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-- Greatest Theories EVER!
Greatest Theories EVER!
Sorry if this is a repost:
THEORIES CONTEST WINNERS
sponsored by Omni magazine
HONORABLE MENTION:
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.
RUNNER-UP #4:
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.
RUNNER-UP #3:
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.
RUNNER-UP #2:
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.
RUNNER-UP #1:
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
GRAND PRIZE WINNER:
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
Runner no. 1 up's is class 
Those are real witty.
but would it work if you used 'I can't believe it's not butter' instead? 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by igottaknow but would it work if you used 'I can't believe it's not butter' instead? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by RapidFire chuck norris can believe its not butter! |
that's funny
haha so that's where my friend got the infinite toast/cat array from :P
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dinoXpress HAHAH!!! LAUGH OUT LOUD!!! |
haha #2 made me laugh... the grand prize winner one made me fall of my chair.. 
... thank you.
rofl. this is class.
is there a link to more of these dino?
excellent
I don't get the honorable mention.
another theory.
if i set out to drink 32 ounces of vodka in decreasing amounts of each dose being 1/2 of the previous one (and the first "shot" being 16 oz), i will eventually get sober while drinking more and more.
the dose will get smaller and smaller, infinitely approaching 0, but i will never be able finish the 32 ounces in terms of discrete measurements. with the dose getting smaller and smaller, my liver will be able to process and break down alcohol faster, eventually catching up with my drinking habit and sobering me up. of course, for scientific reasons and for the fun of the experiment, we can stop at the size of 1 molecule of ethyl alcohol being the smallest dose possible
anyone cares to try to prove this theory in an experiment?
Was the one about yawning and the difference in pressure a joke?
If yes, what's the real reason?
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tholius Was the one about yawning and the difference in pressure a joke? If yes, what's the real reason? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tholius Was the one about yawning and the difference in pressure a joke? If yes, what's the real reason? |
santa clause and his elvs are a metaphore for the USA and China 
The Cat/toast one was old when your grandma was young.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by tribu The Cat/toast one was old when your grandma was young. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by BTG santa clause and his elvs are a metaphore for the USA and China |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ RJT I'm embarassed for you... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by plastikE The humour in your avatar just grew exponentially because of the santa hat..hah |
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