids ive seen are 10 year olds smoking up under the stairs in the lobby.
Its sad
Interesting point Jay.......perhaps you are right. The perception of "being nice equals being a sucker" idea you mention doesn't need to be the case but I agree many mistake the two as one and the same. Be kind and if someone is taking advantage then just have the balls to tell them.
I think a lot of it is values and lifestyle. Most here are too focused on the rate race and all the toys/cars etc etc. Notice when the blackout occured last year how, once snapped from the spell of TV and all the other thousand daily distractions, everyone seemed to shake off the ice and it was like the world's biggest small town. Everyone on their steps talking and laughing with neighbors they didn't even know they had.......we shouldn't forget to be like that more often.
Another fact is that canadian society sees niceness as a form of weakness whereas other societies see niceness and community as a source of strength and unity.
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| Originally posted by Form&Funktion Notice when the blackout occured last year how, once snapped from the spell of TV and all the other thousand daily distractions, everyone seemed to shake off the ice and it was like the world's biggest small town. Everyone on their steps talking and laughing with neighbors they didn't even know they had.......we shouldn't forget to be like that more often. |
Come to any poor country and you'll see everybody helping each other out. Only this way they can survive.
If we in Canada were poor too, trust me, everybody would be helping each other out. It's a nature of people.
ive had a few overseas visitors this summer and theyve all mentioned how "nice" everyone generally is over here...granted theyre coming from the US and the UK where its alot harder to get a simple smile from a random person walkin down the street.
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| Originally posted by Durafei Come to any poor country and you'll see everybody helping each other out. Only this way they can survive. If we in Canada were poor too, trust me, everybody would be helping each other out. It's a nature of people. |
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| Originally posted by ShadoWolf I would think being poor makes you more concerned about your own survival, and hence greedier. |
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| Originally posted by ShadoWolf I would think being poor makes you more concerned about your own survival, and hence greedier. |
Can anybody say, go go go, life style? I think thats the main problem. In Western cultures(UK, USA, CDN) people are very career oriented, and so much effort is placed on efficency. In other cultures, there is a more laid back attitude, and therefore they are not as 'advanced' as us.
What would you rather have:
An 'advnaced' society, such as ours
or an 'developing' society, where people are 'nicer'
its all about how you look at it. I think people are plenty nice here, to be honest. When im out biking or walking, people say hello all the time.
A cake?
That's awesome.
I think that might be more so in the Toronto area that anywhere else in Canada.
Being orginally from B.C. I can tell you that the attitudes between here and there are like night and day.
I don't know why the attitudes seem so cold here but you can find friendly people if you look.
The problem is, people aren't as forthcoming and you have to look to start with... 
Defences are always up and I suppose that could come with just being in an area with a higher population? Higher percentage of wackos maybe? meh...
Personally I never judge and treat everyone as a friend unless they do something to change my mind...
We live in a north american society, where everyone acts like they have a dildo up their pooper and stays away from everyone. They think everyone is out to get them/screw them over in any way they can, so they stay shelted in their homes, watching tv and hug all their wonderful property.
You knock on your neighbour's door, they answer with "WHAT?"
Generalizing obviously, but still.
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| Originally posted by Durafei Nope. When you are poor you essentially have nothing. The only way to survive is by sharing with others. |
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| Originally posted by Orko Can anybody say, go go go, life style? I think thats the main problem. In Western cultures(UK, USA, CDN) people are very career oriented, and so much effort is placed on efficency. In other cultures, there is a more laid back attitude, and therefore they are not as 'advanced' as us. |
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| Originally posted by Fir3start3r Not sure if I'd make that connection, but the European mantra of, "Working to Live" instead of our N.A., "Living to Work" attitude is noticeable... |
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| Originally posted by Durafei Come to any poor country and you'll see everybody helping each other out. Only this way they can survive. If we in Canada were poor too, trust me, everybody would be helping each other out. It's a nature of people. |
I agree with Jayx1 on this one..
Coming from South America, I've noticed this as well and I'm sure it's similar in other poor regions.
There is a different type of friendliness in Canada. Here, people will hold the door for you, smile and say good morning while walking down the street, yet you can live years in a neighborhood and not even know your neighbor�s first name.
In most South American countries, it's the opposite. I can't remember people holding the door for me nor strangers saying good morning, yet I remember we knew our neighbors very well. We knew them to the point of sometimes knowing what they were cooking on certain days 
. We would share a lot of things, from food to clothes, to books or even a simple chat in the evening sitting by the side of the road.
As stated before, I think necessity played a role in making it a closer community at that micro level.
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| Originally posted by NightCreature Really??? Russians are poor and yet you don't see them helping each other out... |
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| Originally posted by Durafei They do. |
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| Originally posted by NightCreature You are just saying this. I've been to Moscow not long ago, I know how it is. Corruption on all levels; no respect for the elderly; Teenage alcoholics drinking on the streets; thieves everywhere; Thank goodness I'm living in Canada! |
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| Originally posted by Durafei First of all, Moscow is not Russia. Well, it's Russia, but life in Moscow is much much much different from life anywhere else in Russia. On the global level yes, Russia is corrupted etc.. But generally people are a lot less "cold" then they are in Canada. |
Re: Being nice
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| Originally posted by Jayx1 A few recent immigrants have recently told me their thoughts on niceness in Canada. Their conclusion? That people are nt very nice and in fact are down right cold. |
Yeah just like the kid (14 years of age) who made the news today for returning a store owner $2,000+ he had found (in an envelope) laying around in an aisle while shopping for milk....
In return; the store owner rewards him with a reeses pieces & squirt gun............................... wow.
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| Originally posted by ++ EGO ++ Yeah just like the kid (14 years of age) who made the news today for returning a store owner $2,000+ he had found (in an envelope) laying around in an aisle while shopping for milk.... In return; the store owner rewards him with a reeses pieces & squirt gun............................... wow. |
I mean seriously? Nice? What the hell is nice?
The word "nice" is such a shitty word in the modern English language. It's the ultimate copout word. It doesn�t really mean anything. You can say phrases such as �That�s nice.�. �It�s�. nice� �I think he�s nice�, and it wouldn�t really tell you anything concrete or definite. It really doesn�t say anything much about what you are thinking or even if you are thinking at all. The term �nice guy� can apply to everyone in the fucking world.
Look. True �nice guys� are hard to find. �Nice� people in general are hard to find. I�m not �nice�. I wouldn�t want to be described as �nice�. But you know instantly when someone is a genuine completely hundred-percent-so-help-me-god nice when you meet them. It�s that guy with the impeccable grooming that not only gives a buck to a homeless guy, but takes him to Denny�s and then talks to him with genuine interest. It�s mother Theresa. It�s the mother who takes in foster kids. And so on. Truly �nice people� are easily found and everyone knows who they are�well if you know a lot of people. It�s very probable in your circle of friends and relatives that there is not one �nice� person. It�s the guy or girl, that no matter who it is says, �Oh, he�s nice� or �She�s really a nice person�.
Take this short quiz, give your self a point for every true sentence:
�All of my family generally and mainly refers to me as a nice guy/girl when describing me.� (Other positive attributes may be named, as long as they ALWAYS bring up the word �nice�)
�A friend of mine who I have known for more than 4 years generally and mainly refers to me as a nice guy/girl when talking to people about me.� (Other positive attributes may be named, as long as they ALWAYS bring up the word �nice�)
�I have helped someone that I have never met before and will never meet again without expecting anything in return on more than a few occasions this year, and this activity was not part of a �group� effort. It was purely an individual altruistic action�
�I have never said a negative statement about anyone in the past month. That includes my parents, my friends, my teachers, policemen, homeless, and any other groups of people�.
�I generally feel bad when I am forced to say negative things about anyone, privately or publicly, even if everyone says they deserved it.�
I bet you, Jayx1 would score 0 on this quiz.
So therefore, it's highly improbable that you are a "nice guy".
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