osiris-5th sun (my first tune all comments welcome)

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-- osiris-5th sun (my first tune all comments welcome)

Posted by dannyc on Sep-12-2004 03:29:

osiris-5th sun (my first tune all comments welcome)

hi guys.

this is is my first tune hope you like it. this is after 4 months or so messing around with reason 2.5. its in 64kb so the sound quality is not the best. also i know i have alot to learn with mastering too but i'm sure i'll learn that as time goes on. anyway as i said its my first tune so all constructive critisim welcome.

here is the link:

http://wwww.dance-industries.com/tr...p?track_id=6579

Posted by M1cro5lave on Sep-12-2004 08:03:

Link is down. I repeat, the link is down.

Posted by amsterdamm on Sep-12-2004 10:07:

yep link is still down

Posted by dannyc on Sep-12-2004 20:04:

sorry didnt realise. think i typed it wrong i was really drunk at the time i posted hehe.

try this: http://www.dance-industries.com/track.asp?track_id=6579

it was working today so give it a go.

Posted by amsterdamm on Sep-13-2004 07:50:

whoa,I'd knock off some of the delay on that snare or clap at the beginning and imo the reverb on the bassline is makeing it sound muddy

lead synths sound fine but the kick needs more ummpf,thats about all I can add if I was to pick the stiches out of this one

breakdown is nice

Posted by dannyc on Sep-13-2004 20:03:

oh good jesus yeah i should of warned you about that first minute of the tune, got a bit lazy at the end of the mastering stage and didnt bother making a proper intro, went to town on the reverb i know.

also yeah i had a feeling the bass was a bit muddy due to lows and reverb but its hard sometimes to judge at the moment cause i'm mixing and mastering on a pair of middle price range headphones and only computer speakers.

as far as the kick is concerned i thought it actually had a bit of oohf about it didnt want to make it too hard trance sounding but obviously i've alot to learn. i great sounding kick in a tune is a hard thing to master in my opinion.

thanx for your feedback thou amsterdamm glad you liked the breakdown.

Posted by JohnOC on Sep-15-2004 22:32:

ok D-Man heres my comments

-hard house mania kick
-way 2 much reverb on the clap, never should be more than a little on a clap..its flooding the mix
-bass is ok, when clap stops the mix goes empty.
-clap coming in and out of the track is too noticable
-enjoying the concept of that lead synth
-very dark and mysterious, once again 2 much reverb on the synth
-the structure is a bit touch and go, could have got to the break about2 minutes ago
-string sequence is quite nice...actually yep im loving that
-nice ahh pads there...recognise them
-reverse cymbal is very sharp
-nice pluck synth coming in...great ideas here d-man
-need to watch the release on ur snare, its a bit sharp
-this is turning into a very nice track, apart from the scot project builds
-ah..when it kicks in there is no powerwhatsoever. wheres the percussions danny?!
-lacking a good hi hat
-tune length is about 2-3 mins too long

Overall i really like the ideas in this, and think with the right Production, Structure and Mastering this could be a very credible trance tune.
Huge potential here danny
the only way is up baby

Posted by dannyc on Sep-15-2004 23:21:

now thats the type of reply us newbies need from you pro's no doubt it comes from my main man fellow irishman and friend joc.

thanks for that post j i'm noting down everything you suggested. yeah your right it is a good 2mins too long think i got carried away getting taking on a journey to darksville i think hehe

also the reverb thing i've took on board from everyone.
when you say the bass is ok do you mean its not muddy?

also do you think its lacking elements and thats why mix goes empty when clap stops?

hardhouse kick please joc dont say that, you know how i feel about hardhouse, but your right. i'm having a hard job making a good kick that is not too hard but not too soft so will still stand out in the mix. goona spend alot of time working on this aspect.

scott project build ha thats the german roots baby, doesnt really work in this style your right.

and finally yeah your spot on joc when you say it lacks energy when it kicks back in, i did'nt know how to make it more intense without flooding mix. this is what i hated most about it, it just goes flat. so your saying percussion is the answer? what other techniques would make it feel more intense when it kicks back in?

well thats it, thanks for all your comments joc, i'm sure they'll help me alot. second tune soundind a whole lot better so far lots of movement and percussion

thanks again you the man!

p.s. any other comments from anyone welcome.

Posted by pho mo on Sep-20-2004 03:02:

Hi m8! Awesome first tune, sounds like you know exactly what you after. The breakdown sounded really cool, I liked the incidental kick hits and the way the layers came on.
There's a way to go production-wise, probably all been said here already but that takes a lot of time and practice!
Good luck, and keep at it!

Posted by Redmondo on Sep-21-2004 21:04:

hahaaha JOC check this out...DC now a member of TA...wot next??? God only knows,.,, well perhaps a big German style Derb/Kai Tracid DC stomparooonnnneeeeeey . . your comments have been noted !