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-- Something for the stress heads!
Something for the stress heads!
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to a mosque doesn't make you a Muslim any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel faster through the mail than checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
SOmething to relieve the stress - a bit.
30 LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on
Re: Something for the stress heads!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Anomyst 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by AussieTrance 29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. |
haha, cheers for the laugh 
unfortunately, stress level is only exceeded by present caffeine level.
| quote: |
| I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on |
these are great!! much needed in this dismal exam period (which ends FRIDAYYYYYYYYY!)
| quote: |
| I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Nyquist_Theorem WICKED. Can I get that on a T shirt? |
Put a smile on my dial!
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