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-- i love my boss


Posted by chojin on Mar-27-2006 17:34:

i love my boss

situation:

I'm doing data entry and me and my mate have to check eachothers work. this means EVERYTHING that's recorded gets checked. sometimes there are disagreements and we have to go to our 'task manager' to sort them. i had to do this today. after doing it under the error log heading: 'error description' i put 'as discussed with god' as a harmless joke, which i thought he would laugh at how wrong i was:



----------------------------------------------

Chris,

Though I am quite friendly with all staff on a personal level to ensure team
morale, please refrain from any comments/remarks which could be termed
derogatory/offensive/of a mocking nature all of which can be classified as
undermining management authority as mentioned within the disciplinary portion of
your induction pack. Therefore please remove the comment from the log which you
have just sent, coupled with your comments last week of a "glorified team
leader" I suggest that you choose your remarks carefully in future.







^^^^^the above was meant in 100% seriousness

any other tales of bastardish managers/bosses? reason i dont respect him is because hes not much older than me, and his repsonsibilities are not much more than mine, he gets paid a lot more. and hes generally a suck up. but thats the way to make it in the world right


Posted by Basstard on Mar-27-2006 18:03:

the next time he comes up to talk to you in a friendly social manner i'd tell him to not to bother. cant stand assholes like that


Posted by chojin on Mar-27-2006 18:06:

quote:
Originally posted by Basstard
the next time he comes up to talk to you in a friendly social manner i'd tell him to not to bother. cant stand assholes like that


init.

we always have a bit of banter. like the other week he totally ignored it when i said:

'you're not really a manager though are you? i dont see you as my boss, you're just a glorified team leader that travels between branches because no other sod wants the job'

...he just laughed along and insulted me back. but its the way he remembered it and tried to use it against me now


Posted by simplcake on Mar-27-2006 18:16:

so u hate your boss/manager/"glorified team leader"


Posted by chojin on Mar-27-2006 18:19:

thing is...i do have one thing which i have as backup

when i first started i had to use his account for the first week while he watched me work. i spotted a faceparty link in the history so i thought, hmm what have we here?

what i got was the best leaving present ill be able to give. not only a faceparty account of my 'manager' but topless photos and complete twatish photos. the whole buildings getting an anon forward when i leave

[edit: of course everyone of my close friends who i work with has had the link sent already to have a good roffle at]


Posted by simplcake on Mar-27-2006 18:28:

quote:
Originally posted by chojin
thing is...i do have one thing which i have as backup

when i first started i had to use his account for the first week while he watched me work. i spotted a faceparty link in the history so i thought, hmm what have we here?

what i got was the best leaving present ill be able to give. not only a faceparty account of my 'manager' but topless photos and complete twatish photos. the whole buildings getting an anon forward when i leave


i found out my boss has adultfriendfinder and alt.com account on his computer and i wanted to confront him for it cuz he always complains about me spending too much time on surfing internet which is not true, and i thought "pwned bitch" but then i thought if i did that then he would fire me for invading his privacy, so i just said fuk it, whatever


Posted by simplcake on Mar-27-2006 18:34:

i mean computer is for business purposes and everyone has a right to use it so it is really invading privacy?

but i know what u mean man, my boss is kinda same compared to yours. he does NOTHING but still gets paid lot more than me.


Posted by RickyM on Mar-27-2006 19:15:

I thought that the thread title meant you were confessing your undying love for your boss chojin


Posted by eFeKz on Mar-27-2006 19:18:

what a fuck, u should get the 1337 TA's to hax0r his computer.


Posted by SuspicionVandit on Mar-27-2006 20:53:

once upon a time i was a cashier. After getting so much money in your register, you get warned that you have too much money and need a manager to come pick some up. So I paged the manager(ling) that I was getting warned until BAM, the register reached the limit and locked up. So I called like 15 times and I could see she was in the back talking on her cell phone. So I get on the PA and say "hey, get off the phone, do your job, I got a pickup." So she came up and started yelling and screaming at me and cussing in front of the X customers that had piled up, as the register was locked and I couldn't ring anyone up. So while she was yelling at me I turned around and picked up the phone and say "hold on, I think this is good time for phone sex." So she got pissed off as fuck and pulled me off the register into the managers room and gave me the lashing, all the while nobody is watching the customers or helping them.
So 15 minutes later, one of the other managers(laura) comes off her lunch along with a former manager(jon). I go back to my register and get everything underway. 10 minutes later I can her Ling talking shit to Laura, so I turn around and make eye contat with Laura and start motioning my hands like a blowjob and then give the finger, motioning to Ling.
So now they call the General Manager at home and she gets all pissed off. So Jon brings me into the office and says "wats up, what happened?" I explained my situation and all he said was she was a fat bitch and we started talking about this girl.
Next day I speak with the General Manager, but doesn' matter. I was acting all serious and sorry, but when I left the room, I closed the door and had a big smile on my face and was laughing hysterically with my co-workers. What she didn't tell me was that in the days following, there were emails and phone calls complaining about "some fat lady"


Posted by eRRaTiK on Mar-27-2006 20:54:

did you hit it?


Posted by Sunsnail on Mar-28-2006 02:29:

quote:
Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
once upon a time i was a cashier. After getting so much money in your register, you get warned that you have too much money and need a manager to come pick some up. So I paged the manager(ling) that I was getting warned until BAM, the register reached the limit and locked up. So I called like 15 times and I could see she was in the back talking on her cell phone. So I get on the PA and say "hey, get off the phone, do your job, I got a pickup." So she came up and started yelling and screaming at me and cussing in front of the X customers that had piled up, as the register was locked and I couldn't ring anyone up. So while she was yelling at me I turned around and picked up the phone and say "hold on, I think this is good time for phone sex." So she got pissed off as fuck and pulled me off the register into the managers room and gave me the lashing, all the while nobody is watching the customers or helping them.
So 15 minutes later, one of the other managers(laura) comes off her lunch along with a former manager(jon). I go back to my register and get everything underway. 10 minutes later I can her Ling talking shit to Laura, so I turn around and make eye contat with Laura and start motioning my hands like a blowjob and then give the finger, motioning to Ling.
So now they call the General Manager at home and she gets all pissed off. So Jon brings me into the office and says "wats up, what happened?" I explained my situation and all he said was she was a fat bitch and we started talking about this girl.
Next day I speak with the General Manager, but doesn' matter. I was acting all serious and sorry, but when I left the room, I closed the door and had a big smile on my face and was laughing hysterically with my co-workers. What she didn't tell me was that in the days following, there were emails and phone calls complaining about "some fat lady"


Good work dude! Usually things work out the other way


Posted by wizniz on Mar-28-2006 02:48:

quote:
Originally posted by Sunsnail
Good work dude! Usually things work out the other way


i work as a bagger/carts/"service associate" person at the local Giant grocery store.

it really helps one to get to know the public and how they think better.

im known to my coworkers as the guy to do random shit, but im just trying to figure people out.



this one time, after having placed 12 (twelve) gallons of water in this womans cart, she told me in a pissed off voice to put them in bags.
every other time this has happened people were joking with me so i quickly shot back "is that really necessary?"

she quickly turned red and requested the presence of a manager. one quickly scurried over, gave me a verbal finger shake in front of this lady and walked away.

i continued to talk to the lady in my friendly way (hey! yay we're all happy... etc) and made some comment about how my horoscope said that that day was supposed to be the best day all week, shot her a look and walked away.

now every time she comes in i make sure IM the one servicing her and play completely dumb every time she drops hints about our encounter.




bitch.


Posted by SuspicionVandit on Mar-28-2006 02:59:

I rarely questioned customers. Like double bagging pens or demagnetizing 2liter cokes.
here's just a dumb story.
one guy is buying whatever and pulls out his card. I ask credit or debit and he says debit. So I start putting it through but it says "invalid pin". we do it two more times and by protocol, i have to get "suspicious." so i casually ask to check his id with the debit and it checks out. I ask him if hes using the pin for a different debit card. He says no and that the pin is right there on the back of the debit card. I'm like "ok, well that's kind of unsafe if you lose it." so he puts it up and shows it to me. I don't see a pin number. he adds "its not like i can't forget it. it's only 1 number." I'm like "ummm ok, it's usually 4." He puts the debit card back up and points to this sticker thats on the back of the debit card.
"to activate this card, call 1-800-xxx-xxxx and press 6"
he thought 6 was the pin.
the most retarded part was when I explained the instructions, he says "oh, hold on, i got that number in my wallet."


Posted by Sunsnail on Mar-28-2006 03:00:

quote:
Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
I rarely questioned customers. Like double bagging pens or demagnetizing 2liter cokes.
here's just a dumb story.
one guy is buying whatever and pulls out his card. I ask credit or debit and he says debit. So I start putting it through but it says "invalid pin". we do it two more times and by protocol, i have to get "suspicious." so i casually ask to check his id with the debit and it checks out. I ask him if hes using the pin for a different debit card. He says no and that the pin is right there on the back of the debit card. I'm like "ok, well that's kind of unsafe if you lose it." so he puts it up and shows it to me. I don't see a pin number. he adds "its not like i can't forget it. it's only 1 number." I'm like "ummm ok, it's usually 4." He puts the debit card back up and points to this sticker thats on the back of the debit card.
"to activate this card, call 1-800-xxx-xxxx and press 6"
he thought 6 was the pin.
the most retarded part was when I explained the instructions, he says "oh, hold on, i got that number in my wallet."


You have some great stories so far. Any more?


Posted by SuspicionVandit on Mar-28-2006 03:28:

one more about Ling:
She had just been promoted to manager and was getting the hang of things, so other managers would stay with her to close the store until she was ready.
So, it comes time for her first night to close. Me and Ling are closing the store, counting money and basic data entry and my co-worker Chris (who is 17) is only supposed to be there until the doors close. The store is about to close and things are slow, so we predict we will leave early that night. So we lock up the doors, Chris clocks out and goes around the store to pick up some employee purchases. He buys his stuff. He's a talker, so he hangs out for a while. Ling finishes up the last register and puts the money in the safe and goes to the managers room for inputing the data. It usually takes 45 minutes for the whole closing process, but it looks like we'll be out in 10.
she comes out with a calm question. "where are my keys?" We don't know and she starts looking around and me and Chris continue talking. She comes back and is like "oh shit, i can't find my keys." She starts to panic and Chris decides to hang out with me as I briefly walk around the store looking for the keys. We go around twice and we don't see them. We tell her and she starts fucking wigging out. Shes cussing and all. Chris isn't diagnosed, but we think he had ADD, so he was immature about it. But it was 11pm by then and I was laughing with him. He starts making animal noises on the PA and starts yelling out "day 1. Ling loses job."
We come to the conclusion that when she put the money in the safe, she put left her keys in there as well. So she calls the other managers on the phone to see if they can bring their keys to the store and open the safe. One is at a party and the other flat out tells her "fuck no." By then (it's around halloween), chris puts on a gorilla suit for kids and runs into the managers room and ends up tearing up the back. we put it back on the shelf. Then we take some witch brooms and start playing hockey with a bottle of lotion and the bathroom doorways as goals.
So as an ultimate act of desperation, she calls the General Manager. Now it's 1am. we've settled down and are reading magazines. Now it's just a matter of waiting for her to come. We are reading magazines and we notice she's straightening the store. Of course, when the GM comes in at the middle of the night, she better be doing something productive. By the end, its 2am, the GM comes in with her pajamas, she is pissed off as fuck, ling has this stupid look on her face. That of course, is when I clocked out. 11 hour shift.
From there, it was customary that when she made any kind of mistake, big or small, we said:
"Code 27. Keys in the safe"



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