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Posted by LittlePoonzgirl on Jan-11-2006 14:45:

on a break?

no, not from partying...I want to party now more than ever

So my bf and I have been together for over 3 years, and living together for over 2 years. And, well, he's quite a bit older than me so the question of our future (ie. marriage) came up. To be sure we are right for each other we decided to go on a temporary 'break'.

has anyone else gone through something like this?

Posted by DigDeep on Jan-11-2006 14:46:

so by break, does that mean you guys are allowed to see other people?

if so.......

UNLEASH!!!

Posted by LKD on Jan-11-2006 15:01:

ive been on a "break" with this girl for several years now....i wonder when the "break" ends...

Posted by Moral Hazard on Jan-11-2006 15:11:

srsly, what constitutes a break and is there a solid reconsiliation date? Who's idea was this?

Posted by LittlePoonzgirl on Jan-11-2006 15:16:

quote:
Originally posted by Moral Hazard
srsly, what constitutes a break and is there a solid reconsiliation date? Who's idea was this?

break=a time to see other people

how long=I don't know, I guess until we are ready (perhaps a few months)

who's idea=both of ours, more him though seeing as I'm still young and have plenty of time...he's not quite as young and doesn't have as much time

LKD, I think unfortunately that 'break' is a 'break-up' *big happy hug to make you feel better*

Posted by Moral Hazard on Jan-11-2006 15:19:

quote:
Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl
break=a time to see other people

how long=I don't know, I guess until we are ready (perhaps a few months)

who's idea=both of ours, more him though seeing as I'm still young and have plenty of time...he's not quite as young and doesn't have as much time

LKD, I think unfortunately that 'break' is a 'break-up' *big happy hug to make you feel better*

a) I would set a definate end date on which you will meet to discuss the events of the past few months and decide your future.

b) What type of contact will the two of you maintain, if any, during this time?

Posted by The Highroller on Jan-11-2006 15:19:

quote:
Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl
break=a time to see other people

*Fumbles around for cell phone and quickly looks for Michelle's number*

Posted by LKD on Jan-11-2006 15:20:

quote:
Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl
LKD, I think unfortunately that 'break' is a 'break-up' *big happy hug to make you feel better*

noooooooooooooo

and i have been keeping a reserved sign on me for all these years?? thats it...im back out on the prowl now....

LAYDEES I IS SINGLE!!!!

Posted by Euphorica on Jan-11-2006 15:29:

i know of quite a few people who have done this.

Posted by Summer21 on Jan-11-2006 15:31:

In my opinion a "break" is a bunch of B.S... it's like cheating but with an excuse. If you feel the need to see other people, then you're not meant to be together, and/or there are some serious problems in the relationship. I never understood this approach.

Sandra

Posted by DigitalMP on Jan-11-2006 15:32:

Re: on a break?

quote:
Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl
no, not from partying...I want to party now more than ever

So my bf and I have been together for over 3 years, and living together for over 2 years. And, well, he's quite a bit older than me so the question of our future (ie. marriage) came up. To be sure we are right for each other we decided to go on a temporary 'break'.

has anyone else gone through something like this?

wanna come over?

Posted by r5a on Jan-11-2006 15:33:

quote:
Originally posted by Summer21
In my opinion a "break" is a bunch of B.S... it's like cheating but with an excuse. If you feel the need to see other people, then you're not meant to be together, and/or there are some serious problems in the relationship. I never understood this approach.

Sandra
Agreed.

Posted by Moral Hazard on Jan-11-2006 15:36:

Mrs. Hazard and I considered this but then realized that we felt we were certain of our love and that we were right for each other therefore we really had little to gain from such an activity.

Posted by Tordan on Jan-11-2006 16:17:

Posted by Swamper on Jan-11-2006 16:25:

quote:
Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl
who's idea=both of ours, more him though seeing as I'm still young and have plenty of time...he's not quite as young and doesn't have as much time

Marriage should be something that is considered when the person you're with is whom you want to share your life with - instead of settling for your partner simply because of timing - compatibility first, 'convenience' (with respect to age) second.

Posted by DigitalMP on Jan-11-2006 16:26:

Posted by dnmr on Jan-11-2006 16:28:

"A break"
The problems with a break:
1) it can be misleading to one or both people involved, usually ends up meaning that you just need to end it but don't know how
2) when your break will end and get back together is never trully known, how do you start dating others then just say sorry got go back my break is over? and one person may feel this way but the other may not so it can be a very mental and emotional rollercoaster
3) If you try and get back together after being apart there are many things that can occur, such as jealousy, who were you dating, what did you do..... and the trust may never be fully regained.

Truthfully, I believe breaks are bs and that they never work, if you need a break it probably means that things aren't workin out and that you need to end it. THe end result of a break is a lot of heartache, emotional damage that no one needs.

Posted by DigDeep on Jan-11-2006 16:30:

quote:
Originally posted by Summer21
In my opinion a "break" is like cheating but with an excuse. If you feel the need to see other people, then you're not meant to be together, and/or there are some serious problems in the relationship.

Posted by LKD on Jan-11-2006 16:33:

quote:
Originally posted by dnmr
Truthfully, I believe breaks are bs

i dont care what u say...i think Breaks> DDTT

ok nuff of my dry humour

Posted by Moral Hazard on Jan-11-2006 16:33:

quote:
Originally posted by Swamper
Marriage should be something that is considered when the person you're with is whom you want to share your life with - instead of settling for your partner simply because of timing - compatibility first, 'convenience' (with respect to age) second.

OOPS!

Posted by Yohan on Jan-11-2006 16:41:

Posted by LittlePoonzgirl on Jan-11-2006 16:54:

Actually, our relationship is better than ever and we consider each other best friends as well as gf&bf. I guess the problem is one of us has had other relationships, the other one hasn't to the same degree. I don't think this is complete bs because I think it's hard for some people to decide if they want to spend the rest of their life with someone if that's the only person they have dated for an extended period of time. Are most people 100% sure that's the person they want to start a family with absolutely no doubts? I mean, I don't even know how long this will last, perhaps not long at all.

Sometimes people don't appreaciate what they have till it's gone.

Posted by LittlePoonzgirl on Jan-11-2006 17:02:

quote:
Originally posted by El Kay Dee
i dont care what u say...i think Breaks> DDTT

lol +1

Posted by Moral Hazard on Jan-11-2006 17:05:

quote:
Originally posted by LittlePoonzgirl
Actually, our relationship is better than ever and we consider each other best friends as well as gf&bf. I guess the problem is one of us has had other relationships, the other one hasn't to the same degree. I don't think this is complete bs because I think it's hard for some people to decide if they want to spend the rest of their life with someone if that's the only person they have dated for an extended period of time. Are most people 100% sure that's the person they want to start a family with absolutely no doubts? I mean, I don't even know how long this will last, perhaps not long at all.

Sometimes people don't appreaciate what they have till it's gone.

I had no doubts that Mrs. Hazard was the woman with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life, subsequently, it was one of the easiest decisions of my life..... deciding what colour to stain the kitchen cabinets was much more difficult.

Posted by muzzybear on Jan-11-2006 17:19:

If you've been together a year and he doesn't want to get married, then as we say in my family "shit or get off the pot." When you've been with someone "all four seasons" (1 year), that's pretty good to know if you're suited (according to my mom, who I didn't listen to and eloped after 5 months, but it was definitely the right choice!).

Once trust is gone, that's it. Wondering what he did while you were apart will drive you mad. Not worth it. Better to move on, although it's hard. Like getting up the courage to rip off a bandaid. It'll hurt, but only for a bit.

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