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Posted by AlphaStarred on Jun-27-2005 03:39:

Puns & more

Got this in the e-mail...some food for thought.

> 1. Can you cry under water?
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> 2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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> 3. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
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> 4. Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
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> 5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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> 6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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> 7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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> 8. What disease did cured ham actually have?
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> 9. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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> 10. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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> 11. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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> 12. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
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> 13. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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> 14. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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> 15. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America???
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> 16. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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> 17. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
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> 18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
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> 19. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
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> 20. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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> 21. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? (I've always wondered..) They have lights in freezers now.
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> 22. When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
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> 23. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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> 24. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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> 25. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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> 26. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
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> 27. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
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> 28. What do you call male ballerinas?
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> 29. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
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> 30. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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> 31. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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> 32. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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> 33. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
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> 34. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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> 35. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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> 36. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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> 37. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Posted by eye_03 on Jun-27-2005 08:09:

i liked the toaster one?

Posted by D-res on Jun-27-2005 08:27:

Re: Puns & more

quote:
Originally posted by AlphaStarred

> 34. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
>
>
> 35. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

omgwtf

Posted by Basstard on Jun-27-2005 11:18:

nou been meaning to ask you

who da fcuk is the huni in ur avatar and what does she think of a guy with an irish accent?

Posted by vrahnos on Jun-27-2005 11:33:

Re: Puns & more

quote:
Originally posted by AlphaStarred

> 31. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
>
>
> 32. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>

Posted by Basstard on Jun-27-2005 11:40:

one that isnt on the list but i like:

If pro is the opposite of con, wat is the opposite of progress?

Posted by gd_nimrod on Jun-27-2005 14:19:

Re: Puns & more

quote:
Originally posted by AlphaStarred

> 34. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
>
>
> 35. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

WTF H4X!11111

Posted by placebo on Jun-27-2005 14:58:

Re: Re: Puns & more

quote:
Originally posted by D-res

omgwtf

hahaha funniest shit ever

Posted by shades_of_gray on Jun-27-2005 16:19:

good shit

Posted by Kaz on Jun-27-2005 19:29:

Re: Puns & more

quote:

> 29. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
>

That's a good question..

and yes:
http://www.studentbmj.com/back_issu...cation/140.html

Posted by Aiwendil on Jun-27-2005 19:35:

Hope. Crushed. Ability. Smashed. Reason. Annhialated. What is left. What.

Posted by AlphaStarred on Jun-28-2005 00:20:

quote:
Originally posted by Aiwendil
Hope. Crushed. Ability. Smashed. Reason. Annhialated. What is left. What.

Death by Despair.