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The fu*kbuddy concept....
How does this kind of thing sit with you? If you are unsure what I am talking about it's the friend you can have sex with no strings attached.
Personally I'd feel really uncomfortable with this. Maybe I am way too much of a woman with my feelings but I'd find it tough to have sex with someone I didn't have feelings for.
I'm intrigued as to how this kind of thing works, is it in short a kind of dial-a-screw service? And do you only resort to them in times of desparation?
Cheers
I once had a female acquaintance where our relationship was pretty much only based on sex. Then she went psycho and she thought we were exclusively dating and she got angry and cried alot. I got out of there ASAP.
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| Originally posted by UWM I once had a female acquaintance where our relationship was pretty much only based on sex. Then she went psycho and she thought we were exclusively dating and she got angry and cried alot. I got out of there ASAP. |
I'm not going to act like some of the asses in TA who have been around too long and love to refer newbs to the SEARCH cuz I haven't been around too long and I don't care if anyone here ever uses the search button.
but
if you want to see a thread from a few months ago that dealt with this top at length, go here:
http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...s+with+benefits
As I recall, it was a good thread.
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| Originally posted by Ian^ and what did sara say when you told her that ?/ |
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| Originally posted by UWM |
dont worry bout it mate, some people get it, some don't, and some of u just cant be arsed to sink to my level 
Ive done it a few times....
that scenario seems to happen to me a lot, actually. For a while I couldn't find a girl i really liked and i have a lot of gal pals... so shit would just happen.
Thing is I live in 2 places, atlanta and san juan puerto rico..... everytime that happened I was always kinda about to leave. So it'd be good for a few weeks and then id go back to college or PR.
But yeah this one time the girl got too into me and some drama unfolded. Im just glad I wasn't around for that lol. I was on the beach, chillin with some old skool homiez haha Good times!
but yeah, essentially im a romantic. I think the fuckbuddy thing is pretty superficial and some one always gets fuked up unless its a "hey gotta go back to the island!" type of thing. At least for me it was 
But yeah im not like that anymore.....being committed is way more emotionally rewarding.
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| Originally posted by Ian^ i was messing around over the woman who got clingy etc dont worry bout it mate, some people get it, most don't, and all of u just cant be arsed to sink to my level |
friends with benefits are the best kind of friends... you can live the single life but still get action
its simple whenever they stop automatomatically leaving after your done you stop fucking them so it doesnt turn into any more drama then it allready probly has been turned into. or you just dont do it but pretty much your safe just dont stick with one for too long as bitches tend to get emtoionally attached to sex and to whom the have sex with
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| Originally posted by Echo of Silence I'm not going to act like some of the asses in TA who have been around too long and love to refer newbs to the SEARCH cuz I haven't been around too long and I don't care if anyone here ever uses the search button. but if you want to see a thread from a few months ago that dealt with this top at length, go here: http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...s+with+benefits As I recall, it was a good thread. |
I personally don't think it works out well, after you have been messing with that "friend" for a whle, it become practically impossible to not have feelings for them.
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| Originally posted by {b.s.e.} |
As far as thing concept goes, I've found that usually:
a.) The person you're fucking won't talk to you much afterwards and will ignore you (especially if one of you/both was drunk/high that evening/morning/afternoon).
or b.) The person you're fucking will want a full blown relationship with you and will get upset when you don't.
I've actually done both things to people, now that I think about it, and have had both done to me... If it works and you can sleep with someone without a problem and just stay friends with them, it's kind of nice, though, but doesn't seem to happen as much as you'd like it too.
ya i tried this a couple of months ago for the first time..... and..... well......... now i have a girlfriend
NeVER tRied iT before...but iT doesn"t meaN I wouldnmt.
This is an excellent idea, but not without its complications.
I currently have a situation like this running, but due to spending decents amounts of time together, exclusiveness, and a step-up in emotional closeness it is near to approaching seeing each other territory. There is still no committment though, and that infatuation and 'crush' feeling seems to last forever. Relationships seem to sometimes lack the passion of a casual friendship, because you don't really knwo when this is going to end. There is no security so everytime you catch up you make sure you give it your best shot.
If the sex is bad your friend with benefits is not going to last long and given that girls that are willing to do this are often pretty open minded with sex, there can be some really exciting times to be had.
I find there is a greater number of people in the this world disillusioned with the concept of relationships, especially with all the stress that usually comes along with it, associated to things like jealousy, over-protectiveness, boringness, lack of excitement and routines.
The two situations that friends with benfits have arose from include:
1) picking someone up and having a one night stand, and sex continuing afterwards.
2) being friends for a while with no sex, then one person saying or doing something.
Usually one person out of the two has intentions for the situation to turn into a relationship and usually the whole fuck friend idea turns into an absolute mess.
Where the body goes the head usually follows, and it isn't often too long before deep and meaningful chats ruin everything.
The few times these have ended have been when I've met someone hotter and had to give up the friend, when they've got onto someone and I've got hurt and realised I liked them and when I fucked it up by saying or doing the wrong thing. There is much less margin for error in this situation compared to a relationship because there is no committment and security.
IMO I don't like something where someone is more than likely to get hurt. It always starts off cool but somewhere, somehow, someone always starts developing feelings, and that's when things get complicated.
1x thing maybe.... but on a frequent basis?? .. ummm... no.
Watch Vanilla Sky.
You'll never womanize again.
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| Originally posted by Gordy ya i tried this a couple of months ago for the first time..... and..... well......... now i have a girlfriend |
In my opinion......
It is okay under certain circumstances, or things can get ugly.
1. Both of you are not in (serious) relationships.
2. Both people are mature minded.
3. You have a casual or long term friendship.
4. You both understand each others intentions and respect them.
Otherwise, peoples feelings may get hurt. Being arround each other might become uncomfortable. More often women take things things a bit more serious and may develop attachment. If they are in relationships then the boyfriend or girldfriend may find out and that is drama that you just dont need to deal with. You may even end up with a potential stalker on your hands.
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| Originally posted by Gordy ya i tried this a couple of months ago for the first time..... and..... well......... now i have a girlfriend |
boy you people that are actually actively seeking fuck buddys are jackasses. i don't think its something that you look for...its just something that happens. if you are actually just searching for fuck buddys...that's basically telling me that you are just interested in using women...and that's not cool.
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| Originally posted by EyesOfExtasy In my opinion...... It is okay under certain circumstances, or things can get ugly. 1. Both of you are not in (serious) relationships. 2. Both people are mature minded. 3. You have a casual or long term friendship. 4. You both understand each others intentions and respect them. |
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| Originally posted by Seventil Watch Vanilla Sky. You'll never womanize again. |
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