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-- Blonde jokes to be banned?
Blonde jokes to be banned?
No JOKE.
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what do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
once they're on their back they're fucked.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by {b.s.e.} what do a turtle and a blonde have in common? once they're on their back they're fucked. |
i do not actually feel this way about blondes... ehem...
some of these were entertaining:
Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.
Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?
A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A. A wind tunnel.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
A. She drowns it.
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. What did the blonde�s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme.
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....
Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL.
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?>
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up.
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A. A blow job with handlebars.
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
the world is stupid isn't it? 
and lol i guess in Hungary there are a lot of blondes there! Blondes, we make fun of you because we love you... 
"bad taste" blonde jokes?
surely they've had worse.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by D-res Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish? A. She drowns it. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 How does this even make sense? Fish drown when they're held out of water, hence the blond kills the fish by holding it out of the water. Where is teh funnay??? |
| quote: |
| drown Pronunciation Key (droun) v. drowned, drown�ing, drowns v. tr. -To kill by submerging and suffocating in water or another liquid. -To drench thoroughly or cover with or as if with a liquid. -To deaden one's awareness of; blot out: people who drowned their troubles in drink. -To muffle or mask (a sound) by a louder sound: screams that were drowned out by the passing train. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 How does this even make sense? Fish drown when they're held out of water, hence the blond kills the fish by holding it out of the water. Where is teh funnay??? |
No, actually when a fish is kept out of water it will drown. Drowning in the purely biological sense is when you no longer have access to your breathing material. In a purely human sense, you can only drown in water. However, a fish is not a human.
I find it hard to believe that none of you have ever heard a biologist say this. Death by asphyxiation due to your environment is drowning.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 No, actually when a fish is kept out of water it will drown. Drowning in the purely biological sense is when you no longer have access to your breathing material. In a purely human sense, you can only drown in water. However, a fish is not a human. I find it hard to believe that none of you have ever heard a biologist say this. Death by asphyxiation due to your environment is drowning. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 you can only drown in water. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by PhloTron Thank goodnes...I thought I was a goner when I submerged my head in that vat of hydrochloric acid... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 Depending on the molarity of the HCl, you'd either die from the acid eating the protein on your body, or you'd drown from the water. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by PhloTron Then I'm a goner... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 How does this even make sense? Fish drown when they're held out of water, hence the blond kills the fish by holding it out of the water. Where is teh funnay??? |
i REALLY hope you're kidding
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 No, actually when a fish is kept out of water it will drown. Drowning in the purely biological sense is when you no longer have access to your breathing material. In a purely human sense, you can only drown in water. However, a fish is not a human. I find it hard to believe that none of you have ever heard a biologist say this. Death by asphyxiation due to your environment is drowning. |
Enjoy the blonde jokes while you can. It's been noted that the genes that produce blond hair are recessive; and that at some point the genes may be cancelled out.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Taz Enjoy the blonde jokes while you can. It's been noted that the genes that produce blond hair are recessive; and that at some point the genes may be cancelled out. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranc3 In a purely human sense, you can only drown in water. Death by asphyxiation due to your environment is drowning. |
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