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Posted by Millsyy2k on Aug-31-2004 09:39:

Feeling Down

I've been feeling down a bit lately. I produce and DJ trance. Before i did this i was an accountant who really wanted to DJ and Produce trance, i worked hard for 5 years to qualify as a professional person so that i could give up the accountancy and do what i love. The problem is i have been wasting the time and i often feel like its an uphill battle. I know that being a top DJ/Producer is a dream and it will never be achieved without hard work and thats the problem : i have wasted so much time fucking around doing very little that the dream is slipping from my grasp and i am considering going back to accountancy and a life i hate living.

I just wondered if anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation or can relate to this and has some words of wisdom / motivation.

Millsy

Posted by Perfect_Cheezit on Aug-31-2004 09:46:

Cheer up homie. If you think you're wasting your time doing this, then you're not having alot of fun with it; and if it really is your dream then you should be having fun with it and the point becomes moot when it ceases to be fun. If financially it becomes a necessity to return to accounting, I say do it but you can still produce trance on the side as your hobby (again if you find it fun). Don't destroy yourself!

Posted by Millsyy2k on Aug-31-2004 10:30:

It is still fun and its not really due to finances. I think the problem is that i really want to be someone, to achieve something and i just cant handle the thought of being an average Joe. Thats the pressure, you see if i dont do well in this soon then i will have to focus my attention on accountancy so that i have enough time to climb to the top of that particular ladder. I'm 26 and DJ's and Producers need to be somewhere by 30 or give up (maybe people have a different viewpoint to this). All of my mates and my girlfriend are happy just living their lives and dont beat themselves up over this kind of thing (in many ways i wish i was like them)so i often feel isolated.

Shit, i hate to turn this into some kind of agony aunts page but i thought they may be a few people on here who have experienced this kind of thing.

Millsy.

Posted by Nell on Aug-31-2004 11:04:

everybody wants to be a significant somebody, to leave a legacy or something else to be remembered by. Most people in the world wont do that, you can only but try, but dont be upset if it doesn't work out. maybe your a bit too inwardly focused, perhaps revolving your life round your friends and family for a short while might help put things in perspective?!

-Nell

Posted by Millsyy2k on Aug-31-2004 11:09:

Cheers mate, I think that might be worth a try. I'm going for a holiday to America soon perhaps ill just let this shit go for a short while and then refocus when i get back.

Thanks

Millsy

Posted by Buddhistics on Aug-31-2004 11:13:

If you focus more on 'being someone' by the age of 30 or whatever rather than on what you're doing, you're probably not gonna get there. Look, you took a big risk in giving up something you had trained many years for to start DJing, which is doing something you love. That in itself makes you different, 'coz most 'ordinary joes' wouldn't have the guts or balls to do what you did. Now that you've done it, just focus on doing the best you can with it and (V.IMP!!!) enjoying yourself as much as you can, feeling the rush and the thrill that the music gives you. The hunger and adrenaline you have for doing this should in itself keep you goign for a while. Don't put a definite time stamp on it by saying you gotta be at such-and-such a stage by 30, 'coz it makes no difference if you get there even if you're 29 or 32 - you're still young! But if you ain't feeling good about it now, and constanly have other stuff goin' on in the back of your mind, then this is something you could probably attempt to do part time, while holding down a steady job on the other end. Just worry about what you can control and let everythin else be. Good luck with everything. Something WILL happen - you just do your thing, man

Posted by Millsyy2k on Aug-31-2004 11:21:

Wise words Buddhistics, i need to put more in to get more out. It's good to have some "outside" advice and im feeling more positive about things now.

Thanks for your help.

Millsy

Posted by |cEbLu3 on Aug-31-2004 14:23:

i agree with buddhistics. Don't limit yourself by setting time limits. If Djing is what you really want to do, and enjoy doing, you're gonna make it. Who cares if you're older than your peers, by then you'll go down in history as the first guy to make it at that age!! If you make just one truly great song, that touches just one person, you've achieved your goal of greatness.

Posted by Radagast on Aug-31-2004 15:11:

Let's see. You love producing/DJing trance yet doing it won't make you happy until you're famous/making much money off of it. That doesn't make sense. Seems like rather you love money and fame. Or am I looking at it the wrong way? Enlighten me if i'm wrong.

Posted by gabor3000gt on Aug-31-2004 15:53:

You should listen to Benjamin Bates' newest (and I think first) album, NEVERLETANYTHINGKILLTHEPLEASURE... there is this great track saying:

"This feeling is beautiful, filling you up when you are feeling down" ))

Cheer UP!

Posted by starlabs on Aug-31-2004 17:24:

Dude, you're doing something that you enjoy and love as a career. You realize how few people can actually say that??

Very little.

Count yourself blessed. Who cares about being famous? That's icing on the cake, and you got yourself one lovely cake. Enjoy. Life's too short, my friend.

Posted by Millsyy2k on Aug-31-2004 19:55:

No Radagast, its not money or fame, its the feeling of personal achievement. I set my goals high for what ever reason and it is the fear of failure that sometimes ruins my enjoyment of living the life i lead.

"Dude, you're doing something that you enjoy and love as a career. You realize how few people can actually say that??

Very little." Starlabs.

A good point, but i worked hard for this opportunity and unfortunately it isnt actually a career yet. I still dont even come close to making enough income to live independantly. I am supported by my very understanding girlfriend but that in itself creates social pressures.

Most days you just get your head down and work, but other days your not so strong, today was one of those days and i am grateful for the help some of you guys have given.

Thanks

Millsy

Posted by Massive84 on Aug-31-2004 20:32:

just get a job and dj and produce with it, Micro de govia has a normal job also if i remember correctly, that guy hardly produce like the most famous people, but he is considerd one of the best, if not THE best producer.(for me he is)

don't aim really high, youl be feeling down if you don't achive what you aimed for, me i want to get signed someday, would be cool if i have my own vinyl, but if i wake up each day thinking i want vinyl vinyl or fame fame, il loose all the fun in producing.

fun comes first imo.

When i start making a tune, if i really try fucking hard to make a nice melody or some atmosphere il always fail and it piss me off alot(am having this lately), but my top tunes came by just screwing around and i was just bored, thats how i made the melodies.

This era you have to be very special or lucky to become famous as a producer or dj, because everyone is doing it, you have to stand out, and thats why i say try to lead a normal life and do these things as a hobby and see how far you can come, but remember it's all for fun even if you fail.

If i never get signed, at least i learned alot about sound, how music works, i made great friends and i can say it's been a great Journey .

Posted by reverieX2 on Aug-31-2004 21:01:

I just want to say that i hope I'm still producing and DJing when i'm 26