The Ant and the Grasshopper --- Canadian Style

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-- The Ant and the Grasshopper --- Canadian Style

Posted by Jayx1 on Aug-06-2004 02:02:

The Ant and the Grasshopper --- Canadian Style

Subject: The Ant & The Grasshopper

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE CANADIAN MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. CBC shows up to provide
live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that The ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for An immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." In response to polls,
the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company. The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the Government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10 million. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the TorontoStar blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from
social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's
multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community

Posted by MarkT on Aug-06-2004 02:21:

That's pretty funny...what a clever Conservative...full of shit, mind you, but clever nonetheless

Posted by Little John on Aug-06-2004 03:18:

I liked that so much, it prompted me to post on this message board.

Posted by Fir3start3r on Aug-06-2004 13:18:

Sad but true...

Why don't people ever realize it's the business people that create jobs??

and oh yea, freedom isn't free...

Posted by USMC_Greg on Aug-06-2004 14:00:

nice

Posted by Orko on Aug-06-2004 14:16:

pretty clever

im sorry to be one having to say this Jayx1, but this totally relates to your other thread about race.

quote:
The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.

but who are the grasshoppers supposed to be?

Posted by Fir3start3r on Aug-06-2004 18:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Orko
but who are the grasshoppers supposed to be?

That's pretty easy.
Their the one's that figure that their "entitled" to everything and look to government assistance and hand-outs...

It's all in the name of equality you know...

Posted by DigiNut on Aug-06-2004 19:41:

quote:
Originally posted by Orko
but who are the grasshoppers supposed to be?

I'm sure it's not intended to refer to any specific group. Although it wouldn't surprise me if many people decide they know which group it is and that the story is really racist. Who was it that told Jay he should be working for a white supremacist newspaper? Hahaha...

Well I don't agree with that guy about a lot of things but that one really brought a tear to my eye. Great contribution!

But somebody, please, think of the children! Think of the needy! Of the deranged mentally unstable homeless, of the underprivileged criminals who can't afford lawyers, of the deadbeat dads who can't afford their alimony payments and welfare moms who've forgotten how to get real jobs, and of the vast array of lazy underachieving pop culture stereotypes who get promoted through life by constant complaining!

(I think those were the people the article was talking about)

Posted by Orko on Aug-06-2004 20:03:

quote:
Originally posted by Fir3start3r
That's pretty easy.
Their the one's that figure that their "entitled" to everything and look to government assistance and hand-outs...

It's all in the name of equality you know...

thats how i would like to look at it, because there are way too many people who believe that they are entitled to handouts without contributing anything.