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Posted by maxpain on Jan-28-2005 20:07:

Best way to break up?

Say you were in a relationship for a while and you have been treated pretty good and are pretty much happy overall and then something better comes along and everything is good there. If you are happy and have to break up with the first one then which is the best way to break it to them?

Are you supposed to say that something better came along or make up an excuse like you have to go away for a while or are moving away and hope you don't run into them? How do you move on and try not to hurt the first party when they need you and you don't want to hurt anyones feeling or burn any bridges?

What makes things even more complicated is that the old and new one know each other and the new one doesn't want to look like a theif and said don't say you're leaving to come to me. So how do you say goodbye with out saying the real reason and without mentioning the new one and without burning any bridges and pissing anyone off? What is the best thing to say here?


Posted by starsearcher on Jan-28-2005 20:13:

Get a belly button ring!

or a tattoo


Posted by E2EK1EL on Jan-28-2005 20:14:

You shouldn't end a relationship unless your really unhappy.


Posted by DJ_Science on Jan-28-2005 20:16:

^^ That is one of the best pieces of advice i have heard in a long while.


Posted by Irida on Jan-28-2005 20:17:

i think that its not possible to be in a perfect relasionship and look to other dirrections..so i believe that there where things that made u look somewhere else ...so find those things and u will find the words to sayyy....


Posted by djdustx on Jan-28-2005 20:21:

whats that quote from Al Pacino in Devil's Advocate?

" you can get the same satisfaction from love...by eating large amounts of chocolate" something like that

dont be a fuckin fool...if u find a girl who loves u and gives a shit about u...and stays bt ur side for awhile (6 months at least) then u work on that relationship...not move onto somethin new.

Wtf u gunna do when ur married for 20 yrs and u meet a female alot younger and wants u?

Dont let this be some serious mental issues for u later in life...best choice would be to stay wit the one whos loyal to u...and been there for thick and thin.

Sebasano


Posted by E2EK1EL on Jan-28-2005 20:21:

If a relationship is perfect, then you have a problem ... you need conflicts to understand each other better.

No such thing as a perfect relationship, I once thought I was in one ...


Posted by VERTiG0 on Jan-28-2005 20:24:

SEVER.

...all communication from the ex. That's if you were in love. If not, stop spending money one each other and seeing each other, and just have wild dirty sex.


Posted by E2EK1EL on Jan-28-2005 20:25:

quote:
Originally posted by djdustx
whats that quote from Al Pacino in Devil's Advocate?

" you can get the same satisfaction from love...by eating large amounts of chocolate" something like that

dont be a fuckin fool...if u find a girl who loves u and gives a shit about u...and stays bt ur side for awhile (6 months at least) then u work on that relationship...not move onto somethin new.

Wtf u gunna do when ur married for 20 yrs and u meet a female alot younger and wants u?

Dont let this be some serious mental issues for u later in life...best choice would be to stay wit the one whos loyal to u...and been there for thick and thin.

Sebasano


Sorry I don't mean to be so mean ... agree with Sebasano.

You'll regret it breaking up with her, you'll be the best fool for the rest of yoru life.

It's hard to find someone these days, random fucking is easy and it's useless when your depress and need someone just understand your pain in life.


Posted by starsearcher on Jan-28-2005 20:26:

maybe he doesn't want to be in a relatioship? maybe he just wants to bang some chicks...

just don't lead your girl on...if you're gonna do it, might as well break up now don't drag it...i'll have to diasgree with what some of you said - it's unfair to her and to the whole relationship.


Posted by muzzybear on Jan-28-2005 20:29:

That sucks you were looking over her shoulder for the next best thing. You should have ended it before you started looking. Nothing ever "happens". I feel bad for the first girl. Just tell her you're looking for something different than what you have. And lay low. Don't flaunt your new girl in her face for a while.


Posted by girllovingtvibe on Jan-28-2005 20:29:

just be honest - how about that ?


Posted by Miss Julia on Jan-28-2005 20:30:

Re: Best way to break up?

quote:
Originally posted by maxpain
Say you were in a relationship for a while and you have been treated pretty good and are pretty much happy overall and then something better comes along and everything is good there. If you are happy and have to break up with the first one then which is the best way to break it to them?

Are you supposed to say that something better came along or make up an excuse like you have to go away for a while or are moving away and hope you don't run into them? How do you move on and try not to hurt the first party when they need you and you don't want to hurt anyones feeling or burn any bridges?

What makes things even more complicated is that the old and new one know each other and the new one doesn't want to look like a theif and said don't say you're leaving to come to me. So how do you say goodbye with out saying the real reason and without mentioning the new one and without burning any bridges and pissing anyone off? What is the best thing to say here?



First of all, you need to think about what you really want. Guys always think the grass is greener on the other side, but they don't see what they have right in front of them.

Second, if this new girl really makes you happier and you want to be with her, then tell your girlfriend the truth, especially if you don't want to hurt her. Believe me, nothing is worse than a guy making up excuses. Girls always sense when guys aren't being honest with them, and that's what hurts the most.


Posted by muzzybear on Jan-28-2005 20:31:

quote:
Originally posted by girllovingtvibe
just be honest - how about that


Let's face it... if he's honest, he loses both! I don't know any girl who wants to be shared or second best. Unless you're "having fun" and don't have any "seeing each other" kind of commitment.

See you tonight, girl!


Posted by arek on Jan-28-2005 20:31:

looks like you do not know what you really want.


Posted by starsearcher on Jan-28-2005 20:34:

...He? say I know what I want

And I want it now

I want you, cause I? Mr Vain...




Posted by djdustx on Jan-28-2005 20:35:

Honest with a woman??

thats the worest advise i've heard comin from this site...also in the girls defence...why would she want to here that she wasted her time with some guy for?

Sebasano


Posted by starsearcher on Jan-28-2005 20:36:

quote:
Originally posted by djdustx
Honest with a woman??

thats the worest advise i've heard comin from this site...also in the girls defence...why would she want to here that she wasted her time with some guy for?

Sebasano


So she would rather believe that everything is ok while he's checking out or perhaps already sleeping other chicks?


Posted by djdustx on Jan-28-2005 20:38:

true...im jus glad i aint in this situation. Every girl i had my eyes never wondered...i think with my mind...not my head

Sebasano


Posted by starsearcher on Jan-28-2005 20:39:

My eyes are always wondering which is why i chose to be single and have fun...

Alfie!


Posted by Callie5 on Jan-28-2005 20:39:

personally, as a woman there's no friggin way I'd want to hear my b/f telling me he found someone better.. What a blow to someone's ego and not to mention seriously hurting their feelings... I'd rather hear that he's not happy and he's going to move on without me and leave it at that


Posted by maxpain on Jan-28-2005 20:48:

The issue here is not whether or not I am going to the new one because that has pretty much been decided since the new one is better overall and wants me to make a full commitment and get rid of the old one and to be honest I would like to keep both and do them on different days but I think that overall it is better to just make a full commitment to the new one especially when it seems like one has been made to me.

Now the tricky part is how to break up with the old one especially since the old and new one know each other and one way or another I think the old one will find out but the new one has told me not to tell the old one of why I'm leaving so the new one doesn't get bitched at by the old one for being a homewrecker or whatever so I can't fully tell the truth because it will get the new one in hot water.

Keep in mind that we have parted ways before and managed to come back together so I don't want to burn that bridge and get the old one pissed off so how is the best way to break up here?


Posted by arek on Jan-28-2005 20:49:

i don't think there's a best way to break up, and asking for it is well a dumb idea. noone here knows what your relationship is like, you have to be a man and do what you really want knowing it may backfire.


Posted by Miss Julia on Jan-28-2005 20:50:

quote:
Originally posted by Callie5
personally, as a woman there's no friggin way I'd want to hear my b/f telling me he found someone better.. What a blow to someone's ego and not to mention seriously hurting their feelings... I'd rather hear that he's not happy and he's going to move on without me and leave it at that


Well, obviously no girl would want to hear that from her boyfriend. He doesn't necessarily have to tell his girlfriend that he loves another girl. BUT at the same time, he shouldn't make up lame excuses like he has to move away, or whatever, and hope to never bump into her again.


Posted by girllovingtvibe on Jan-28-2005 20:54:

quote:
Originally posted by Miss Julia
Well, obviously no girl would want to hear that from her boyfriend. He doesn't necessarily have to tell his girlfriend that he loves another girl. BUT at the same time, he shouldn't make up lame excuses like he has to move away, or whatever, and hope to never bump into her again.


I would personally want honesty and the reason why. Even if that reason was another girl. Sure it would suck but at least I would know....i don't guess I am strange with that way of thinking.


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