Osama Bin Laden's Email to his troops

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-- Osama Bin Laden's Email to his troops

Posted by SteveStrangis on Jan-21-2006 02:59:

Osama Bin Laden's Email to his troops

funny :P
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Memo to: All Al Quaeda Fighters
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've
really
come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are
fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles,
we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster ... have you?
I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halaal toaster). Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the crap out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairymilk chocolates recently, clearly
wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairymilk slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must
distance ourselves from the infidels' bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS DONKEYS" on the group
toilet wall, it's a lie! The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse
that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys,there is a grey area.)
Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise
trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Scotty. Love you lots, Group Hug.

Ossy xo

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry
bag. Cut it out, it's not funny any more!

Posted by Nsonic on Jan-21-2006 03:21:

hahaha
osamas bed linen

Posted by batemanscott on Jan-21-2006 08:20:

i lol'd alot at this

steve, thats funnier then the letter u showed me from ur mum to ur grandfather asking him to take her back to pleasure town. Nice work!

Posted by MiSSyM on Jan-23-2006 05:16:

ummmmmmm did you know that in Melbourne, there has a dj called BASS BIN LADEN?

im serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive seen it written in Beat & Inpress before, I think he dj's rock music or some shit..............

haha

BASS BIN LADEN'S GUNNA DROP BOMBS!

Posted by TCB on Jan-23-2006 07:37:

any body seen the episode of family guy with stewie doing the impersination of the start of naked gun and then osama bloopers from his hate videos. fucking hillarious.

Posted by stren on Jan-23-2006 10:09:

scotty lol

Posted by FiK on Jan-25-2006 05:41:

Re: Osama Bin Laden's Email to his troops

quote:
Originally posted by SteveStrangis
Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS DONKEYS" on the group
toilet wall, it's a lie! The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse
that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys,there is a grey area.)

ahhahahaha gold GOLD