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i HAVE to get this outta my mind...

Jeezzzz i got tons of cramped up anger and feeling shit inside me, im about to fuckin blow. seriously. i feel like really punching something hard, until its dead.

Okay this is going to be lengthly and i know it, so be prepared...


The situation is this, im with this girl, for 10 months now. I really love her. She is so sweet, pretty and all is good. She is my first LONG relationship ( longer then lets say 3 months ).
The only problem i have, she is really really touchy and gets emotional about things FAST. In the beginning i had to be carefull what i said about here. I come from 'the big city' and i can pretty much handle myself on the street and dont take offense that easily. She is like a tripmine( nice metafore i know).

After a small while everything went fine and no problems. But every now and then i do something wrong ( like forgot something, or didnt say the right thing at the right time etc ) and she gets pissed, and i mean seriously pissed sometimes. She calls me names and goes as far as saying: how can you be so fuckin stupid. And i try to do my best. I go to her as much as i can, i call her a hour a day (seriously), i spend lots of money on her. and i really love her. But im a fucking human, i forget things, i make mistakes. What i never do is call her names, be angry at her. Im always very calm and try to talk things out.

Allright, tonight something went wrong because of MISCOMMUNICATION, and this resulted in her, just being at home doing her at home things ( watch tv, read cosmopolitan, etc whatever ) and while doing that she also waited for me to call.

i called her earlier that evening for about an hour long, and in that conversation she thought i would call her later that evening, and in my opinion i never promised that. She calls me up 2 hours later and she starts yelling and saying i cant forget that, and that i aint giving her enough attention and that she feels she means nothing to me ( wich is absolutely not true ).

i spend so much money on her, i get shit from my parents for the phone bill, i spend my entire weekend with her all the time. This, she seemingly forgets!

We just got off the phone, she is so pissed, and i finally said ( still calm ) that i apologize for forgetting, but in my eyes we had a miscommunication therefor i NEVER REALISED that i had to call her. She just wouldnt believe that and she starts calling me names and that i cant take anything seriously ( then she starts to rant about the college wich im in, that she thinks i cant make it, blabla ). Im just: okay im sorry etc etc, and she hangs up.

Im now feeling so much anger, she ALWAYS gets pissed at me, and i never get pissed at her, i always restrain myself. But i can feel it, man.. i couldnt go to thaiboxing practice this week and there is just too much anger left in me man! I care so much for her and spend so much money on her and she just doesnt notice.

Damn im sorry for the lenghtly story and my grammar probly isnt that good ( im dutch, what the fuck haha ), and im just feeling messed up inside. In any way, if you're reading this, thnx for reading my story, just needed to VENT!!

i didnt read it but i saw a she in there. damn bitches

Re: i HAVE to get this outta my mind...

quote:

Originally posted by 6iki_Snake i spend so much money on her,

Well there's your problem.. she probably likes all the attention is most likely EXPECTING you to solve the problem by buying her something.


I dunno, the whole relationship seems so ...COntrolling IMO.. try and put your foot down and say NO and see what happens. Dont cave in and buy her anything.

unlucky mate, my ex (8 month relationship) always used to forget all the things I did for her when she felt like being in a mood etc etc etc

if she doesn't appreciate you...find someone else...

bunny boiler.



trade in for a more hassle free model

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller if she doesn't appreciate you...find someone else...

its easier said than done, at least it is in my situation

well sweety ... she doesnt love you ... as simple as that ... now its up to you - will you still be loosing time with her or stayed in abusive relationshipt that is not even a relationship

i get mad at my b/f too, but i never call him names ... i might say he is a lazy bump that doesnt clean after he finishes his dinner, but it is said in rather mild way ...

quote:

Originally posted by AndskiSpeed its easier said than done, at least it is in my situation

i hear ya

You'll be ok - especially if you truly do care for her as much as you say, that usually conquers all.

I know how you feel about the punching bag thing - I haven't gone to a TaeKwonDo class for a few months (I moved away from Colorado recently) and whenever I have troubles with this girl, I exercise until I can't stand anymore. I don't really need to hit something, I just take all of that energy and convert it into focus - I do forms for a while followed by some hardcore kicking reps and then slow kicks. This usually tires me out pretty well, and I feel a lot better afterwards, especially since my mind is usually clear of all the feelings I had before. You don't have to go to class just to practice, ya know - especially for Thaiboxing- just practice jabs and knees in air for about 2 hours... you'll feel better, I'm sure

Just let yourself become calm about it - definitely don't lose your head over this. For a relationship to be complete, it seems that there must be a perfect balance of things attained - when she is angry, you must be placid; when you are angry, she must be placid - it's just how people learn to complement one another. When both are angry, arguments start, words are said, and the people never see each other again. When both are placid, complacency kicks in and stagnation occurs - lack of communication slowly kills the relationship. Be her complement

It's hard dealing with emotional women - they purposefully make it hard on you - but this reaction is just asking for more attention. I wonder, will you give it to her? Will she accept it? For one to be truly sorry, the other must accept the apology - I believe the ball is in her court by now.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy i didnt read it but i saw a she in there. damn bitches

buddy, this remark actually made me laugh out loud! im even gonna SIG it.

but for the rest, thnx for the replies. the music is helping already so im okay, but indeed.. i care ALOT for her, and i know its controlling a bit, but i have the feeling that when i say NO she will get very mad at me, possibly to the point of breaking up. Alot of times i thought about this... but when the time comes, i just cant say it. I tried to do it a bit tonight but it only made her more pissed, i will just see how she feels tomorrow...

as i said, its my first try in a 'long' relationship so i dont know how this will work out.

it looks like she is in it for the MONEY .. sorry to break the news .. you are doing all the right stuff to steer the ship to the right direction, but it seems like money is the anchor that is keeping the ship from going any furthur.

i say talk things over with her, and ask her "where do you think this relationship is going" conversation... she'll probably break down from there .. everyone does... but you probably know what i mean .. i agree with everyone else..

break it off.

[edit]

either that, or maybe it's her previous relationships she has had or has not had... you definately need to talk to her how you feel. you need to express yourself, and tell her how you feel. probably the reason why she's venting off to you is either she is having a bad day, and doesn't know how to keep her anger to herself, or she is expressing refluxes of past bad relationships back to you.. usually it is something psychological or emotional from within,

if the only way she wants to be with you is by having her way in EVERYTHING you might as well get on with your life...seriously. i say...you say no and if she breaks up with you over something stupid...then its really better for you i promise. i know it might suck, but really it is.

well i thought about it, but last time i took her out to dinner i said, hey baby im sorry but cant take you out to dinner anytime soon anymore... i have to save up some money for other things and she is like, sure thats fine sweety, we'll just have dinner at my place and she always thnx me when i pay stuff.

I dont even give much gifts, its just, when going to the movies i pay, when going to dinner i pay, but she also gave presents to me so i have doubts about that she is in it for the money.

quote:

Originally posted by 6iki_Snake well i thought about it, but last time i took her out to dinner i said, hey baby im sorry but have to save up some money for other things and she is like, sure thats fine sweety, we'll just have dinner at my place and she always thnx me when i pay stuff. I dont even give much gifts, its just, when going to the movies i pay, when going to dinner i pay, but she also gave presents to me so i have doubts about that she is in it for the money.

i didn't say she was a money grubbing ho...i'm saying if you guys get in an argument...over something stupid and you think she is ready to break up over it...well...if you can't have a normal argument without it tearing the two of you apart then you might as well move on...

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller i didn't say she was a money grubbing ho...i'm saying if you guys get in an argument...over something stupid and you think she is ready to break up over it...well...if you can't have a normal argument without it tearing the two of you apart then you might as well move on...

Jesus H Christ you people post as fast as a lightning bolt. My story was to 'itsTrueSonic' on the last page! hehe your post makes alot of sense. ill think bout it.

she has a problem - and a big one ... and if she doesnt fix it ... one day she will start slapping you ...unless u like being submissive ... thats a shyte

and yes ... u do care about her ... but ... how much do u care about yourself? ... you have only one life so u cant afford to waste it

and why dont u just talk with her over that? are u afraid of her? afraid she will go mad and hit you ?

sorry ... but from whatever aspect i look ... i see an abusive relationship ...and a woman that needs psychologist

quote:

Originally posted by 6iki_Snake Jesus H Christ you people post as fast as a lightning bolt. My story was to 'itsTrueSonic' on the last page!

ok yeah i know hehehe...but still

quote:

Originally posted by Stasha she has a problem - and a big one ... and if she doesnt fix it ... one day she will start slapping you ...unless u like being submissive ... thats a shyte and yes ... u do care about her ... but ... how much do u care about yourself? ... you have only one life so u cant afford to waste it and why dont u just talk with her over that? are u afraid of her? afraid she will go mad and hit you ? sorry ... but from whatever aspect i look ... i see an abusive relationship ...and a woman that needs psychologist

it wont go that far at all, i mean, its just a bit of a controlling issue right now, but when this gets any further then i have no problem breaking it off. I fitness alot, ive done martial arts all my life. she knows, she wont slap me. But i dont like hurting women at all, but above all that, she is my gf and i truly care about her. but if she would slap me it will be instant breakoff.

quote:

Originally posted by itsTrueSonic [edit] either that, or maybe it's her previous relationships she has had or has not had... you definately need to talk to her how you feel. you need to express yourself, and tell her how you feel. probably the reason why she's venting off to you is either she is having a bad day, and doesn't know how to keep her anger to herself, or she is expressing refluxes of past bad relationships back to you.. usually it is something psychological or emotional from within,

i know she had some went-wrong relationships before, my guess is that she is so controlling because she loves me too. Ive seen her cry about this sorta thing. she doesnt wanna lose me because she cares too much, and thats why gets really emotional when something isnt going as she sees fit... at least, thats the feeling im getting.

break it off right now.. whats the point in staying with a crack-case like this ****.. she obviously has issues that you seem doubtful about.. do you see yourself marrying somebody like this? NO? then whats the point in prolonging a pointless relationship?

I say break her heart.

quote:

Originally posted by e*motion break it off right now.. whats the point in staying with a crack-case like this ****.. she obviously has issues that you seem doubtful about.. do you see yourself marrying somebody like this? NO? then whats the point in prolonging a pointless relationship? I say break her heart.

funny thing, when stepping into a fighting ring i have no problem with getting into that fight and use all my power to take someone down.

I almost signed up for the dutch equillavant of the commandos. passed the physical etc. I aint usually afraid of much.

but i cant get the balls to just say no, i actually care about her too much. have to admit that i never felt this before tho.

some part of me wants to, but another part says to me that i just cant do that to her.

the question is ... are u prepared to live with that?

another thing - the fact that she doesnt want to lose you or doesnt want to get dumped doesnt mean she loves you ...

you dont call names to the ppl u love and most certainly u dont try to dominate them



and send her to psychologist ... she really needs it

this is exactly what she wants man..
look down.
see that 3===D ? YOUR A MAN!

now act like one.. take off that leash and hit the road man.
this is exactly what she wants.. for you to feel bad about everything you do.
Start going on dates.. you might realize theres soooo much more out there.

i do not know if im prepared for that, but what everyone says makes sence. the situation is just a bit harder and more confusing when youre in it then when youre looking at it from the sideline. But that is normal.
ill think alot about it, and if it makes ya feel better, you guys have been quite the help, im feeling better now that i vented it! Thnx a bunch, im going to bed now so ill check on tomorrow morning again.

cya all later

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