I Need Help!!! - Getting Kicked Out of Home

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Posted by alex_cooke on May-12-2006 10:31:

I Need Help!!! - Getting Kicked Out of Home

Ok, first ever thread post on TA and it has to be about this....

I'm getting kicked out of home tomorrow night due to my mother being an absoulte whore. I have $2000 and I have no idea how to go about finding housing/support or anything like that? I'm in tears now and its really not ko0l. This is first time i've really been left on my own with no knowledge about the situation and no idea what to do, so I really need help, and im really not gonna appreciate any jokes, so please dont...

AC -x0x-

Posted by 00soups00 on May-12-2006 10:37:

before i head off for the night mate my thoughts go out to you..

i genuinely hope you're alright

My advice would be to leave your stuff at home (i mean they are your parents, they wont throw out or burn your stuff). Then pack your clothes and stuff, and go stay at a mates place for a few days or even a week. Take some time out of the siatuion and allow everyone to cool down. Once this has occured you wiull have a clearer head and so will she, so its possible you shall be able to work things out.

im not too sure what the situation is, but you need to remember that at the end of the day it is her house, and you're living in it.. so whatever rules she sets you should abide by no matter how unjust you think they are. otherwise the alternative is to move out..

2k will get you living in a place for about a month or two, however you will definitely need to get a full time job if you want to continue to live out of home.

my advice - take some time out from your mum and viceversa, and then go back in about a week and do whatever it takes to sort it out.

good luck mate..

Posted by tathi on May-12-2006 10:51:

that's terrible

that's great advice from soups

If you are having trouble finding a friends place for the night, book yourself into a hostel. i stayed at the YHA one in melbourne during Two Tribes 04 for only $25 a night. You'll have to share it with some backpackers, but company is always good in situations like these. 2K should be enough money to get back up onto your feet with the help of your friends and cheap hostel accomodation.

Posted by alex_cooke on May-12-2006 10:52:

Thanks Soups & Tathi!!! Any advice is good advice right now... Will definatly keep the backpackers hostel in mind too. Didn't think of that.

AC -x0x-

Posted by Light The Fuse on May-12-2006 10:52:

fark dude - yeah soups and tathi have given some good advise - geez man - hope it works out for ya

Posted by Renegade on May-12-2006 10:56:

First of all are you studying or employed part-time / casually? If you're under 25 and can prove your independence, you should be elligable for government assistance (and I don't mean just the dole) so long as you're doing at least one of these two things. In the meantime, I'd recommend doing what Soups says - finding someone's place to crash at for a few days - and then if the situation with your mum doesn't improve, head down to Centrelink to find out what sort of assistance you're entitled to. Failing that, $2000 should give you enough for a bond for your own place (is there anyone you know who might need a room-mate?) and for a couple of months of rent / bills / groceries etc. It may seem like it's going to be difficult to make ends meet, or that you're not going to be able to have enough money to survive on your own, but remember that there is a welfare support system out there for young people in exactly your situation. Like I said, head down to Centrelink and find out what your entitled to.

Whatever happens, though, best of luck with it all mate. I'm sure you'll be okay.

Posted by alex_cooke on May-12-2006 11:09:

I'm studying at Uni at the moment, but not employed. I'm 19 but dont know how to prove my independance. My Dad says I can crash with him over the weekend, but no more than that (He's a complete cvnt - wont let me live with him) and I could maybe go down and live with my grandparents for a bit, but they wouldn't be able to support me for long...

AC -x0x-

Posted by eROs.au on May-12-2006 11:15:

dude thats bad.

the same shit happend to me once and i did the same thing soups said. it worked out for me.

all the best brother i hope it all works out for you...

Posted by Trance Nutter on May-12-2006 12:28:

Thats rough man,

hope it works out alright for you.

Posted by jun139 on May-12-2006 18:38:

WTF ... they ARE ur parents rite dude .. damn thats harsh .. u have some pretty damn good advice up there.. but try look for a mates place to stay at.. hopefully u can save the 2k cash u have .. then try to go back and sort everything out .. all the best man.

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on May-12-2006 23:46:

Posted by imagine on May-12-2006 23:49:

Bad Luck

yeah YHA would be a smart move

If your lucky you can live with your mum after a week of two

Posted by alex_cooke on May-13-2006 01:33:

Thanks very much guys. Spent last night here and got woken up by Mum going "I'm going out. I've left the paper out on the table with all the share house listings, you should probably get up now" so I still think she's pretty serious about it all.

Thanks SO much to everyone so far with the advice. I had no idea what to do in this situation but no at least I have some sort of guidance. God, the amount of emotions running through my head right now are phenominal!

AC -x0x-

Posted by pkcRAISTLIN on May-13-2006 01:39:

^^ yeah, i totally understand dude. one of the worst things ever is to have living arrangement hassles. just put some time n effort in and you should be fine. may the force be with you!

Posted by astroboy on May-13-2006 01:43:

quote:
Originally posted by alex_cooke
I'm studying at Uni at the moment, but not employed. I'm 19 but dont know how to prove my independance. My Dad says I can crash with him over the weekend, but no more than that (He's a complete cvnt - wont let me live with him) and I could maybe go down and live with my grandparents for a bit, but they wouldn't be able to support me for long...

AC -x0x-

Centrelink will give you the details but as far as I remember to be eligible for Youth Allowance you need to either:
1) be living with your parents and have earned over a certain amount over a year. Or
2) (and this probably applies in your case) be in a situation where it is impossible for you to live with your parents.

You will want to prove number 2. This is easy. Just go to centrelink and get all the forms and information for Youth Allownance then make an apointment at the uni counselling service (most unis offer a free one) and tell the counsellor your story and get him/her to write you something saying that you can't live with your parents and why. This will be enough fot centrelink to start paying you youth allowance. here is also an option to add rent assistance to the amount they pay you, which is quite easy to get.

In terms of accomodation, once you know how much you're getting paid by the government, figure out a weekly budget (how much you spen on food, how much you can afford to pay in rent etc) and go out looking for a sharehouse that meets your budget requirements. There will be notices posted all over uni noticeboards everywhere and on the window outside Readings on Lygon street in Carlton. Find a student sharehouse and you'll be fine.

After you sort out government assistance and accomodation you NEED to find a part time job somewhere. Get a Jobseekers network card (or whatever it's called) from centrelink. That will allow you to apply for more jobs. search the internet for jobs, look for signs in windows of cafes and restaurants. There will be a service at your uni that deals with student employment etc... go down there or find their website and look around. If you really need to you can find a job quite quickly... and heck if you don't like what you find early on you can always just work there and keep looking for a better job in the meantime.

Good Luck mate, remember you are not the only one. This is such a common story, lot's of people go through it. Though it's stressfull and scary now you'll come out the other end of this experience more confident, independant and strong. Just stay strong and don't give up!

Posted by alex_cooke on May-13-2006 02:19:

Thanks Astroboy. That is EXACTLY what i need to know right now! Packing at the moment which is making me quite sad, but also a bit excited/scared/nervous as to not knowing whats ahead for me. I'll make sure I do a quick post before I leave, and keep you all up 2 speed. Thanks,

AC -x0x-

Posted by astroboy on May-13-2006 02:42:

I just read pkc's post. A stat dec from one or both of your parents is also way to show centrelink that you can't live with your parents. If your parents won't sign a stat dec then something from the counsellor should work fine. The best way to avoid any problems is to get both. Centrelink may try to call your parents house to make sure you're not living there and scamming the system.

Just remember it's important to always be on top of things until you get accomodation and money sorted. Write down all the things you need to do, places you need to go, paperwork you need to fill out and hand in etc on a piece of paper and plan out what day you're going to do what. Cross the tasks off as you accomplish them. Time is of the essence and you can't afford to fuck around much until you find a place to live and settle in, and sort out where you're going to get money. Once you get that done you're laughing.

Posted by ONION on May-13-2006 03:13:

"hi2u centerlinkz my mahhh is a wh0rebagz and she chromes. Dont raugh out roud, its terriblez. She has silver imprints on her face"

That always w0rkz mangz :c

Good luck with it

Posted by MiSSyM on May-13-2006 04:15:

Hope it all works out well for you AC!

But yeh like everyone said-make sure you go to Centrelink & find out some info about shared housing in your area or like Pkc said check your uni info board for any shared accomodation, etc.

Posted by alex_cooke on May-13-2006 06:59:

Ok, well this looks like this is gonna be my last post from home. I'll have my laptop with me so hopefully I'll be able to check TA every so often and keep you all update with how things are going. I'll also be posting on my LiveJournal, so if people want to keep track of how I am, i'll also be posting there. The address is http://alexcooke.livejournal.com
My mates picking me up in about 10 mins, to take me to Dad's so i gotta pack up my laptop. Thanks SO much to everyone for the advice, as well as the people that have PM'd me! It really means a hell of alot to me at the moment.

Over and Out from Narre Warren North,

AC -x0x-

"...Man can learn nothing except by going from the known to the unknown..."
- Claude Bernard

Posted by Teflon_Teapot on May-14-2006 01:59:

good luck with everthing alex, from memory you can get just under $300 a fortnight plus rent assistance if you are studying full time and living away from home and then you can earn another $100 a week before it impacts on your payments, so if you can manage to find a job for just one day a week it would really help you. it is not like having a full time job but you can survive on it. hope everything works out for you dude.

Posted by queen_vee on May-14-2006 05:31:

Good luck with it all Alex, you'll be just fine cos you seem a really great person. There'll always be people willing to help you out if you need!

Mothers can be so very irrational, lurching from one extreme to the next, especially if there's no husband around to keep their womanly psycho-ness in check . If you want to return home, fingers crossed she's just having an OTT mother 'moment' and has you back when her sanity returns.

Posted by eRRaTiK on May-14-2006 10:04:

quote:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

Posted by jun139 on May-14-2006 10:15:

quote:
Originally posted by eRRaTiK
...Robert Frost

i did that poem in year 12 HSC.. lolz .. can't believe i would actually see it again .. and of all the places .. here!

anywayz i hope everygoes well for u alex.

Posted by mzvirbulis on May-14-2006 11:39:

hey alex keep positive mate!

heaps of people have been in your situation and have made thier lives better because of it.

hope your alright, and just remember there's always someone that can help.

i totally agree with everyones great advice, hope all goes well alex.

check soon on how your goin.

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