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Posted by PauLie_C on Feb-20-2006 23:50:

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

"You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs

Moving on to the second floor the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

She decided to move on to the third floor where the sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,013 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store".

Posted by Philby on Feb-21-2006 00:11:

hehehe
bloody women

Posted by Teflon_Teapot on Feb-21-2006 00:16:

nice one

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Feb-21-2006 00:20:

much more creative than just saying \'women are shit\'

Posted by MiSSyM on Feb-21-2006 00:21:

Why are men like toilets?

Coz they are either occupied or full of shit.

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Feb-21-2006 00:29:

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don\'t Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

Posted by Teflon_Teapot on Feb-21-2006 00:42:

i think you are going to get for that

Posted by narcism on Feb-21-2006 01:45:

wheres the big dick floor?

Posted by sezzy on Feb-21-2006 02:45:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN

much more creative than just saying 'women are shit'

maybe the women in tassie are. could be because they're all related so you don't get much variety.

Posted by PauLie_C on Feb-21-2006 02:51:

LOL, nice one

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Feb-21-2006 03:10:

quote:
Originally posted by sezzy
maybe the women in tassie are. could be because they're all related so you don't get much variety

repetitive, un-creative, unoriginal, un funny.

quote:
Originally posted by PauLie_C
LOL, nice one

easily amused.

Posted by sezzy on Feb-21-2006 04:35:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
repetitive, un-creative, unoriginal, un funny.

HA! kinda like your replies hey. "oh there's a grammer error there, a spelling error there, blah blah blah" think of something good to say or don't say anything at all

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Feb-21-2006 04:45:

quote:
Originally posted by sezzy
HA! kinda like your replies hey. \"oh there's a grammer error there, a spelling error there, blah blah blah\" think of something good to say or don't say anything at all

firstly, its grammAr.

secondly, i do that as a social service, to help the poor and under educated to a greater level of understanding regarding written expression.

i very rarely intend my spelling or grammar anal-ness to be in any way amusing.

if you want to make tasmanian jokes there are plenty of opportunities that dont re-hash old & over-done ideas. i could do a workshop on humour for you if youd like? pm me and i'll make some time to help you out of that stagnant thinking pond youre in.

cheers

Posted by sezzy on Feb-21-2006 04:56:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
firstly, its grammAr.

secondly, i do that as a social service, to help the poor and under educated to a greater level of understanding regarding written expression.

i very rarely intend my spelling or grammar anal-ness to be in any way amusing.

if you want to make tasmanian jokes there are plenty of opportunities that dont re-hash old & over-done ideas. i could do a workshop on humour for you if youd like? pm me and i'll make some time to help you out of that stagnant thinking pond youre in.

cheers

sorry. i live in MELBOURNE. don't have time to listen to your whinging. i have a LIFE to attend to.

kthnxby

Posted by Philby on Feb-21-2006 04:57:

i want a refund, these flames are barely lukewarm!

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Feb-21-2006 05:01:

philby fucks male dogs!

Posted by Teflon_Teapot on Feb-21-2006 05:09:

quote:
if you want to make tasmanian jokes there are plenty of opportunities that dont re-hash old & over-done ideas. i could do a workshop on humour for you if youd like? pm me and i'll make some time to help you out of that stagnant thinking pond youre in.

tasmanian jokes are only really fun when they are directed at real tasmanians because they actually get mad. there is no point insulting someone who has moved to tasmania because they already know just how stupid a decision like that was and no matter how much you berate them, it is nothing compared to the punishment they inflict on themselves.

Posted by Nsonic on Feb-21-2006 05:12:

quote:
Originally posted by sezzy
sorry. i live in MELBOURNE. don't have time to listen to your whinging. i have a LIFE to attend to.

kthnxby

Sif use the old 'i have a life' excuse. Thats so lame.
i bet you read his 'whinge' anyway

And if you had a life, you won't read and respond to this post.

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on Feb-21-2006 05:12:

quote:
Originally posted by Teflon_Teapot
tasmanian jokes are only really fun when they are directed at real tasmanians because they actually get mad. there is no point insulting someone who has moved to tasmania because they already know just how stupid a decision like that was and no matter how much you berate them, it is nothing compared to the punishment they inflict on themselves.

see! now THATS funny! (you ****)

Posted by Philby on Feb-21-2006 05:12:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
philby fucks male dogs!

getting there but not quite reaching for the asbestos suit yet...

Posted by Philby on Feb-21-2006 05:13:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
see! now THATS funny! (you ****)

now go inflict some more punishment on yourself. yeah. yeah thats good. yeah faster. oh my!

Posted by tathi on Feb-21-2006 05:19:

quote:
Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

hey that's not true!

Posted by sezzy on Feb-21-2006 05:38:

quote:
Originally posted by Nsonic
Sif use the old 'i have a life' excuse. Thats so lame.
i bet you read his 'whinge' anyway

And if you had a life, you won't read and respond to this post.

ORLY?

yeah guesse am just bored today.

i probably shouldn't bag tasmania's too much seeing as our own marsh is a tasmanian. he lives here now though, so he has ridden himself of all impurities.

Posted by -=M=- on Feb-21-2006 18:49:

quote:
Originally posted by sezzy
ORLY?

yeah guesse am just bored today.

i probably shouldn't bag tasmania's too much seeing as our own marsh is a tasmanian. he lives here now though, so he has ridden himself of all impurities.

#1: i never thought i'd ever see you use the "ORLY" soon you'll be posting owls.

marsh is what we call a "smart tasmanian" who has actually seen the awful truth that tasmania is in fact australia's refuse deposit, the ones that don't know this sit happily down there in their blissfully ignorant state.

any australians who choose to move to tasmania by their own free will need to be turkey slapped.

zomg philbyftwkthx grats on your blue

Posted by charlee on Feb-21-2006 22:05:

quote:
Originally posted by tathi
hey that's not true!

Tathi I have never seen you dance

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