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-- Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

I've been depressed as fuck for five full days, now. I have no idea what to do to get past this. I lost one of my best friends because of a ridiculous argument we had this past weekend. (And no... It's not a situation that can be fixed. We both said and did things that neither of us is ever going to forgive the other for, regardless of how long we go without speaking.)

I've been considering going out and getting drunk (again) but that's actually where a lot of the problems started last weekend. No good dance events this weekend that are within driving distance, either.

What to do?

Re: Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

quote:

Originally posted by wwu.punisher I've been depressed as fuck for five full days, now. I have no idea what to do to get past this. I lost one of my best friends because of a ridiculous argument we had this past weekend. (And no... It's not a situation that can be fixed. We both said and did things that neither of us is ever going to forgive the other for, regardless of how long we go without speaking.) I've been considering going out and getting drunk (again) but that's actually where a lot of the problems started last weekend. No good dance events this weekend that are within driving distance, either. What to do?

so what was the ridiculous argument about? i say you never lose friends until either one of you passes away. you can always make up with your friend.

but i say if you want to meet new people, always go to a light social bar and converse with a bunch of people. that's how it works here. that what jazz clubs were meant for,

its really unpleasant to loose a friend..

however if it happens, then it should've happened.. nothing happens for no reason...

your argument showed both of u who u really r...

drinking away your problem will not help... u might feel even worse and maybe u'll even talk shit to strangers if u get drunk like that...

time will fix everything... get some new friends and that'll defintly make u feel better

Re: Re: Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

quote:

Originally posted by itsTrueSonic i say you never lose friends until either one of you passes away. you can always make up with your friend.

Believe me... If it were possible, it would've happened already. We drug some things out into the open that neither of us would ever have otherwise used as weapons against each other. It was a true, no holds barred fight. She is never going to look at me the same again, and I am definitely never going to look at her again, period.

In fact, this was such an epic confrontation that our entire building has taken sides on the issue. Unfortunately, most everyone has sided with me, and I feel horrible about it because I know she is alone on this and there's nothing I'd like more than to make it all go away. I just don't think I'm ever going to be able to, because it would require forgiving her for some of the most horrible things a person has ever said to me. (And people have said some mean shit to me before. This was just way over the top.)

in the end isnt it just words?

quote:

Originally posted by butterfly in the end isnt it just words?

sticks, stones and words

drink to forget, not to remember

I don't think there's anything that I couldn't forgive someone for eventually, no matter how bad the situation was. But then maybe it's because I'm too laid back with things and just let them slide. I dunno, if I were you I'd at least try to make things a little better. You say you're worried that she's alone in the whole predicament because everyone's sided with you: to me that shows you still care for her as a friend, and so you should at least apologize to her for the things you've said, even if she doesn't forgive you for them.

Give it time though, and she'll most likely feel he same way. And as you would have already apologized, she'll find it easier to say sorry too.

Re: Re: Re: Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

quote:

Originally posted by wwu.punisher Believe me... If it were possible, it would've happened already. We drug some things out into the open that neither of us would ever have otherwise used as weapons against each other. It was a true, no holds barred fight. She is never going to look at me the same again, and I am definitely never going to look at her again, period. In fact, this was such an epic confrontation that our entire building has taken sides on the issue. Unfortunately, most everyone has sided with me, and I feel horrible about it because I know she is alone on this and there's nothing I'd like more than to make it all go away. I just don't think I'm ever going to be able to, because it would require forgiving her for some of the most horrible things a person has ever said to me. (And people have said some mean shit to me before. This was just way over the top.)

this seems like you two had a disagreement over something that is important. i think the best thing to do first is to have time heal all pains.. preferably one week.. then after than try to play the "consoling" role and be by her side, saying that you are sorry for what happened and you will always be by her side .. since you say that this is an epic confrontation, try to find some common ground where she and you would agree on. if you have been friends for a long time, play the "long time friendship" card, and explain how a petty little thing you two got into was stupid in your part, and apologize for erupting in any type of way that made her upset at you also.

imo, the key to friendship is sharing the common pathway of ideas where two or more friends are travelling on. there are always bumps and bruises ahead in every relationship, but the key to everyone is to learn how to hurdle over those roadblocks and deal with the fact that sometimes life is not perfect. there are times when you have to implement your life into hers, and she has to know how to implement her lifestyle into yours.

alcohol never solves any problems.. but fuck neither does milk.

if anything, be the bigger man and say your sorry for what you said...
then slap the bitch for what she said.

that oughta solve everything.

quote:

Originally posted by e*motion alcohol never solves any problems.. but fuck neither does milk.

Actually milk (and the calcium within) help solve the problem of osteoporosis

There's no magic formula for getting over this type of thing unfortunately. The following things will probably help:

1. Time
2. Getting out of that building, where there are probably plenty of people and things to remind you of it constantly.
3. Putting physical distance between yourself and your ex-friend so you don't have to see her/hear her/hear about her.

I realize that the second two may not be viable options in the immediate future. That's unfortunate for you, so to be honest it's probably going to slow down the process of getting over it. Just try to remember that in the end, that which does not kill you only makes you stronger.

quote:

Originally posted by e*motion alcohol never solves any problems.. but fuck neither does milk.

haha i like that!

Re: Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

quote:

Originally posted by wwu.punisher What to do?

get two new ones. and if you lose those two, get four. and if you lose those four,...(well, you get the picture)


when can you wire me my fee?

Re: Re: Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

quote:

Originally posted by Spacey Orange get two new ones. and if you lose those two, get four. and if you lose those four,...(well, you get the picture) when can you wire me my fee?

sorry d00d.. i don't think the "exponential rule" applies to the "gain a friend rule"...

so are you saying that if i lose 100 friends, i have a chance to get 10000 new friends???

Re: Re: Re: Dealing with the loss of a great friend (not a death).

quote:

Originally posted by itsTrueSonic sorry d00d.. i don't think the "exponential rule" applies to the "gain a friend rule"... so are you saying that if i lose 100 friends, i have a chance to get 10000 new friends???

if you lose 100, get 200.

when can you wire me my fee?

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