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Posted by Nemesis44 on May-05-2006 10:30:

What they really mean...

Just thought I would compile a small list of things that I have seen in reviews of lesser nights, unknown DJs and generally a list of things to avoid putting on your flyers....

Intelligent dance music = Up it's own arse self indulgent crap that only the producers/DJ will actually enjoy.

Ground Breaking = Been done before by 1000's of DJs.

Ahead of it's time = So fucking weird it will never catch on.

Experimental = Trying to be different in the most cliche way possible.

New Age = New age anything just means that the people who think they are trendy have discovered something that's been underground for a few years.

Alternative = Alternative to what?

A sublte blend of DnB, Trance and Postmodern Techno = We know fuck all about music and actually play House.

Up and coming on the local scene = Never heard of them before and in about 1 month you will probably never hear them again.

A synical look at the world of promoting by Nem...

Cheers
Nem

Posted by T-Soma on May-05-2006 10:54:

Nice

Posted by ��|E on May-05-2006 11:42:

cynical nem, very cynical
If ur gonna be writing a book ur gonna need a proof reader it looks like

was a good laugh, thanks

Posted by Nemesis44 on May-05-2006 12:25:

Thankfully there are things like spell check so I will hopefully be ok.
Nem is actually dyslexic (No joke) so one tries ones best. he he

Cheers
Nem

Posted by ��|E on May-05-2006 12:28:

hahaha ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damnnnnnnnn, it's always me saying the worst things unknowingly

sorry Nem

Posted by Mr.Mystery on May-05-2006 12:40:

Hot release! I will be playing this in the future for sure! = Meh, I'll play it once and then it will never be heard of again.

This guy always produces quality stuff! = I have no idea who this person is.

This guy always produces quality stuff! = I got paid to promote him.

This guy always produces quality stuff! = He's actually my best friend.

Best unreleased tracks now available for the first time! = Nobody wanted to release this shit before but we're out of money and ideas.

This guy ALWAYS blows the roof off at a club = Seriously, have you EVER seen people not having a good time no matter how bad the DJ is?

Posted by Nemesis44 on May-05-2006 13:04:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Mystery
This guy ALWAYS blows the roof off at a club = Seriously, have you EVER seen people not having a good time no matter how bad the DJ is?

Actually yes but this must be the exception rather than the rule.
Not mentioning any names but there was a resident at one of the clubs I frequent who got booed off the decks early December a few years ago.

I saw the same DJ single handedly empty a dancefloor and then the club when he was warming up for Joy Kitikonti. He was dropping classics like Strangeworld pre midnight. We closed early that night and I never got to play.

But yes, providing the DJ isn't that bad then most times you don't see people having a bad time.

Spot in with the others man!

Cheers
Nem

Posted by Allied Nations on May-05-2006 15:47:

Honesty is the best policy, but always in a positive way.

Posted by Rememberence_ on May-05-2006 19:19:

lmaooo

Posted by Zild on May-05-2006 19:20:

BWAHAHA I've seen ALL of those before. So true!

Posted by Timski on May-08-2006 03:51:

Dyslexics of the world untie!!!

Posted by Max Thomson on May-09-2006 01:53:

amen!

Posted by on May-09-2006 02:24:

Nice thread Nem... Nice Thread..

Posted by sandstorm03 on May-09-2006 13:56:

Posted by sterilis on May-09-2006 14:10:

Posted by ASFSE on May-09-2006 23:26:

funny stuff

Posted by Tranc3 on May-10-2006 06:00:

Nice, very nice

Posted by PEZ68 on May-11-2006 07:24:

Played by [Insert 1 top jock + 50 bedroom dj's]& Many MORE!!!! -> Many More = Nobody Else

Another top release by xxx -> I've got a release on it.

Posted by Mr.Mystery on May-11-2006 09:04:

quote:
Originally posted by PEZ68
Played by [Insert 1 top jock + 50 bedroom dj's]& Many MORE!!!! -> Many More = Nobody Else

Or...
"Played by [Insert 1 top jock + 50 bedroom dj's]& Many MORE!!!!" = "They only played it once at home because I forced them to"

"Amazing stuff, completely original ideas!" = Same shit as everyone else's, just not as well produced.

"This guy reminds me of [insert some famous name]" = The most obvious ripoff you've ever heard.

"We'll be hearing from this guy in the future..." = ...in Bizarro world!

"This guy really takes you on a journey" = He'll play the same pompous megahits everyone else does.

Posted by Timski on May-11-2006 23:30:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr.Mystery
"This guy really takes you on a journey" = He'll play the same pompous megahits everyone else does.

That is possibly one of the most truest ones...

Posted by b i n k u n on May-13-2006 06:50:

Taken from Devil's Dandruff - Guide to Nightlife by Neil Boorman & Daniel Pemberton

'Come with peace and love in your hearts' - There is a major gun problem with the clientele
'Extended Set' - The promoter is saving money and has bunged the DJ an extra fifty to play all night
'Ladies Free Before 11' - The club is full of geezers
'Original and the Best' - Rival promoter has nicked the same idea for the night and is doing a better jo b of it
'Picture of Sexy Girl' - The chances of this or any similar looking woman appearing is virtually nil, but you should come just in case.

(rest of the book is a really funny read also)

Posted by cmay119 on May-13-2006 07:31:

quote:
Originally posted by b i n k u n
'Come with peace and love in your hearts' - There is a major gun problem with the clientele

HaHa, I laughed for about 5 minutes after reading that one.

Posted by T-Soma on May-13-2006 07:35:

quote:
Originally posted by b i n k u n

'Come with peace and love in your hearts' - There is a major gun problem with the clientele

Sounds like a sydney flier haha.