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the funniest things

Post the funniest the thing you've ever done, seen or heard.

Re: the funniest things

quote:

Originally posted by Earthsnail Post the funniest the thing you've ever done, seen or heard.

uh.

there's too many things ive seen and heard and done that is funny.

I cant pick just one

Re: the funniest things

quote:

Originally posted by Earthsnail Post the funniest the thing you've ever done, seen or heard.

ive shat myself in the middle of a busy town street , haha beat that

Re: Re: the funniest things

quote:

Originally posted by Acton ive shat myself in the middle of a busy town street , haha beat that

Well so have I, but I was only like 1 year old.

Re: Re: the funniest things

quote:

Originally posted by Acton ive shat myself in the middle of a busy town street , haha beat that

were you high or what

my bf the other day was in art, leaning back agenst the cupboard, and he was zoning out not really drawing, then all the sudden i look up and it was slow motion, his chair slides out from under him, his head hits the table, he kicks over a few more chairs, then he trys 2 catch himself and more chairs fall, he ended up spraining his wrist my me and his friends couldnt stop laughing at him, he even went 2 the nurse and i was like "what a looser" and his friend was like "pussy" then his other friend was like "bitch" and he came back in with a cast like thinger on it lmao, one thing 2 fall outa ur chair, another 2 get injured while doing it

There's so many funny things I've done, seen, and heard that I can't decide. I think this would be a nominee though. Once I took this cup of coffee and used it as a football (American football) in a field goal attempt between two parked 18-wheelers.

quote:

Originally posted by citric_acid my bf the other day was in art, leaning back agenst the cupboard, and he was zoning out not really drawing, then all the sudden i look up and it was slow motion, his chair slides out from under him, his head hits the table, he kicks over a few more chairs, then he trys 2 catch himself and more chairs fall, he ended up spraining his wrist my me and his friends couldnt stop laughing at him, he even went 2 the nurse and i was like "what a looser" and his friend was like "pussy" then his other friend was like "bitch" and he came back in with a cast like thinger on it lmao, one thing 2 fall outa ur chair, another 2 get injured while doing it

i didnt even read a word of this but you smell like gargamel

c'mon guys, it really isn't that hard. All I want you to tell me is something funny that you've done before or maybe a funny story or something

Farting in a quiet room, but the trick is lay a fart soo hard that it makes ur ass cheeks feel like they are pinching them selfs it has been done

Probably not the funniest thing ever but...


{Galactic} you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
{Galactic} I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
{Galactic} the Trix rabbit, for example
{Galactic} I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
{Galactic} I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
{Galactic} fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
{Galactic} "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
{Galactic} Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
{Galactic} FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
{Galactic} I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
{Galactic} and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
{Galactic} and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
{Galactic} I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
{Galactic} "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
{Galactic} NO.
{Galactic} I'd be thinking
{Galactic} "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
{Galactic} another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
{Galactic} last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
{Galactic} they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
{Flaming_Duck} not me
{Flaming Duck} I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
{Flaming_Duck} I mean, I eat when I get up
{Flaming_Duck} but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
{FLaming_Suck} bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
{Flaming_Duck} don't give me that shit.
{Galactic} Back to stupid cereal mascots...
{Galactic} Lucky Charms.
{Galactic} FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
{Galactic} Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
{Galactic} C'mon now, Lucky.
{Galactic} I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
{Galactic} or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
{Galactic} "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
{Galactic} ....
{Galactic} KILL THEM, BITCH!
{Galactic} I dunno why I went off on this rant here
{Galactic} it's just always bothered me."


http://www.bash.org/?75154

quote:

Originally posted by citric_acid my bf the other day was in art, leaning back agenst the cupboard, and he was zoning out not really drawing, then all the sudden i look up and it was slow motion, his chair slides out from under him, his head hits the table, he kicks over a few more chairs, then he trys 2 catch himself and more chairs fall, he ended up spraining his wrist my me and his friends couldnt stop laughing at him, he even went 2 the nurse and i was like "what a looser" and his friend was like "pussy" then his other friend was like "bitch" and he came back in with a cast like thinger on it lmao, one thing 2 fall outa ur chair, another 2 get injured while doing it

And it's another thing to laugh at your friends when they injure themselves. Hope it makes him realize that he needs new friends because the ones he has kinda suck.

Anyways, a friend of mine in High School was a fucking eating machine. This kid always had something to eat, or else he just shut down completely - he was also one of those tall, lanky kids and you wonder how the hell he pulled it off. One day, his class threw a party in the morning, and he managed to take some waffles and a bottle of syrup from this party - all day long, he was taking a bite of waffle, then putting his lips to this bottle of syrup and sucking out of it as though it were a bottle of water. To him, I suppose, this made the most sense. Needless to say, everyone questiond his logic, as always, but he continued on. Now before I go on, I'd just like to say that I'm a very sensitive person. I'm not talking about emotions - I just always have a sense of what's around me - sight, sound, smell - that sort of thing. My intuition, in this case, told me that something very bad would come of this syrup-guzzling. My suspicions were confirmed when my friend, at lunch, placed his lips around the bottle's head to take a "swig", tilted his head back...

and inspired my other friend to suddenly reach across the table and squeeze the bottle of syrup as hard as he could. The lid immediately popped right out, flew down my friend's throat, and with it a large wave of maple-goodness. In an instant, he was completely drenched in maple syrup and in the process of coughing up not only the lid of an economy-sized jug of Aunt Jemima, but the viscous contents of the Aunt as well. The look on that kid's face was absolutely priceless - when I think about it, I realize that a camera would have been so incredibly perfect that it surpassed words. However, when I truly think about it, I realize that a picture cannot effectively capture the hilarity of the situation. Icing on the cake (or syrup on the waffle, as it would be) was the fact that my friend who squeezed the syrup immediately took off running while my syrup-covered friend followed closely behind his tail. He was eventually caught when he ran into the teacher's lounge while a large group of art teachers were feeding their faces. My syrup-covered friend showed his gratitude by giving my other friend a large, sticky hug...in front of all the astonished faces of the art department.

Fucking classic.

For some reason (DOn't ask me why ) this thread reminds me of the sound of music.

la la la la la
And whiskers on kittens
snowbells and sleighbells and warm woolen mittens
la la la la la something about spring

These are a few of the funniest things

When the dog bites
when the lightning lights
when I'm feeling saaaaaad
I simply think of the funniest things and then I DON'T FEEEEEEELLLLLLL sooooooooooo BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

Thank you... thank you very much

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On And it's another thing to laugh at your friends when they injure themselves. Hope it makes him realize that he needs new friends because the ones he has kinda suck. Anyways, a friend of mine in High School was a fucking eating machine. This kid always had something to eat, or else he just shut down completely - he was also one of those tall, lanky kids and you wonder how the hell he pulled it off. One day, his class threw a party in the morning, and he managed to take some waffles and a bottle of syrup from this party - all day long, he was taking a bite of waffle, then putting his lips to this bottle of syrup and sucking out of it as though it were a bottle of water. To him, I suppose, this made the most sense. Needless to say, everyone questiond his logic, as always, but he continued on. Now before I go on, I'd just like to say that I'm a very sensitive person. I'm not talking about emotions - I just always have a sense of what's around me - sight, sound, smell - that sort of thing. My intuition, in this case, told me that something very bad would come of this syrup-guzzling. My suspicions were confirmed when my friend, at lunch, placed his lips around the bottle's head to take a "swig", tilted his head back... and inspired my other friend to suddenly reach across the table and squeeze the bottle of syrup as hard as he could. The lid immediately popped right out, flew down my friend's throat, and with it a large wave of maple-goodness. In an instant, he was completely drenched in maple syrup and in the process of coughing up not only the lid of an economy-sized jug of Aunt Jemima, but the viscous contents of the Aunt as well. The look on that kid's face was absolutely priceless - when I think about it, I realize that a camera would have been so incredibly perfect that it surpassed words. However, when I truly think about it, I realize that a picture cannot effectively capture the hilarity of the situation. Icing on the cake (or syrup on the waffle, as it would be) was the fact that my friend who squeezed the syrup immediately took off running while my syrup-covered friend followed closely behind his tail. He was eventually caught when he ran into the teacher's lounge while a large group of art teachers were feeding their faces. My syrup-covered friend showed his gratitude by giving my other friend a large, sticky hug...in front of all the astonished faces of the art department. Fucking classic.

ahahahaa

see yeah i have stories like that too, i just dont feel like typing em all out..

but thats funny!

quote:

Originally posted by Gunyouken For some reason (DOn't ask me why ) this thread reminds me of the sound of music. la la la la la And whiskers on kittens snowbells and sleighbells and warm woolen mittens la la la la la something about spring These are a few of the funniest things When the dog bites when the lightning lights when I'm feeling saaaaaad I simply think of the funniest things and then I DON'T FEEEEEEELLLLLLL sooooooooooo BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. Thank you... thank you very much

Brown paper packages tied up with string

BEST STORY EVER

http://www.thingie.net/rants/what/

birds like to hang out on the air conditioner in my apt. one day i see two pigeons just perched on the AC and they didn't flinch when i moved towards them. all of a sudden, i see a brown pile coming out of one of them... wow was that a shocker

usually i get a good laugh out of the random irc anecdocts on bash.org as well

i almost got hit in the groin by an andy roddick serve during the us open (i work as a ballperson there)

quote:

Originally posted by trunks1022 birds like to hang out on the air conditioner in my apt. one day i see two pigeons just perched on the AC and they didn't flinch when i moved towards them. all of a sudden, i see a brown pile coming out of one of them... wow was that a shocker usually i get a good laugh out of the random irc anecdocts on bash.org as well i almost got hit in the groin by an andy roddick serve during the us open (i work as a ballperson there)

did u know i have Ornithophobia ?

quote:

Originally posted by Mebot Brown paper packages tied up with string

I've got this shit on vinyl

Re: Re: Re: the funniest things

quote:

Originally posted by Mebot Well so have I, but I was only like 1 year old.

ye well i did it when i was 20!!! and i was with my girlfriend at the time!! the shit was trickling down my leg and everythin!!

quote:

Originally posted by A.J. BEST STORY EVER http://www.thingie.net/rants/what/

WTF!
awesome story



and as for me....um...
hmm

k i didn't actually witness this, but i've heard it told and reenacted so many times i feel like i was there
so one of my friends (a sophomore in HS at the time, i was a senior), was in the school band, and all the band kids have gym together
he's already really accident prone, but he's goofy as hell about it so no one really ever feels sorry for him, but this really takes the cake
so he's in the gym and gets on one of the treadmills
he decides to see how fast it'll go, so he sets it to like max or close to it speed, still standing on the two side things and not on the actual treadmill itself
his bright idea is to just jump onto it and immediately be up to speed, which as you can tell isn't the greatest idea in the world
so he holds onto the metal bar by the console of the treamill and jumps on
his feet immediately both fly behind him and he's just there getting dragged by the treadmill, still hanging on for dear life to the metal bar
and then, somehow, the treadmill pants him, and in shock he lets go and is thrown off the back

so in short, he jumps onto the treadmill, immediately falls, gets pantsed, and shot off the treadmill

ahaha



he got pantsted by the treadmill! classic!

quote:

Originally posted by A.J. BEST STORY EVER http://www.thingie.net/rants/what/

Holy shit!!! Thats fuking incredible!!

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