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mom doesnt like couple because hes asian! like WTF!
Alright, one of my friends is going out with an asian guy. Her moms had problems with some of her bfs in the past, but those didnt matter she said, this guy does.
She said to her, she thinks hes a really nice guy, really nice.
Today her cusin told her that her mom was talking to her mom. On the phone she said she thought he was really nice, a really great guy, but under the circumstances she cant like him (because hes asian).
Her cusin told her not to tell her mom because then they know it came from her cusin. So her mom doesnt know my friend knows, and now she doesnt even want to face her mom tomorrow. Shes totally pissed, totally upset, her mind is like totally blown her mom can say that. She doesnt know what to do.
What should she do?? 
Re: mom doesnt like couple because hes asian! like WTF!
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| Originally posted by Playa24_7 What should she do?? |
That's messed
If she really cares about this guy, then she won't care about what her mom thinks.......and if the mom really cares about her daughter she will get over herself and accept it
Gee, that's tuff. I'm not sure how delicate a mother-daughter relationship is but I personally feel like nothing can come between you and your mother...there are all kinds of shit that I couldn't admit to my Dad, but couldn't keep away from Mom.
IMHO, the relationship between your friend and her Mom comes before the relationship between your friend and her cousin. The Mom (again, if the relationship is that close) should not mention it to her ?sister? (your friend's aunt I guess?) that your friend told her, to maintain the confidence that your friend's cousin has in your friend.
Holy shit...just keeping track of relationships in this was a tuffy but I hope I'm not too confusing!!! Hope it goes well, brah!
EDIT:
Good point, Ben...I am now engaged to a girl outside my background and it took a while for my Mom to get used to the idea (try 3 years) but this girl meant a lot for me so I was patient (not to mention hid all kinds of stuff! 
LOL!) But eventually, the point is she came around, especially after they met a few times and my Mom saw how my fiancee truly cares for my family...
Well, her mom will just have to get used to the idea. When I started dating girls outside of my culture my parents weren't too keen on it either but after a while they gave up trying to control me. Tell your friend that her mom just needs some time to see beyond her bf's skin color.
Alot of talks with her mom ends up in fights she said, so I told her
"well hey, if it does, then forget her. dont even bring it up unless she does. just keep giong about it, and she can frig off! and if she decides to bring it up, you can tell her that your not letting her get you to make a decision you dont want to because of her beliefs! and you will stay with him"
Yeah avoiding fights for the short term is good but in can lead to some serious long term issues...it depends on how much your friend REALLY cares about this guy (it may be early but does she see herself marrying him?)
If so, then eventually your friend and her Mom need to discuss WHY her Mom feels the way she does and be proven that her beliefs are wrong in this case (easier said than done...as it took me a few years to prove that)...
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| Originally posted by fayraree If so, then eventually your friend and her Mom need to discuss WHY her Mom feels the way she does and be proven that her beliefs are wrong in this case (easier said than done...as it took me a few years to prove that)... |
oh wait a minute!! there are no black people involved, so why did i post that????
ummmmm............hmmmmmmmmm......ok i think my moment of comic relief has past now 
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| Originally posted by trancechaos oh wait a minute!! there are no black people involved, so why did i post that???? ummmmm............hmmmmmmmmm......ok i think my moment of comic relief has past now |
always stick to your own kind in relationships... less headaches, yes even in 2005.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by trancechaos oh wait a minute!! there are no black people involved, so why did i post that???? ummmmm............hmmmmmmmmm......ok i think my moment of comic relief has past now |
Of course I agree w/ the general senitment here... her mom is just gonna hafta get over it.
I think i would definately confront my parents... but i dont keep secrets or hide shit from my parents, be that relationships, drugs, sex, or anything else.
i cant stand dealing w/ hiding shit. it eats away at you. personally, im just saying id confront my rents. if they really hated a gf of mine, thats something id want to deal with. i woudlnt want my gf ever taking that brunt of their dislike for her (i dunno, maybe my parents would act rude to her, or whutever), so even if i wouldnt do it for myself, id talk to my rents for my gf
especially on a matter like. they wont accept him bc hes asian... whut the hell is that!?!?!?!?!?
i hope everything works out for your friend Playa... it is such a great feeling when you know your significant other is loved by your loved ones! 
-Jem-
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| Originally posted by dEsidEL how do you know the girl isn't black ?? are we assuming something? |
she should front up to da moms and say yo yo mama you better recognizeeee yo!
seriously, the mother cannot control the daughter's life. she needs to get over her prejudice bs before she loses a daughter.
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| Originally posted by malek always stick to your own kind in relationships... less headaches, yes even in 2005. |
its amazing how often this stuff happens in this day and age still.....
Love is supposed to be unconditional right??? Thats what I thought, anyways......Its only unconditional if the person finds it truly worth allt he "hardships" of bringing somebody different home. If they dont, it wasnt unconditional afterall....
It's so sad that even now, some parents still have issues with other races. I'm lucky my parents are totally cool with me dating people outside my race, because if they weren't i think we would have a really huge problem.
I really feel for your friend, although i didn't really understand the first part of your post... the whole relationships with the aunt, the cousin, the cousin's friend's aunt 
or something... didn't really get that lol Has your friend's mom outright told her she couldn't date the guy or is this just what someone else heard and then repeated to her? If she only heard about it, she should confront her mom and bring the issue out in the open. It's better for her to be clear about everything.
IMHO, if the mother really had such a big problem with it she would have straight out told her daughter. I'd find out if her cousin (or whatever that relation is) is right first before making assumptions that could be potentially harmful to their mother-daughter relationship.
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| Originally posted by raveed which reminds me ... i need to start giving my mommie hints that she better not even think about arranged marriages for me ... |
damn asians with their ching ching chang chong ching. like HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO WE CANT UNDERSTAND U! Go Back Where You Came From!!! White POwer!
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| Originally posted by raveed which reminds me ... i need to start giving my mommie hints that she better not even think about arranged marriages for me ... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by fayraree LOL!! TOO LATE!!! She's been thinking about that since you were BORN!!! LOL! |
Re: mom doesnt like couple because hes asian! like WTF!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Playa24_7 Alright, one of my friends is going out with an asian guy. Her moms had problems with some of her bfs in the past, but those didnt matter she said, this guy does. She said to her, she thinks hes a really nice guy, really nice. Today her cusin told her that her mom was talking to her mom. On the phone she said she thought he was really nice, a really great guy, but under the circumstances she cant like him (because hes asian). Her cusin told her not to tell her mom because then they know it came from her cusin. So her mom doesnt know my friend knows, and now she doesnt even want to face her mom tomorrow. Shes totally pissed, totally upset, her mind is like totally blown her mom can say that. She doesnt know what to do. What should she do?? |
she should have asian babies.
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| Originally posted by loca It's so sad that even now, some parents still have issues with other races. I'm lucky my parents are totally cool with me dating people outside my race, because if they weren't i think we would have a really huge problem. I really feel for your friend, although i didn't really understand the first part of your post... the whole relationships with the aunt, the cousin, the cousin's friend's aunt or something... didn't really get that lol Has your friend's mom outright told her she couldn't date the guy or is this just what someone else heard and then repeated to her? If she only heard about it, she should confront her mom and bring the issue out in the open. It's better for her to be clear about everything.IMHO, if the mother really had such a big problem with it she would have straight out told her daughter. I'd find out if her cousin (or whatever that relation is) is right first before making assumptions that could be potentially harmful to their mother-daughter relationship. |
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