So, I've slowly become what I had feared the most

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Posted by Lira on Sep-05-2004 02:54:

So, I've slowly become what I had feared the most

Here's a song to set the mood for this thread:

It's not trance.

Without noticing, we may end up becoming the things we fought the most. I had never planned, and I had not expected either. It just came.

I fought against it as much as I could, as I thought it was not a part of me. In fact, I thought it was the thing that had hurt me the most, and I still think it did. Somewhat like a virus, which you can't see. Just entered myself, and slowly, it could be seen by those who passed by. I just couldn't see it myself. I wasn't aware there was a mirror.

Nor could I notice there was one. That image looked familiar, but I just couldn't tell where it had come from. The same way ice can burn, remedies can kill and uplifting trance can be depressing: I found strenght in the weakness, or so it seemed.

Was I blind? Afraid, that's what I was, rather than blind. But I'm happy now. Happy and peaceful. Not sure whether this is the real me, but I know my inner bastard will always be inside of me telling not to be such a bloody drama queen. Or maybe not.

For those of you who are wondering, no, nothing happened today, and I'm completely sober. It was just a moment of self-awareness. And a lame excuse to post this background music.

But I've truely become what I least expected. It's just a matter of dealing with it.

This thread is reserved for anyone else who's feeling weird today.

Posted by D-res on Sep-05-2004 03:02:

You're colorblind?

Posted by Lira on Sep-05-2004 03:05:

quote:
Originally posted by D-res
You're colorblind?

Quite. I had only seen black'n'white.

Posted by D-res on Sep-05-2004 03:10:

that'd be crazy.... anyway, back on topic, i have had a lot of days where i just not felt like myself, and the next morning i would feel better and more like myself.

Posted by Lira on Sep-05-2004 03:11:

quote:
Originally posted by D-res
that'd be crazy.... anyway, back on topic, i have had a lot of days where i just not felt like myself, and the next morning i would feel better and more like myself.

Seriously, I'm alright.

The music is just to set a dramatic feel

Posted by D-res on Sep-05-2004 03:13:

that music is depressing

phhhht

Posted by Lira on Sep-05-2004 03:14:

quote:
Originally posted by D-res
that music is depressing

phhhht

Don't you get it? He's ready!

Posted by D-res on Sep-05-2004 03:15:

im craaaaaaazy tonight whoaaaaa

He's is ready indeed

Posted by Floorfiller on Sep-05-2004 03:17:

i have a friend that is color blind...well not completely like a dog or something but he can't tell the differene between certain colors...

Posted by Tranc3 on Sep-05-2004 03:17:

Posted by D-res on Sep-05-2004 03:20:

i know a kid that sees all greens in grey. that would sex because green is the color we see the most so just imagine it.... craaazy

Posted by TweeK on Sep-05-2004 03:29:

it must suck seeing black and white only

Posted by mezzir on Sep-05-2004 04:13:

you almost managed to out-do the depressing music that i already had playing
velour 100 - sky from underwater
<3

Posted by Magimaster on Sep-06-2004 10:25:

I have a few things on my mind right now

and damn, listening to that song almost put me to tears

Posted by Torley Wong on Sep-06-2004 10:59:

Re: So, I've slowly become what I had feared the most

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
The same way ice can burn, remedies can kill and uplifting trance can be depressing: I found strenght in the weakness, or so it seemed.

That's really meaningful. I can sooo relate.

Thank you graciously for posting this, Lira!

Posted by _Marco_ on Sep-06-2004 11:15:

i dont get what u've become!?

Posted by montana on Sep-06-2004 11:53:

this must suck massivly

Posted by Lira on Sep-06-2004 13:13:

Nah, it doesn't really suck, Montana... I wasn't sad when I wrote that.

quote:
Originally posted by Magimaster
listening to that song almost put me to tears

Me too, that's why I posted it.

quote:
Originally posted by marco.V
i dont get what u've become!?

I'm not sure whether I've become what I hated the most about my mother or if it just took me this long to realise we had these things in common. I didn't add this in the first post because it's rather personal and even this explanation may not make sense to the lot of you, but I reckon some people may experience a similar feeling. Besides, I needed to let it out.

Oh, and you're welcome, Aspergian

Posted by mndeg on Sep-06-2004 17:47:

how do you put a song into a thread?

Posted by mndeg on Sep-06-2004 17:51:

EDitED!

Posted by Lira on Sep-06-2004 18:47:

quote:
Originally posted by mndeg
how do you put a song into a thread?

It depends on the file format. If it's an mp3, just quote my first post. If it's another file, google the code.

Erm... oi, this tune you posted is fun... ID please

Posted by mndeg on Sep-06-2004 18:48:

f.i.r. - fly away
taiwanese pop/rock

Posted by Lira on Sep-06-2004 18:51:

quote:
Originally posted by mndeg
f.i.r. - fly away
taiwanese pop/rock

Cheers

One more thing: both songs playing at the same time are causing chaos here. Would you mind editing your post please, as I had added that first song to actually add something to the thread? Thank you

Posted by Massive84 on Sep-06-2004 18:54:

i dont get it.

so you found out your gay? best thing i can think of ..

Posted by Lira on Sep-06-2004 19:06:

quote:
Originally posted by Massive84
i dont get it.

so you found out your gay? best thing i can think of ..

All I said is that, some of the things I hated the most about my mother are some of the things I have in myself.

I don't hate gays I'm not one either, by the way.

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