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Posted by samiotis on Nov-15-2004 18:50:

do you think its bad to...

try to check you ex's e-mail?

even though i dont know her pass i'd love to check it, because i know she's been talking to this guy she met. even before we broke up.

Posted by l�cid on Nov-15-2004 18:55:

quick answer: YES.

long answer: fucking hell, of course it's wrong. first off, if it's your ex, get over her and move on with your life. second of all, relationships cannot survive without trust and a certain level of privacy. if you can't give someone that level of trust and privacy (whether you're an insecure guy or she's a lying hoe), then you shouldn't be with them.

Posted by jonSun on Nov-15-2004 18:56:

Yes its wrong but I have been guilty of it.

Posted by samiotis on Nov-15-2004 18:57:

well i used to trust her, she never trusted me, im trying to get over her but its hard when she calls me emails and text messages me telling me she loves me and shit. i dont answer the phone i've told her to just leave me alone but its tough especially in my situation

Posted by Absolut_Vodka on Nov-15-2004 18:59:

lol paranoia...

just think of it this way... would you want someone to check your mail behind your back?.... no right...problem solved!

Posted by Ondrayce on Nov-15-2004 19:01:

Cut the biatch off!

quote:
"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
-Charles Caleb Colton

Posted by Nabistai on Nov-15-2004 19:01:

Re: do you think its bad to...

quote:
Originally posted by samiotis
try to check you ex's e-mail?

even though i dont know her pass i'd love to check it, because i know she's been talking to this guy she met. even before we broke up.

unfortunately I've done it.

Man the things I've discovered...

(wasn't really my ex yet btw)

Posted by butterfly on Nov-15-2004 19:03:

no you definitely should not try to check their email, vm, or anything else. get her out of your life. have her blocked on your cell if necessary, add her to you junk email list. you can block her out of your life if you really try.

Posted by l�cid on Nov-15-2004 19:08:

quote:
Originally posted by samiotis
well i used to trust her, she never trusted me, im trying to get over her but its hard when she calls me emails and text messages me telling me she loves me and shit. i dont answer the phone i've told her to just leave me alone but its tough especially in my situation

so why do you want to check her e-mail? to read the things she's been writing to some other guy? trust me, it won't make you feel any better. your first priority should be getting her out of your life and off of your mind. trust is a HUGE part of relationships and if the 2 of you couldn't find a way to trust each other then you're both better off without each other.

Posted by Nabistai on Nov-15-2004 19:12:

quote:
Originally posted by l�cid
so why do you want to check her e-mail? to read the things she's been writing to some other guy? trust me, it won't make you feel any better. your first priority should be getting her out of your life and off of your mind. trust is a HUGE part of relationships and if the 2 of you couldn't find a way to trust each other then you're both better off without each other.

Actually yeah, it's better not to do it because it will only make you feel 10x worse... Just know that she's not thrustworthy and leave it by that.

Posted by samiotis on Nov-15-2004 19:19:

ive already blocked her off my emails aim msn etc. im trying as hard as i can to get her out of my life. i made the mistake of giving her my new cell number. i had her old email address and i found nothing to be worried about there. but she has a new yahoo one which i wouldnt mind checking. she would always check my cell phone when she came over, and would check whos on my aim list and shit like that. it didnt bother me at all

i dont know if shes not trustworthy she has told me everything shes done, but i just feel like shes hiding stuff, i guess its just the position im in that sucks

Posted by sensorium on Nov-15-2004 19:34:

Check the inbox already and get over with it.

Posted by Nabistai on Nov-15-2004 19:38:

quote:
Originally posted by samiotis
ive already blocked her off my emails aim msn etc. im trying as hard as i can to get her out of my life. i made the mistake of giving her my new cell number. i had her old email address and i found nothing to be worried about there. but she has a new yahoo one which i wouldnt mind checking. she would always check my cell phone when she came over, and would check whos on my aim list and shit like that. it didnt bother me at all

i dont know if shes not trustworthy she has told me everything shes done, but i just feel like shes hiding stuff, i guess its just the position im in that sucks

Well then I guess it comes down to what you want most
1) Know the absolute truth, and by doing so getting hurt => break her email
2) Don't get hurt en leave her behind you. But then you have to be able to live without knowing everything. => don't break it

This depends from person to person I guess. I chose the truth...

Posted by malek on Nov-15-2004 19:38:

read it, who cares

anyone talking about respect should be hanged. (as if she respected him by cheating)

Posted by djxtension on Nov-15-2004 19:39:

Re: do you think its bad to...

Posted by l�cid on Nov-15-2004 19:42:

quote:
Originally posted by samiotis
she would always check my cell phone when she came over, and would check whos on my aim list and shit like that. it didnt bother me at all

see, that kind of shit should not be tolerated in relationships. you say it didn't bother you, but it should. doing stuff like that is basically her saying, "i'm insecure and i don't trust you so i'm gonna check up on you repeatedly"... a lot of the time when someone doesn't trust their partner, it's because they are the ones who should not be trusted, doing the things that she is trying to bust you out for - cheating, lying, etc.

i know it's hard to move on, but it sounds like you'll just be beating a dead horse by checking her e-mail.

Posted by samiotis on Nov-15-2004 19:46:

well i broke into her email shes been talking to her ex boyfriend of 4 years who she left for me because she was in love with me for those years. which took me by surprise but she also talked to that guy i thought she would. im not really hurt im just glad i know the truth. apparently she still has feelings for her ex. anyways im gonna leave it at that oh yeah how do i block her number on my cell?

Posted by malek on Nov-15-2004 19:51:

quote:
Originally posted by samiotis
well i broke into her email shes been talking to her ex boyfriend of 4 years who she left for me because she was in love with me for those years. which took me by surprise but she also talked to that guy i thought she would. im not really hurt im just glad i know the truth. apparently she still has feelings for her ex. anyways im gonna leave it at that oh yeah how do i block her number on my cell?

replace her name by "do not answer"

Posted by sensorium on Nov-15-2004 19:53:

Now why would you ask for advice if you're not going to pay any attention? It was obvious you were dying to check on her. You can't deny that you're hurt. You are. Don't hide it. That was expected.

Get yourself a new number and stop violating the privacy of others.

Posted by l�cid on Nov-15-2004 19:57:

quote:
Originally posted by ierxium
Now why would you ask for advice if you're not going to pay any attention? It was obvious you were dying to check on her. You can't deny that you're hurt. You are. Don't hide it. That was expected.

Get yourself a new number and stop violating the privacy of others.

+1

Posted by chojin on Nov-15-2004 19:59:

hmm, i was guilty of this

Posted by samiotis on Nov-15-2004 20:01:

it doesnt bother me, shes violated my privacy alot more, this was the only thing ive done thats violated hers. you dont understand she was pretty psycho during our relationship. thats why shes my ex now

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on Nov-15-2004 20:04:

If you feel the need to check up on your partner, there's really no use perpetuating the relationship any further - it's obvious that you have definite trust issues, and if you really, truly, cared for this person and trusted this person (the foundations for any worthwhile relationship) then you wouldn't need to check up on her. It doesn't matter if she's "guilty" of talking to her ex-boyfriend; people's feelings for one another are so fickle, and if there's much doubt in either person's mind of the partner or of yourself and the relationship, then plese don't waste that person's time any further.

Some people were born to die alone. Chances are, you're one of them if you can't get your priorities straight.

Posted by sensorium on Nov-15-2004 20:08:

quote:
Originally posted by samiotis
it doesnt bother me, shes violated my privacy alot more, this was the only thing ive done thats violated hers. you dont understand she was pretty psycho during our relationship. thats why shes my ex now

You're on denial. In an earlier post you said it didn't bother you. Don't contradict yourself. And she 'violated' your privacy while you two were together. So if it bothered you, then you're just stupid since you didn't let her know. You talk about her been psycho. Man, you're the one checking up on her after you both break up. That makes you worst than psycho. Only a lunatic goes checking the mail of an ex.

Edit: Sincere apologies for the harshness.

Posted by samiotis on Nov-15-2004 20:08:

shes done the same to me, i couldnt even go out with my friends without having her calling me all night, and her thinking i was cheating on her, she was the same with her ex boyfriend and she'll always be like that

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