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Relationship Question

OK here is the scenario:

Guy and Girl are together for three years.
They loved each other, things were awesome, until the last year where everything went to shit.
They break up, lots of pain and tears.
The Guy and Girl stop talking, Girl tries to cut Guy out of her life.
Several months after break up, Guy calls Girl pleading to at least still be friends.
Girl somewhat complies by agreeing to at least talk and be civil.
Nearly a year after break up, Guy calls Girl and says he wants to hang out like regular friends.
Girl is unsure if this is a good idea.
Girl does not have romantic feelings for Guy. Girl knows that she will never get back with Guy, EVER. Girl does not fully trust Guy, even in simple and seemingly innocent situations. Girl is unsure of Guys intentions; if there are any? Girl would like to be friends with Guy because she still cares about him as a person. Guy says he misses being around Girl. Guy says he knows that Guy and Girl will not get back together.

If any more info is needed, you may ask

Basically the question is, what should Girl do? Should she try and be friends, hang out with him and see how it goes? Or is it doomed to end in disaster? Should Girl cut Guy out of her life permanently? Thanks for the thoughts!

Re: Relationship Question

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Basically the question is, what should Girl do? Should she try and be friends, hang out with him and see how it goes? Or is it doomed to end in disaster? Should Girl cut Guy out of her life permanently? Thanks for the thoughts!

speaking from experience

Re: Relationship Question

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa OK here is the scenario: Guy and Girl are together for three years. They loved each other, things were awesome, until the last year where everything went to shit. They break up, lots of pain and tears. The Guy and Girl stop talking, Girl tries to cut Guy out of her life. Several months after break up, Guy calls Girl pleading to at least still be friends. Girl somewhat complies by agreeing to at least talk and be civil. Nearly a year after break up, Guy calls Girl and says he wants to hang out like regular friends. Girl is unsure if this is a good idea. Girl does not have romantic feelings for Guy. Girl knows that she will never get back with Guy, EVER. Girl does not fully trust Guy, even in simple and seemingly innocent situations. Girl is unsure of Guys intentions; if there are any? Girl would like to be friends with Guy because she still cares about him as a person. Guy says he misses being around Girl. Guy says he knows that Guy and Girl will not get back together. If any more info is needed, you may ask Basically the question is, what should Girl do? Should she try and be friends, hang out with him and see how it goes? Or is it doomed to end in disaster? Should Girl cut Guy out of her life permanently? Thanks for the thoughts!

play it safe...burn the bridge!

Re: Re: Relationship Question

quote:

Originally posted by mezzir speaking from experience

awesome J!!

Anyways i think its weird how the guy calls months after break up wanting to be friends again. Clearly things didnt go to well for him and now hes realized he lost something that was worth it (girl). Of course he says he wants to be just freinds but i dont think he means it, theres always more, you know what they say, were there was fire, ashes remain..yeah but anyways, i say fuck it, you gave him his chance..

the guy, imo, is definitely trying to hook back up with "the girl." otherwise he wouldn't talk to "the girl" anymore.

Girl should do whatever makes her the most sane/happy.
If bringing Guy back into her life is a pain in her ass, then she shouldnt do it. Especially if she doesnt trust him.
She should go with her gut instinct.

Re: Re: Re: Relationship Question

quote:

Originally posted by Danny Ocean awesome J!! Anyways i think its weird how the guy calls months after break up wanting to be friends again. Clearly things didnt go to well for him and now hes realized he lost something that was worth it (girl). Of course he says he wants to be just freinds but i dont think he means it, theres always more, you know what they say, were there was fire, ashes remain..yeah but anyways, i say fuck it, you gave him his chance..

When Guy called Girl the first time (several months after break up), he told her how much he was sorry, and how fucking things up was one of the biggest mistakes he's ever made. But Girl told him that there would never be a chance for them to be together again because wounds were cut far too deep.

I guess what Girl needs to know is; is there no possible way of being able to keep good ties with Guy? Girl is ok if Guy and Girl drift apart and never speak again. But that doesn't seem to work because Guy is persistent and even a year later, he is trying to be more in touch with Girl. So Girl figures if Guy really wants to be friends, why be mean and shut that out?

Girl thinks that never speaking to Guy again will hurt her, because of course Girl still cares about Guy as a person.

Is there a way that Girl can be friends with Guy, but in a safe way where Girl doesn't have to be too involved, and can dodge possible pain causing situations, for both Guy and Girl?

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Girl should do whatever makes her the most sane/happy. If bringing Guy back into her life is a pain in her ass, then she shouldnt do it. Especially if she doesnt trust him. She should go with her gut instinct.

Girl doesn't want to cut Guy out, but she doesn't want to set herself up for Guy hurting her, or attempting to reunite the relationship. She also doesn't want to see Guy get hurt either. Girl wonders if she stays friends with Guy, will it give him hope?

hehe all this relationship talk with no names is making me think sebashtrick's back

Does Girl always refer to herself in the 3rd person? If so why? I would like the Girl to stop because it's annoying to the Guy posting this message.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow Does Girl always refer to herself in the 3rd person? If so why? I would like the Girl to stop because it's annoying to the Guy posting this message.

LMAO!

See, the purpose of naming the characters Guy and Girl in my scenario was to stray you from thinking it was me

The best advice would be not to do this at all:

quote:

Girl somewhat complies by agreeing to at least talk and be civil.

Failing that, stay away! It will be to your mutual benefit. So saith the Arbiter.

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa LMAO! See, the purpose of naming the characters Guy and Girl in my scenario was to stray you from thinking it was me

lolz
yeah that never works
if you're ever gonna use that strategy, first do a couple similar threads where the person you're referring to as she is awesome or something
like one about this girl you know who's gorgeous and can down shots with the best of em, then another about another girl you know who went with avb back to his room after a set of his and then knocked him out with a lamp and stole his shit
then when you posted a thread like this we wouldn't be so absolutely sure it was you

quote:

Originally posted by mezzir lolz yeah that never works if you're ever gonna use that strategy, first do a couple similar threads where the person you're referring to as she is awesome or something like one about this girl you know who's gorgeous and can down shots with the best of em, then another about another girl you know who went with avb back to his room after a set of his and then knocked him out with a lamp and stole his shit then when you posted a thread like this we wouldn't be so absolutely sure it was you

Damnit, I need to plan my game out better

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Damnit, I need to plan my game out better

and don't get any ideas about registering a new nick and posing as a guy either
we'll figure you out

hehe and i'm rather proud of the idea of going back to some big dj's room after the after party and knocking him out and taking his shit
if anyone could do that and take pics, i'd be forever indebted

quote:

Originally posted by mezzir and don't get any ideas about registering a new nick and posing as a guy either we'll figure you out

SHIT!

UNLESS I'M ACTUALLY THERESA!!!!
HAHAHA FOOLED YOU ******S!

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Girl doesn't want to cut Guy out, but she doesn't want to set herself up for Guy hurting her, or attempting to reunite the relationship. She also doesn't want to see Guy get hurt either. Girl wonders if she stays friends with Guy, will it give him hope?

Yeah, thats usually the way things work.

But if you want to hang out with him in a regular lots-of-friends daytime setting, that would be alright. I mean, I guess just so you can say youre not a snotface, which you arent.

quote:

Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie Yeah, thats usually the way things work. But if you want to hang out with him in a regular lots-of-friends daytime setting, that would be alright. I mean, I guess just so you can say youre not a snotface, which you arent.

Yay! An answer I am liking more....

Thank you Ange (((((((((HUG))))))))

P.S. I really appreciate the honesty you guys are offering here It's helping Girl make her decision

No problemo.

you should probably just date me. I think thats an easier Solution, Theresa

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax you should probably just date me. I think thats an easier Solution, Theresa

Hmmm, well do you think the 2538 Miles betweens us will cause a problem?

Ok, back on topic.

Does anybody have any other compromises for this situation? Opinions, ideas?

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