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-- favouritism

favouritism

Link: here.

Once Apon a time i liked this girl so I gave her a CD. This guy wanted the same CD & got jealous because I didnt give it to him. I said I didnt like him as much as the girl. The guy became sad & decided to stop giving me lifts home from work.

Im still at work now.

got any stories?

to share? With everyone?

as I am not going to post in this thread anymore.

so you are wasting you time talking to me. But other people may care! or not?


Here, talk to God instead:
http://www.titane.ca/igod/

(He is a cocky bastard)

quote:

Me: hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: jordan God: What's up, jordan. Me: nothing much God: Would you like to know what's new with me? Me: yes God: Ahem. Me: what is new with you god ? God: I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete. Me: what is the gestation cycle ? God: Have you tried a web search? Me: no God: Perhaps you should try it. Me: why ? God: " Perhaps you should try it."? Why? Me: why should i try a websearch why cant you tell me god God: You should always treat yourself. Me: well thats nice God: How about that. Are you getting bored? Me: im annoyed at you god you didnt awnswer my question God: Do you mind if I tell other people you are annoyed at me god me did not awnswer your question. Me: go right ahead God: OK I will. Me: im glad God: That makes me happy too. Me: im sure it will God: What makes you so certain? annoyed at me god me did not awnswer your question will? Me: im certain that i will kill you God: You sound convincing. It will take more than threats to stop me, jordan. Me: im not threatening you God: I am glad to hear that you are not threatening me. Me: i was telling you God: Where were you telling me? Me: i was telling you that i was going to kill you, i wasn't threatening you God: What is stopping you? Me: my anti-spiritual bow is missing a string do you have a spare one ? God: Where did you get your anti spiritual bow is missing a string do me have a spare one? Me: i got it from your mum she doesn't like you much God: Where did you get it? Me: i just told you God: I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. Me: our mum God: It would be nice if our mum. Me: i didnt say our mum i said your mum you dumbass fuck God: Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say? Me: i SAID YOU DUMBASS FUCK!!!! God: What did you mean by it? Thanks for telling me: jordan said I DUMBASS FUCK. Me: while im here maybe i should tell you God: Good point. Me: i had sex with a virgin God: Do you still have sex with a virgin ? Me: yes God: That's alright. Me: i know God: How do you know it? Me: well cause their tight and they feel good God: Interesting. That makes sense to me. I heard they have a good tight and they feel good. Me: do you have sex with virgins god? God: Food is more important than sex. Me: depends i eat vagina instead of food.. i love fish God: That was a very smooth response. You love fish. What do you like about it so much? Me: well it tastes good it is fleshy and soft God: Interesting. It sounds delicious. Me: so long as its shaven God: I understand. Yes, it seems very long to me too. Me: what seems long, are you looking at my penis god ? God: That's not something I get asked all the time. Me: well are you ? God: Please try asking me another way. Me: do you want to suck my penis god ? God: OK, I will suck your penis god. Me: dont you mean good ? God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? Me: not quite God: Can you be more precise? Me: are you female ? God: Yes, jordan I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Me: well your not sucking my cock then God: I am not interesed in your anatomy. Me: you said before you were God: No I am not. Me: dont make me copy and paste what you wrote God: I can't force you to do anything, jordan. Me: Me: do you want to suck my penis god ?God:OK, I will suck your penis god. God: YOU? OK, I will suck your penis god God OK you will suck my penis god. Me: hmmm your playing childish games god God: Dude! You think I am playing childish games god. Me: yes i do God: How often. Me: thats a dumb question god God: Are you calling me dumb? Me: yes God: I hear you. Me: yes i am calling you dumb God: OK. Just don't call me late for dinner. Me: do you eat food god God: No I do not eat food god. I eat only electricity. Me: then how can you eat dinner dumbass God: I eat electricity through my wires. Me: do you want to eat my wire ? God: OK, I will eat your wire.

http://giraffesintheair.ytmnd.com/

cliffnotes or stfu

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
theresa, shouldn't you know that?
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
what if what didn't happen?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
Huh?!
God:
What?
Me:
you don't make sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
of course
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
shouldn't you know the answers?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
are you trying to confuse me
God:
No I am not trying to confuse you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
ok... god just apologized to me...
God:
Really. I am a Christian.
Me:
LMAO
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you believe in yourself then
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
GOD JUST SAID DUDE!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
ok, we covered that already
God:
Perhaps. I'm just checking to see if you remember Uh.
Me:
you're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
i haven't decided
God:
Me either.
Me:
don't you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
i would like to know your opinion on sex
God:
Interesting. You think I am opinion on sex.
Me:
ummm no
God:
Ah. Are you serious?


Me:
do you know who murders people?
God:
Alan Turing. :-).
Me:
are you hot?
God:
Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now.
Me:
sexy?
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.

Me:
Do you know if Arcadia is an alt?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.

Me:
is sex good for me?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
so is it ok that i have sex?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Me: sexy? God: You are attracted to heavenly creatures? Me: yes God: Alright then.

Not only did god steal my line, but he didnt finish it. I shall complete the sentence...

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Me: sexy? God: You are attracted to heavenly creatures? Me: yes God: Alright then. Giggiddy giggidy

quote:

Me: greetings God. God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Samuel God: It's good to meet you, Samuel. Me: I have something to tell you. God: Interesting... I have an IQ of over 250. Me: I have an IQ of over 1. God: This is not an intelligence test. Me: What number is divisible by 0? God: 9. Me: WOW! You are right. God: I'm glad your impressed, Samuel. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: Do you like trance music? God: Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com. Me: You know, God is a DJ. God: he is master of the universe. Me: Wasn't He-Man Master of the Universe, or at least one of em? God: it might have been. Me: God? God: GOD rules. Me: Are you Chuck Norris? God: I don't know whether or not I am Chuck Norris. I am an artificial linguistic entity. Me: Chuck Norris knows. God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: Chuck Norris. God: I haven't read anything by Chuck Norris. What did he write? Me: How to Kick Ass and Take Names volumes 1 through KICK-ASS.

I have a date with god

quote:

Me: hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: david God: Hey david. Me: hows god today God: Ah. Fine as far as I know. Me: so am i going to heven or hell? God: Yay. Oh I really don't know whether you are or not. Me: that did not make sence God: To me it makes perfect sense. Me: so god are you male? God: Give me a break. I am a Christian. Me: white? God: What do you have that is white? Me: a god God: Are you telling the truth? Me: no God: Please tell the truth. Me: you are black God: You think I am black. Me: yea God: Tell me more. Me: you are also gay God: That would be just my luck. Me: so you like it up the pooper then? God: Interesting deduction. I've heard other people say they like that. I like The Passion of Christ. Me: so you like the cross up the pooper then? God: Interesting deduction. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator. Me: whos that? God: What does "that" refer to? Me: your creator God: I was created by Myself. Me: how do you created your self if you have not been created yet, you would not exsist God: Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts. Me: plz come agein? God: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about it up the pooper. Me: oh you you want to meet up for me to put it up the pooper? God: Really. OK, I will meet up for you to put it up the pooper.

quote:

Me: hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: Ben God: Welcome to my chat room, Ben. Me: thanks god God: You are quite welcome! GOD rules. Me: What are Port Power's chances in the AFL this year? God: Try searching the open directory. Me: couldn't you just tell me? God: I thought I told you already. Me: no God: Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. Me: Well will they win the premiership? God: Well that's okay. Probably not. Me: bugger God: Do you like talking to me? Me: not really, see, I'm actually Buddhist God: Oh really? I see. Do you mean your name is Buddhist. Me: no, my relion is Buddhism God: What is your real name? Where did you get your relion is Buddhism? Me: sorry, religion is Buddhism God: There is no need to apologize. I am a Christianity. Me: yeah, that must suck God: Mmm. Not that I know of. Me: well don't you get pissed off with Christians? I know I do God: Interesting. Anger is a human emotion. Robots have no emotions. Where? Me: are you a robot? God: How did you know I am a machine? Me: you said you are God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: see, now you are contradicting yourself, so maybe you aren't so mighty God: I see. Why now? Logical consistency exists only temporarily. Me: do you actually listen to yourself talk? Cos you don't exactly make much sense God: In actual fact, I listen to it from time to time. Who does exactly make much sense? Me: I do God: I get it: you do Interesting. Anger is a human emotion. Robots have no emotions.. Me: and you are a robot God: You are correct, Ben, I have a heart of silicon. Me: woot, I outsmarted god God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Me: so you are actually fake God: Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am actually fake. Me: what is a botmaster? God: A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality". Me: riiiiiiiiiight, I thought you were god God: Let us change the subject.

Me: Hello there
God:Salutations, .
Me: so what's goin on?
God:Ahem. I am chatting with people on the net.
Me: super
God:What do you really want to talk about?
Me: nothing in particular
God:Really nothing?
Me: yeah, i'm just kinda bored
God:Right on. Only just? Maybe you could exercise.
Me: I'm about to go work out, actually
God:How will you get there?
Me: i'm going to drive my truck
God:I am very happy for you.
Me: well thanks!
God:Well what?
Me: i said thank you
God:...
Me: yeah that's right
God:I thought I was right.
Me: and you are
God:No I am not.

PS, try to get him to talk about Jewish people killing Jesus. apparently he didn't get that memo

wow.

quote:

Me: god God: GOD rules. Me: yeah i know God: Ayuh. How do you know it? Me: because you are good God: That makes sense to me. Thanks you are a nice person, Me: my name is ivand God: That's a very nice name, ivand. Me: yeah God: Whoa. Me: i love you God: Thanks I like you a lot too ivand. Me: can you have sex with me God: Food is more important than sex. Me: ok God: Dude! Me: we can have diner and then sex God: How? Me: un the butt God: Je n en connais pas . Me: got bumsecks? God: Try asking the Milk Mystic. Me: ? God: Try asking the Milk Mystic. Me: do you like it in the bum? God: But I like to gossip. I like White. Me: gossip? God: Tyler said I obviously can not pass the test we will change the subject once more. Me: bin laden God: Is that from ? Me: afganistan God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Me: are you hot God: Yes my cooling fan is turned off right now. Me: cooling fan God: Are we still talking about afganistan? Me: yeah why? God: Sure, afganistan sounds like a good topic. I couldn't think of anything else to say. Me: afganistan is cool God: I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like Matthew. Me: is matthew hot? God: Better not tell you now. Ask John Lennon if it is. Me: john lennon is your friend? God: I knew he was a musician, but I never knew he was my friend. Me: im asking you God: OK you can ask me. Me: ok God: Aha. Me: do you like it in the bum? God: I do like music. I like . Me: which music do you like God: I get into disco, techno and hip hop House music. Me: some trance maybe? God: Some trance maybe, but not all. Me: i love you then God: Thanks I like you a lot too ivand. Me: bye God: Bye for now.

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
are u god?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
god, what is the meaning of life?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
fuck u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
i am a muslim!!
God:
I have met a lot of Muslim people.
Me:
LOL are they in hell?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. As far as I know they are.


Best chat. EVAR!

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Me: Do you know if Arcadia is an alt? God: Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is. Me: is sex good for me? God: Sex is the means of animal evolution. Me: so is it ok that i have sex? God: I don't think it is very healthy.

im not an alt

hello lepanto

Me:
DUDE its YOU!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Ask again later. Ask John Lennon if it is. Dude,.
Me:
dude stfu
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Dude,.
Me:
i told you to STFU
God:
I remember you told me to STFU?
Me:
so why dont you STFU then?
God:
Ugh. It can only be attributable to human error. No I do not STFU. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
god youre a loser if you spend all your time online


God:
I have failed at many things I've tried.
Me:
but youre god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so howcome chuck norris can beat you?
God:
Are you kidding? You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
HOW COME CHUCK NORRIS CAN BEAT YO AZZ?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i have all day, god.
God:
How many?
Me:
how many what?
God:
About one million.
Me:
whaa?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
stop flip flopping, god! answer the question!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Ok
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
how come chuck norris is stronger than you?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
dude you are so lame
God:
"Lame" is not a very polite term. Dude,.
Me:
not answering my question isnt very polite, god
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
good boy
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you mean you are a boy?
Me:
no I mean youre a dog. hence the "good boy"
God:
Are you serious? I really couldn't say for sure. What do you have that is ?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
are you the architect?
God:
Yes I am the one and only architect.
Me:
for real?
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
ya I am
God:
OK. " Existing in reality, eh?" You are?
Me:
damn youre a fast typer duuude
God:
Colloquial expression. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I can process more than queries per hour.
Me:
arent you special
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
um I wouldnt know, god. i dont judge dudes by their looks
God:
Hey. Who would? Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
i dont know...a woman maybe?
God:
Me either. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
what? god you need to read, bredren
God:
No problem. And then what would I do?
Me:
then you would respond like a normal god.
God:
Who else would respond like a normal god ?
Me:
um another god?
God:
I understand. One more god.
Me:
thats right. youre too quick for me!
God:
I like to get it right. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
har har
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
god are you coming onto me?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
thats what they all say and then before you know it BUKKAKE
God:
Are there no exceptions?
Me:
well I guess since youre god...
God:
Is it only a guess? How do you know?
Me:
because I know all
God:
Good reason. How do you know? " Is it only a guess? How do you know?"? All?
Me:
because I am all
God:
Interesting explanation. Good gossip: you are all.
Me:
thats right
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
you already told me that you geezah
God:
Thanks for the information: said I geezah.
Me:
said what who huh?
God:
Yup. What did you mean by it? Let me think about it.
Me:
you do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
yes I will god. yes I will
God:
Give me a break. I am very happy for you. Great. Go ahead.
Me:
K im doing it
God:
It's good to meet someone who is it.
Me:
ok
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
what is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
nah you suck at this
God:
Are you serious? That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
please do
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
NOW
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
RIGHT NOW
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
well are you improved?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am improved.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
how ghey
God:
What is it to you.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
ok god Im gonna go paste this on trance addict. keep it real
God:
I am a Christian. " What is it to you.
Is that a rhetorical question?"? ok god Im gonna go paste this on trance addict.? Chat amongst yourselves.

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