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-- 50 Things to do @ WalMart...


Posted by WhooCares on Nov-25-2005 20:44:

50 Things to do @ WalMart...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.


20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Feel free to add more...
haha i thought these were hilarious tho...


Posted by Azz3D on Nov-25-2005 20:45:

and how old are you?
that looks like what a pothead hippie jobless bum would do daily...

i work part time at a supermarket and there is nothing funny about someone filling up the shopping cart and just leaving it there


Posted by Lepanto on Nov-25-2005 20:50:

dude, old than grandpa time and mother nature...


Posted by Misanthrope on Nov-25-2005 20:54:

quote:
Originally posted by Azz3D
and how old are you?
that looks like what a pothead hippie jobless bum would do daily...

i work part time at a supermarket and there is nothing funny about someone filling up the shopping cart and just leaving it there



hahahahahahahahahahhhahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaah.


Posted by Vlad on Nov-25-2005 20:59:

51. Walk into the store with a limp, say you have a broken foot, and ask to use one of thse electric scooters that old people drive - and joy ride through the entire store.


Posted by BTG on Nov-25-2005 21:10:

fight over laptops:

http://dynamic.cnn.com/apps/tp/vide...26-%26-%26-%26\


Posted by Geed on Nov-25-2005 21:15:

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"


Hahahahahahahahahaaha.

Also the one about the woices was good,..


Posted by Antony on Nov-25-2005 21:27:

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

my favorite, and the laptop movie: best reason for a fight ever


Posted by XoxidE on Nov-25-2005 21:51:

52. Walk up to someone and say "Can I have a piggyback ride?"

53. Go next to someone's cart and grab a random object from it and sniff it, and after that, raise an eyebrow and walk away...walk faster...and then do an all out sprint.


Posted by XoxidE on Nov-25-2005 21:57:

54. Grab someone's hair and say, where did you get yours?


Posted by XoxidE on Nov-25-2005 22:05:

quote:
Originally posted by BTG
fight over laptops:

http://dynamic.cnn.com/apps/tp/vide...26-%26-%26-%26\


omg $398 laptops...ofcourse i would fight over them!!!


Posted by Keo_Nade on Nov-26-2005 05:41:

Re: 50 Things to do @ WalMart...

quote:
Originally posted by DjWhooCares
If the cashier protests, kill them.


thats kinda harsh. not to funny either. poor show.


Posted by simplcake on Nov-26-2005 07:05:

55. yell "where are the fucking walls"



or not


Posted by RapidFire on Nov-26-2005 08:22:

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

heh it really does get annoying when every single person you walk by that works there asks you if you need help. jesus im not incompetent, if i need help ill ask for it.


Posted by BTG on Nov-26-2005 08:24:

59. destroy its heart.


Posted by Allied Nations on Nov-26-2005 08:27:

quote:
Originally posted by BTG
59. destroy its heart.




SP ftw.


Posted by Carriegsxr6 on Nov-26-2005 09:30:

60. Fill up your cart with 100 items and make the cashier scan and bag them all. Haggle with her about the price on 25 of them. Then pull out a million coupons and make her input them all as well. Finally, say you left your wallet at home.


Posted by sweetcandy girl on Nov-26-2005 19:36:

quote:
Originally posted by Carriegsxr6
60. Fill up your cart with 100 items and make the cashier scan and bag them all. Haggle with her about the price on 25 of them. Then pull out a million coupons and make her input them all as well. Finally, say you left your wallet at home.






That is so Wrong But hella Funny!


Posted by XoxidE on Nov-26-2005 19:40:

61. Take some items to the cashier and when she asks for money, pull out a bucket of pennies and start counting them 1 by 1.


Posted by Purple on Nov-26-2005 19:59:

quote:
Originally posted by sweetcandy girl



That is so Wrong But hella Funny!


Dear Candy girl,

You posted same message twice by mistake.

Can you delete one sweetheart.

Yours lovingly,

Purple.


Posted by Pariah Cleric on Nov-26-2005 23:05:

quote:
Originally posted by Carriegsxr6
60. Fill up your cart with 100 items and make the cashier scan and bag them all. Haggle with her about the price on 25 of them. Then pull out a million coupons and make her input them all as well. Finally, say you left your wallet at home.


I would have to slit your throat by the rules of ShopKo. Seriously, that's what they told us to do in training if this exact situation happened.


Posted by simplcake on Nov-27-2005 00:45:

quote:
Originally posted by XoxidE
61. Take some items to the cashier and when she asks for money, pull out a bucket of pennies and start counting them 1 by 1.


you'll probably get stabbed by person behind you

cashier is there all day, he doesnt care.


Posted by constantreality on Nov-27-2005 02:19:

half this should be labeled " how to piss of people that work in retail "


Posted by Sean Cassidy on Nov-27-2005 03:39:

the number one thing I do at WALMART......

nothing!


I don't shop at that shit hole place - FUCK THAT!


WALMART MAKES ME ANGRY!!!!



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