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Ok MEN!

so, if you were really scared to tell a girl you love them, would you buy them a book called "The 5 Languages of Love - How to Express Heartfelt Commitement to Your Mate"?




hahah the first chapter is about keeping the love alive after marriage.



no seriously...last friday i drove to his place to pick him up (we had a movie date) and i call him when i'm outside but he wants me to come inside. so i walk in his room and there's a little giftbag on his bed with a card that says my name on it. he got me that book, along with this cute little tank top he picked out for me (picking out CLOTHES for me already?? jeesus!) and a card saying how much he missed me last week. we're just dating but we definitely are really into each other. we only see each other on weekends too.


is it safe to assume that maybe he loves me?

probably just obsessed.

there should be a 6 month rule on the whoel saying you love the other. I dunno bout your scenario, but usually there is a sex haze for a while, once you pop outta that and kick into real relationship mode, then you can judge how much you do or don't love the other.



how long you two been courting?

maybe hes trying to tell you that you're bad in bed


this guy has "crazy stalker ex-boyfriend" written all over him

It's never safe to assume anything. That said either he loves you or he wants you to think he does.... are you fuckin' this guy yet? If not he is likely just trying to get some ass.

....no. no man, hell no. i believe you'd get your ass kicked for doing something like that.

lol

noooooo...he's not a stalker type. he's just really sweet and sensitive.


we met on 4th of july weekend and we've been hanging out pretty much every weekend since then, give or take a few. we've already hooked up so he's not trying to get in my pants any more


the only thing i don't like is that last night he sort of gave me a guilt trip on the phone because he "didn't get to see me as much as he wanted to". HE HAD PLANS with his friends on sat. (a co-worker's bday) and then on sunday i didn't feel like driving 35 minutes (umm gas prices!!) to miami and he didn't offer to drive up to me, so i was just like oh well..

but he basically needs to be with me A LOT and i basically told him i can't do that right now...i just got out of a relationship and i'm starting school next month...and he's in grad school anyway, so we're both really busy, but i think he might be a little needy. i have to train him a little...

yeah time to crack the whip, show him whos boss in this ordeal

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee lol noooooo...he's not a stalker type. he's just really sweet and sensitive. we met on 4th of july weekend and we've been hanging out pretty much every weekend since then, give or take a few. we've already hooked up so he's not trying to get in my pants any more the only thing i don't like is that last night he sort of gave me a guilt trip on the phone because he "didn't get to see me as much as he wanted to". HE HAD PLANS with his friends on sat. (a co-worker's bday) and then on sunday i didn't feel like driving 35 minutes (umm gas prices!!) to miami and he didn't offer to drive up to me, so i was just like oh well.. but he basically needs to be with me A LOT and i basically told him i can't do that right now...i just got out of a relationship and i'm starting school next month...and he's in grad school anyway, so we're both really busy, but i think he might be a little needy. i have to train him a little...

him into shape like im sure you know how...

Train him? Sorry Jamie but you (yes even you) can't change a man. What you would need to do is make him want to change. I say offer him anal if he can demonstrate his willingness to be less needy. If you've already taken him in your ass then offer him a 3some. If you've done that too then I'm all out of ideas.

I don't buy a book, I get all distant and weird until she breaks up with me. Dam commitment issues.

Re: Ok MEN!

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee hahah the first chapter is about keeping the love alive after marriage.

i'd be freaked out

i'd assume he is probably falling in love with you. what other excuse does he have for buying such a cheesy book. that's gotta be an act committed by a man blinded by the emotions of love.

He's a guy that prolly has Steel Magnolia's in his DVD collection.

How sad...

the curse of the sensitive man is being needy. trust me i know hahaah


this dude is a good looking guy so i assume that he's dated quite a bit yes? i only ask because in my first couple of relationships i was pretty damn needy...but i think i'm growing beyond that now...hopefully he will too because it's always cute and adorable in the begining, but then it gets old and annoying...once again...trust me i know hehehe

did you flat out ask him what the purpose of him buying you a book like that was supposed to represent? obviously he's trying to tell you something that he doesn't feel comfortable saying, whether it's "i love you or not"

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller the curse of the sensitive man is being needy. trust me i know hahaah this dude is a good looking guy so i assume that he's dated quite a bit yes? i only ask because in my first couple of relationships i was pretty damn needy...but i think i'm growing beyond that now...hopefully he will too because it's always cute and adorable in the begining, but then it gets old and annoying...once again...trust me i know hehehe

actually he's only had 3 girlfriends...1 in high school and 2 in college. and i'm sure he's had a few "things" in between those, but he definitely does not strike me as this big "lady's man" type even though he's smoking hot. i don't think he realizes how hot he is. he said girls didn't really start noticing him until his 2nd year in college.

anyway, yea it's kind of cute, but i'm smart enough to know that this is going to get old eventually. i had to like reassure him on the phone last night that i really did want to see him, but that bla bla bla, and that i can't wait to see him again next weekend bla bla bla and then he said he felt better. but i mean, i hung up kind of annoyed.

i emailed him a long email today and i told him that i want to take things slowly and that if he needs more out of a relationship right now, that i can't do anything more than i already am and that he's either ok with it, or he's not...i told him we have all the time in the world, and i don't want to rush things...i'm nuts about him, but for some reason i'm being really mature this time, which is weird. i usually jump right into things and get all intense and emotional and then it only lasts a little while. but with him i want to take my time and plus i have too much going on right now...i'm putting myself first and getting all my shit in order before i can focus 100% on another relationship. i mean christ, i'm still friends with my ex and i get a little upset thinking about him sometimes too just cuz we were such good friends...i need time to get over that one first.

so we'll see what he says.

quote:

Originally posted by JenniferRene did you flat out ask him what the purpose of him buying you a book like that was supposed to represent? obviously he's trying to tell you something that he doesn't feel comfortable saying, whether it's "i love you or not"

of course i did actually a week ago, he brought it up...i forget how or what we were talking about but he was like, "yea there's supposed to be like these 5 things you should do in a relationship...one of them is words of affirmation, and bla bla bla" and i was just like listening to him, but i didn't know where he was going with it. so anyway, he told me that he looked it up and remembered that it was a book.


i was just like, "so what possessed you to buy me this book?"

and he tried to play it off like, "oh well i dunno you said you like to go to bookstores and you like books and we were talking about it, so i just thought i'd get you something to let you know i was thinking about you this week"

and i just smiled at him and said, "uh huh"


like, "RIIIGHT!"

lol but i didn't want to put him on the spot any more than i already did, and i don't even think i was ready (or AM ready) to hear him say the L word anyway...i don't think i can say it back.

as boomer said any guy that says he loves you much before 6 months is likely bullshitting you to keep you happy, or just doesnt really know what love is yet. tho obviously everyone's different

i'd like to think im kinda a sensitive guy, but i'd be wary of telling a girl something like that so soon. admittedly my girlfriend got a bit worried when it took me 8 months to realise and she thought maybe we werent right for each other, but when i finally said it she appreciated that is was for real and i had been waiting till i was sure.

giving you a book like that tho just sounds fucking gay

Re: Ok MEN!

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee a little giftbag on his bed with a card that says my name on it. he got me that book, along with this cute little tank top he picked out for me (picking out CLOTHES for me already?? jeesus!) and a card saying how much he missed me last week. we're just dating but we definitely are really into each other. we only see each other on weekends too.

Seriously Jamie that gives me the creeps. I would have excused myself and climbed out the bathroom window. I hope this guy doesn't know where you live. Whats next panties and a Dr. Phil video?

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee actually he's only had 3 girlfriends...1 in high school and 2 in college. and i'm sure he's had a few "things" in between those, but he definitely does not strike me as this big "lady's man" type even though he's smoking hot. i don't think he realizes how hot he is. he said girls didn't really start noticing him until his 2nd year in college. anyway, yea it's kind of cute, but i'm smart enough to know that this is going to get old eventually. i had to like reassure him on the phone last night that i really did want to see him, but that bla bla bla, and that i can't wait to see him again next weekend bla bla bla and then he said he felt better. but i mean, i hung up kind of annoyed. i emailed him a long email today and i told him that i want to take things slowly and that if he needs more out of a relationship right now, that i can't do anything more than i already am and that he's either ok with it, or he's not...i told him we have all the time in the world, and i don't want to rush things...i'm nuts about him, but for some reason i'm being really mature this time, which is weird. i usually jump right into things and get all intense and emotional and then it only lasts a little while. but with him i want to take my time and plus i have too much going on right now...i'm putting myself first and getting all my shit in order before i can focus 100% on another relationship. i mean christ, i'm still friends with my ex and i get a little upset thinking about him sometimes too just cuz we were such good friends...i need time to get over that one first. so we'll see what he says.

i promise you jamie...this guy is mentally just like me when it comes to women...or atleast pretty close. if you ever need me to decode what he's saying i'll do my best hahaha

with that said though...i hope it works out because he is a nice guy, but we ruin things without really realizing it until too much damage is done. i hope that somehow he can grow out of those things which i know he is doing or if not will start doing in the future...

you're probably right...he's probably falling for you hard. and really all he wants is to make you the happiest person in the world...so if you can be patient with that and reassure him when he needs it...which i promise will be a lot...then i think you guys will be fine. if not, well i hate to say it, but it might be hard down the road...

look i've done the whole psycho bf thing and i definitely can tell when something is "creepy" or not. this guy is anything but creepy. he's like too good to be true, but he's just coming on a little strong, that's all.

he remembers EVERY F'n thing i say. even the other day he asked what i had for lunch and i told him i made tuna salad and he was like, "did you put apples in it"? hahaha i guess i told him i like apples in my tuna salad like a few weeks ago...

he always brings up things i said and remembers them...things that I don't even remember.


seriously guys, take notes!

i disagree about having to wait a certain time to say the L word. if it happens it happens...if you feel it, you do...love doesn't really have any time limits or anything like that. everyone's different though.

oh yea, he also said to me, "we should just get an apt together" and i just cracked up and i was like, "oh yea, let's play house" and then he was like, "haha i know i'm jk, but it's fun to think about it"


my mom is just like, "he's got it BAD!"

that makes me smile, but like i said, i'm not quite ready to commit yet. why does it always have to be about bad timing?

quote:

Originally posted by mentalbarter as boomer said any guy that says he loves you much before 6 months is likely bullshitting you to keep you happy, or just doesnt really know what love is yet. tho obviously everyone's different

I'm not inclined to agree with you. I was in love with my wife within a month of meeting each other. At most it was 2 months before I told her this. Sometimes love, real love, can develope very quickly.... it depends on a whole host of factors, however,it is possible.

BTW, I would have felt the same way as you 5 years ago.

i think he's getting too excited about the whole ordeal, but good call on ur part by taking it slow....if u rush things, it could potentially fuck shit up, and leave both people hurt

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller i promise you jamie...this guy is mentally just like me when it comes to women...or atleast pretty close. if you ever need me to decode what he's saying i'll do my best hahaha with that said though...i hope it works out because he is a nice guy, but we ruin things without really realizing it until too much damage is done. i hope that somehow he can grow out of those things which i know he is doing or if not will start doing in the future... you're probably right...he's probably falling for you hard. and really all he wants is to make you the happiest person in the world...so if you can be patient with that and reassure him when he needs it...which i promise will be a lot...then i think you guys will be fine. if not, well i hate to say it, but it might be hard down the road...

that's what i figured. i think he's just really sweet and he really needs to know that i feel strongly about him...trust me, i have no problem reassuring and i'm really good at it too...my letter to him was really good i think. i can tell though that even after this, he'll still get like this occasionally...especially if like i don't see him one weekend.

but you know what? i would much rather have this burden with a guy than to be with an asshole who barely knows i'm alive and treats me like shit. and no, i'm not referring to my ex...that's a little harsh...he wasn't that bad. but i just meant like in general, i'd rather have a sweetie like this guy than the opposite. i can handle it.


i'm gonna take u up on that decoding stuff



oh yea, and i agree with moral 100%. i swear to god, the night that i met this guy, i was driving home and i got really emotionally happy (like almost crying) and i was just like, "wtf is this??"

then the next morning i called my mom and she was like, "did u have fun last night?"

my response was, "oh yea...i met the guy i'm going to marry"

I'm not saying creepy in the stalker sense (that me ), I mean creepy in the needy sense. From the little I know he's away from home (ohio) and he clinging to you like towel thats come out of the dryer. He might think he's in love with you but he's just lonely and going tru that i'm older and need to settle down with a girl quick phase. BTW, is this guy related to Jason?

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